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Replies: 20
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CU Medallion [73569]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 78044
Joined: 11/30/98
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Lunge Poop Update
Nov 5, 2014, 9:44 AM
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Day 4 and counting
The movement of the bowl is still stagnant. I #### you not. This turd is one tough cookie. My go to poop extraction remedy, coffee, is not even working.
Please keep my poo in your prayers.
I'll keep everyone abreast of this tragic situation as the days move along.
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All-In [45047]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 38460
Joined: 8/26/03
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RIP
Nov 5, 2014, 9:45 AM
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your bwhole when it does happen.
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Oculus Spirit [78876]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 78623
Joined: 8/2/03
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Mathematicians work it out with a calculator.***
Nov 5, 2014, 9:47 AM
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Heisman Winner [105525]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 65186
Joined: 12/2/02
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Typical Republican. #smileyface***
Nov 5, 2014, 9:48 AM
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Heisman Winner [137866]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 63785
Joined: 10/22/00
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Really old mathematicians work it out with a pencil.***
Nov 5, 2014, 9:49 AM
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Oculus Spirit [78876]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 78623
Joined: 8/2/03
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an abacus.***
Nov 5, 2014, 9:51 AM
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All-In [30483]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 62655
Joined: 10/4/99
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Fingers and toes***
Nov 5, 2014, 12:37 PM
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All-In [33418]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 32207
Joined: 2/20/04
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Take an adderall and smoke a cigarette
Nov 5, 2014, 9:50 AM
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And you'll drop a Bono in no time
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Legend [17753]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 16306
Joined: 5/13/02
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That's not what NOvember means, you know.***
Nov 5, 2014, 9:52 AM
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All-TigerNet [11019]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 12358
Joined: 7/5/03
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Might be time to take a hit of Metamucil.***
Nov 5, 2014, 9:54 AM
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Orange Blooded [3166]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 1132
Joined: 10/10/14
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dulcolax bro
Nov 5, 2014, 9:56 AM
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before you end up with an #### fissure like I described a few weeks ago. Prayers for your bwhole when that sucker breaches.
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Heisman Winner [135569]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 91618
Joined: 12/6/98
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I suggest you get some MoviPrep.
Nov 5, 2014, 9:56 AM
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And a REALLY long book. Or a tablet with great battery life.
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CU Medallion [60216]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 42553
Joined: 11/30/98
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1) go to Krystal or McDonalds
Nov 5, 2014, 9:56 AM
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2) purchase 2 small burgers
3) eat purchased burgers
4) wait 15 minutes while finding proper bathroom with extra tissue
5) if the impossible happens (meaning: nothing), go STRAIGHT to emergency room. You need immediate surgery for a blocked bowel.
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Hall of Famer [22718]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 46006
Joined: 3/27/08
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Re: Coffee?***
Nov 5, 2014, 9:57 AM
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All-In [45725]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 23803
Joined: 2/1/99
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Re: I swear on a mountain of Charmin no sh!t
Nov 5, 2014, 10:00 AM
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Get an instant poop solution and hold on to the rim.
Cereally.
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Orange Blooded [3821]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 4418
Joined: 1/27/03
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Prune Juice
Nov 5, 2014, 10:10 AM
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Afterwards don't get more than 10 feet from le toilette
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Varsity [236]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 500
Joined: 7/27/04
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Two words:
Nov 5, 2014, 10:23 AM
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Bo rounds
'nuff said.
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Oculus Spirit [97704]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 64844
Joined: 7/13/02
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Ummmm #####?
Nov 5, 2014, 10:41 AM
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Seriously, that's what quadriplegics use.
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Oculus Spirit [75714]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 108843
Joined: 10/26/03
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Just imagine how much weight you'll lose.***
Nov 5, 2014, 10:42 AM
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CU Medallion [58411]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 46321
Joined: 4/23/00
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What's backing up behind it is gonna be toxic.***
Nov 5, 2014, 12:05 PM
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110%er [9120]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 6729
Joined: 9/26/08
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Not to rub it in
Nov 5, 2014, 12:36 PM
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or out (lulz)
but I have taken 3 dumps today already. Actually I posted simply to rub it in.
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Replies: 20
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50
