Pigskin Prophet: Where is Norman Edition |
Pigskin Prophet
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- Thursday, October 17 2024
We are getting a little more serious each week. The list of unbeatens in the FBS stands at 11, but 27 teams in the Power 5 have one loss or less. The list of teams who still have a shot at their conference championships is large, and there are still a number of teams who believe they can make the College Football Playoff.
South Carolina is not among those teams, thank goodness, which means I can have Christmas at home and won’t have to go to Mobile or Shreveport or Pascagoula or Birmingham or some other forgotten outpost for their bowl game, if they make one. Only the big games for me. The Gamecocks had a shot to beat LSU but didn’t because they couldn’t get out of their own way. Had a shot to beat Alabama. Couldn’t get out of their own way. And that’s kinda the deal with being a South Carolina fan, right? Always woulda, coulda, shoulda, but never the bride. This week we have helped get the wayward fans to Norman, Oklahoma, for the game against the Sooners. You know how these people operate, right? I even made a little money with some of the fans. I posted in one of the Gamecock discussion groups that the cell phones work differently out there, and because Oklahoma is an hour behind those of us on the East Coast, they are on a different network. I told them their cell phones would basically be bricks – people who procreate in front of portable toilets will believe anything – and printed out MapQuest copies of directions from Columbia to Norman and sold them for $12 apiece. Made $1200. Eating Wendy’s and not Burger King this week! THURSDAY BOSTON COLLEGE AT VIRGINIA TECH Call this an elimination game. Both of these programs can still make the ACC Championship Game, even though it’s a long shot, but the loser will have two conference losses. Sure, the Hokies are kinda corny with their oversized turkey legs and their rock anthem and jingling keys (ooooh!! They jingled their car keys at me!! I was so frightened!!) but they’ve played well after early season losses to Rutgers and Vandy and getting the you know what from ACC refs. This one will be fun to watch, and with temps hovering around 49 degrees at kickoff, it’s officially football weather. KEYS 27, BC 21 FRIDAY OREGON AT PURDUE Less than six days after edging out Ohio St., the Ducks travel to the Midwest (home of the nicest little Burger King I’ve ever seen there in West Lafayette) and the Drum People of Purdue. Surely there will be a bit of a hangover effect? Surely there will be a letdown? Nah, this is still the same Purdue group that got walloped by Notre Dame, and while it may take the Quackers a quarter to get their little webbed feet under them, they will bang the heck out of that drum. OREGON 45, PURDUE 17 FSU AT DUKE The ‘Noles have had a weird start to the season, with a trip to Ireland where Georgia Tech laid a shillelagh across their feathered heads and two open dates and losses galore. Now they travel to Duke for a game at Wallace Wade Outdoor Stadium, and the host Dookies won’t be accommodating. After all, basketball hasn’t started and those people are already angry, and while they don’t have a shillelagh, they do have life-size cardboard cutouts of Mike Krzyzewski they can throw at opposing players. Those cardboard cutouts then whine in an unbearable accent and ACC officials throw flags while Duke football players flop everywhere. It’s not gonna be pretty. DUKE 24, FSU 20 SATURDAY MIAMI AT LOUISVILLE Let’s see, Cardinal fans had dreams of an undefeated season shattered because they aren’t as good as they thought, and Miami is undefeated because ACC officials wet themselves when a decision has to be made against the Canes. Those two meet in the house that Papa John built, and I think Louisville will have a little something for the tow truck drivers from South Beach. This one will be back and forth right until the end, when the strippers from South Beach show up and distract the Louisville players and Miami scores another late touchdown. MIAMI 33, LOUISVILLE 27 VIRGINIA AT CLEMSON The Cavaliers get to do something they rarely have the opportunity for – play in front of more than a couple of thousand fans. The Virginia fans haven’t quite caught onto the fact that their football team has a chance at bowl eligibility, and they show up here and there but never in big numbers. There will be a full house of orange-clad folks welcoming them to Clemson, and things will be nice and friendly and folksy and welcome to our tailgate. And then the ball will be kicked off, and things on the field will turn business-like as the poor Cavalier gets shredded. CLEMSON 40, VIRGINIA 17 SOUTH CAROLINA AT OKLAHOMA The South Carolina folks might be a little late, cause MapQuest might have sent them to Norman, Nebraska. I’m just sayin’. But Brent and company have had trouble scoring points in bunches. Or really points at all. And they seem to be not playing well. South Carolina will turn it over a bunch and commit a lot of penalties, but somehow will pull of the sort of upset in Norman. SOUTH CAROLINA 23, OKLAHOMA 21 ALABAMA AT TENNESSEE The last time these teams played in Neyland Stadium, the Hillbillies rushed the field and carried the goalposts to the river. They have won a few games since then and have bigger dreams, while Alabama is trying to right the proverbial ship after losing to Vanderbilt and letting the MapQuests smack them all over the field. This might also serve as an elimination game – the loser is for now out of the running for the SEC Championship. I know it’s a different coach, but Alabama still has something of a championship pedigree. ALABAMA 30, TENNESSEE 27 GEORGIA AT TEXAS Georgia takes its player-shoving coach and warrant-filling, non-graduating players on the road to check out the music scene in Austin. Awaiting the Bulldogs will be Mattew McConaughey and a surly group of Longhorns who want to establish dominance in their new SEC pastures. The Bulldogs have run free in this pasture for a few years, racking up arrests and wins without too much of a challenge. But these Longhorns are built different, and while the Dawgs will show their teeth and pee all over everything, the bigger animal takes this one. TEXAS 31, GEORGIA 27
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