Pigskin Prophet: The Gamecock is really a hen edition


by - Contributor -
Pigskin Prophet: The Gamecock is really a hen edition

The Pigskin Prophet is set to make some money over the next few weeks thanks to some poor planning, some spurs, and a million-dollar hen.

In the “you can’t make this stuff up if you tried” category of silly rivals, the University of South Carolina had several donors get together to fund the erection of a big Cawk statue in front of Williams-Brice Stadium. In fact, they paid a million dollars for it. The big chicken was brought in a few weeks ago – we even mentioned it – and plenty of pictures emerged from the fiasco last week.

There was also some breaking news – the sculpture is not a Gamecock. It lacks the requisite spurs. Therefore, they paid a million dollars for a hen. The statue, I think, is supposed to look like a Gamecock in fighting action, but because of where the pedestal is place, it looks like the chicken was trying to fly somewhere and looks extremely surprised – and pained – when it flies into something.

As for the spurs – I know a lot of people who can get things done, and we are looking for someone who can add spurs to the milk-chocolate covered hen who looks surprised to hit a post.

A million dollars. For a surprised hen.

Now onto some picks.

SATURDAY

SOUTH CAROLINA AT FLORIDA

The hens travel to The Swamp this weekend to see if they can drain it. Dan Mullen’s squad was long on offense and short on defense in last week’s win over the soon-to-be on probation squad of Lane Kiffin at Ole Miss. South Carolina didn’t look very good on offense, or defense, or special teams in last week’s loss to a below-average Tennessee team, and the only draining that will be done will the last bit of enthusiasm any of the Gamecock fans had for this season. GATORS 38, HENS 17

NC STATE AT PITTSBURGH

Look at Dave Doeren, doing Dave Doeren things. The Wolfpack started the season with a gritty win over Wake Forest, and with a chance to get the season going in the right direction they head up the mountain and get smacked around by a team with just 53 players. A team that was lacking four assistant coaches. And they get obliterated. The obliteration continues this week. PITT 37, PACK 17

TEXAS A&M AT ALABAMA

Alabama could have named it score at hapless Missouri last week, and that offense is rolling with players like Jalen Waddle and Najee Harris. Meanwhile, little Jimbo Fisher and his $75 million contract are under fire in College Station because the Aggies barely beat Vanderbilt. Jimbo needs to get things going in the right direction, and fast, but it will have to wait a week because this one has the potential to get ugly. The Tide have too much wiggle and too much Waddle. BAMA 34, TEXAS A&M 20

JACKSONVILLE ST. AT FLORIDA ST.

Ladies and gentlemen, please let me introduce you to the train wreck that is Florida St. football. Jimbo left the program in a shambles, with culture issues, and Willie Taggart walked in with a glazed look on his face and walked out with a glazed look on his face. Enter Mike Norvell, who has feuded with players on social media, has argued with players, and then tested positive for COVID. Meanwhile, the ‘Noles lost at home to a bad Georgia Tech team and lost on the road to a pretty good Miami team. They don’t have a quarterback, or an offensive line, or really any play makers. This week they get former Clemson QB Zerrick Cooper, who is a dangerous thrower and runner and would be QB1 at FSU. The ‘Noles will win, but it won’t be as easy as they think. FSU 41, JAX ST. 23

AUBURN AT GEORGIA

Ok, I underestimated Auburn (or overestimated Kentucky) last week, and this week we get to see what two former Clemson coordinators (Chad Morris and Kevin Steele) can do in between the hedges. The Bulldogs weren’t just bad last week in the first half, they flat out stunk, and let a really bad Arkansas team hang around. This week they have to come out and play well early. This looks to be a grind it out kind of contest with not a lot of scoring, and while the Bulldogs are more talented, the Tigers are better coached and have a better QB. This one will be interesting and fun to watch. The difference? Auburn has to rely on Bo Nix to win this one, and he won’t. GEORGIA 23, AUBURN 20

OKLAHOMA AT IOWA ST.

There is that Sooner defense we all love and adore. If the Sooners gave up that much to Kansas St., can you imagine what an Alabama or Ohio St. or Clemson would do to them? Oh yeah, it’s the same thing those teams do to Oklahoma every year when the Sooners make an appearance in the College Football Playoff. However, I have rectified the situation and have emailed all of the coaches in the Big 12 to let them know it’s ok to recruit defensive players. They didn’t believe me at first, but I think some offers have actually gone out. As for this one, the Sooners win. OKLAHOMA 78, IOWA ST. 67

VIRGINIA AT CLEMSON

Bronco Billy Mendenhall brings his Cavaliers into Death Valley for an old-fashioned ACC throwdown this weekend. Mendenhall is building a pretty good program up in Charlottesville and they won’t go down easy. However, he is building his program to look more like Michigan St. and Michigan and many other Big Ten programs, which means they are big and slow. Big and slow isn’t the way to beat Clemson, which has size and speed all over the field. The Cavaliers will have their swords taken away from them and they will be spanked with those same swords all the way back to Virginia. CLEMSON 41, VIRGINIA 13

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