Pigskin Prophet: The Chickens put up netting edition
|Friday, November 29, 2019, 6:55 PM- -|
It has been a rough week for the Pigskin Prophet. First, there is that whole Thanksgiving thing, where they make you spend time with family. Then I’ve been trying to get things ready for the Clemson versus South Carolina game at Lee-Brice Stadium. Yes, they changed the name to that of a Clemson fan because the Tigers now own that upside-down cockroach and are heading down to collect the rent.
Like we told you a few weeks ago, the people in charge at U of SC have decided that in order to protect visiting players and fans, they wanted to put up netting in front of the student section. So we went down there earlier in the week, and we hung up some special netting made by a company up in Boone (the research was done App St.) The netting has a sticky substance on it, and instead of merely blocking objects that are thrown from the kids rejected by Clemson and Furman and Wofford and Winthrop and SC State and others, it catches them, much like flypaper. (I suggested chickenwire, but that was seen as insensitive and their feathers got ruffled.
So we ran an ad in the school paper – using colored pictures and small words – and told them we need to simulate a game. Several hundred showed up, glanced at the netting and decided they needed to touch it and climb it.
As a result, they all got stuck, like stupid little bugs in a spider web.
As far as I know, they are still there wondering when the game will start.
Now on to some abbreviated picks.
OHIO ST. AT MICHIGAN
The Bucknuts travel to Ann Arbor Day for the annual rivalry game against the Wolverines, who are featured in the movie Red Dawn. The Bucknuts are considered to be an elite team, and they want to prove to the nation that they are deserving of the number one spot. But old Khaki Pants will have something to say about that. The Wolverines have played well against teams in the Big Ten – somewhat better than Region 5-A in South Carolina – and want to win for their coach. Nah. It will be closer than the Bucknuts want, but they win. OHIO ST. 30, MICHIGAN 20
CLEMSON AT SOUTH CAROLINA
The kids stuck in the netting will provide some early entertainment for the fans who will be in attendance, but the real fun will start when they realize the objects they brought to throw will merely get stuck in spider-net. Poor Will Mistakechamp – no one wants him at South Carolina except Ray Tanner and the kids stuck in the net. It will be brutal early. It will be brutal often. After all, you can’ spell WILLLLLLLL without eight L’s. CLEMSON 41, SPIDERNET 6
GEORGIA AT GEORGIA TECH
Can the Yellow Jackets pull off the upset? No. No they can’t. At all. GEORGIA 37, TECH 15
ALABAMA AT AUBURN
The Iron Bowl. The chance for AL-UH-BAMA to prove to the nation they belong in the playoff despite a loss to LSU and a bad schedule and no Tua Tongueoverlower. However, Auburn is playing for Gus Malaise’s job, and they want to prove they can hang with the big boys. There is some school of thought that they keep this close and maybe win, but I’ve seen them play this year. Their quarterback is unfamiliar with the concept of the forward pass, and while Bama’s D is terrible, it’s good enough to stop Allbarn. ALABAMA 31, ALLBARN 20
FLORIDA ST. AT FLORIDA
FSU has been playing better since Willie Doesn’t Have a Clue Taggart was fired, and they are looking to pull the upset in the Swamp, which hasn’t been drained. The Noles have the talent but they don’t have the coaching or the confidence, even though Florida is overrated. SWAMPY 28, TAGGARTLESS 17