Pigskin Prophet - Week 2

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The Pigskin Prophet is back for week two after an extremely successful first week of picks, including some that were almost spot on with the final scores.

Of course, what this means is that the Prophet will go zero for all picks this week, so don’t go out and bet the house on what is picked.

The opening week of college football was fun for the most part – until the Monday night borefest that saw the Nation’s Best Player Because He is Tall in Logan Thomas help his Virginia Tech Hokies beat Paul Johnson and the Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets for the Coastal Division title.

This week, there are some intriguing matchups across the board, and we will take a look at some of them here. And remember as always, it’s all in fun, so don’t take anything too serious.

THURSDAY - PITT AT CINCINNATI – Pitt lost to Youngstown St. last week, which made ACC fans stand up and cheer the fact that such a strong football factory is going to be in their conference next season. Rumor out there has it that ACC Commissioner John Swofford is trying to be like the Los Angeles Dodgers, and trade away the rights to Pitt and Syracuse and a school to be named later (Duke) to the Southern Conference for Wofford and Appalachian St. In the meantime, Pitt still has to play the Big East Conference schedule, starting with Cincy Thursday. This is the season opener for the Bearcats, who will be without their top rusher from last season. Look for them to struggle mightily with Pitt, right up until kickoff……CINCY 41, PITT 12

MIAMI (FL) AT KANSAS ST. – The Probationers travel to America’s Heartland – a far cry from the Latin beat of South Beach – to take on Bill Snyder and the Wildcats. The feeling here is that while Miami struggled with Boston College last weekend, they might actually have a shot here because Kansas isn’t known for the strip clubs, limo rides and wild parties that normally throw the Canes off their game. They might actually get a good night’s sleep while staying at the local Western-themed hotel. This is my upset…..MIAMI 35, KANSAS ST. 34

N.C. STATE AT UCONN – The Most Boring Coach in America takes his Wolfies on the road for another out of conference game, which means they are already ten points behind. Last week, one of the three most over-rated quarterbacks in the ACC threw approximately 12 interceptions and all of N.C. State’s fantastic pro prospects in the secondary proved they couldn’t cover a small bed with a big quilt. This week, however, they get the Huskies, a school that beat UMASS 37-0. My guess is the MBCA takes it on the chin again…..UCONN 27, NC STATE 23

MARYLAND AT TEMPLE – The demise of Randy Edsall continues Saturday in Philly when Edsall takes the 13 players he has left on his roster to play the Owls, one of the former doormats of college football. However, the Bill Cosby’s are no longer a doormat, and they will have no problem beating up on the Terps…..TEMPLE 24, MARYLAND 9

AUBURN AT MISS. ST. – Auburn quarterback Kiehl Frazier has a ton of talent, but last Saturday against Clemson he was a little off on some of his throws. Ok, he was WAY off, and I wondered if he had a contract with someone where he had to get his receivers killed because of all the high throws. They all survived, and now the Tigers get to take on Mississippi St., a team that has fallen victim to Chizik’s luck over the past two seasons. Chizik doesn’t have Cam Newton, and Gus Malzahn is now just a faint memory. In fact, Chizik hasn’t really won a meaningful game since Newton graduated – except for at South Carolina last year, keeping SCAR out of the Super Bowl – and that lack of success will continue this week as the cowbells just ring and ring and ring. Chizik will try and come up with another original slogan to rally the troops, but Remember the Alamo just won’t do the trick……MISS ST. 19, AUBURN 17

EAST CAROLINA AT SOUTH CAROLINA – The way I understand it (from reading their message boards), South Carolina’s less-than-scintillating victory over Vanderbilt was actually a victory on par with the Scottish victory over the English at Bannockburn. From what I read, Vanderbilt is going to win the NFC East this year because of all their great players, and South Carolina was even better. What I saw was a quarterback who kept getting hurt on running plays and a coach that kept calling running plays for his quarterback (that made so much sense). However, Ruffin McNeal’s squad just doesn’t have the horses to keep up with all the potential Heisman winners at South Carolina, including all of those receivers who had huge games last week. SOUTH CAROLINA 17, VANDYCAROLINA 13

BALL ST. AT CLEMSON – I almost cringed when someone handed Clemson head coach Dabo SwinneyDabo Swinney
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a microphone at the end of the Auburn game last week, because I expected him to go on another rant about something, a rant that would get plenty of play and plenty of chuckles across the country. However, he was fairly tame and only promised a free baptism for every ticketholder at this week’s game. This week, the Fightin Letterman’s come to Death Valley, and they bring a pretty good offense and pretty bad defense to the party. Letterman might do a Top 10 list on why Ball St. will beat Clemson, but nine of them don’t count. CLEMSON 48, BALL ST. 23

AUSTIN PEAY AT VIRGNIA TECH – The good news for Virginia Tech is that they won over Georgia Tech earlier this week, which effectively gives them the ACC Coastal Division title. After the game, the ACC canceled the rest of the Coastal’s games so Logan Thomas could rest. However, he still has to play the out-of-conference games, and this week he gets to take on Austin Peay, a school out of Clarksville, TN. Thomas was sharp last week, completing approximately nine percent of his passes, and after one completion he found Heather Dinich waiting for him on the sideline with a fresh sammich and a look of adoration (HE’S SO TALL!!!!). We know the Hokie D is good, but how good is that offense? VIRGINIA TECH 38, AUSTIN PEAY 6


USC AT SYRACUSE – If this was a basketball game, it might be an intriguing matchup. As it is, Swofford is hoping Syracuse can stay within 50 so the Orange increases its trade value. Matt Barkley could be out there throwing to Will Ferrell and they would still win. The good news for Syracuse is that basketball is just around the corner (and once Swofford reads that he is gonna try and keep them). THE REAL USC IS IN CALIFORNIA 55, THE BASKETBALL SCHOOL 16

NORTH CAROLINA AT WAKE FOREST – I can’t pick on North Carolina anymore, because I am a graduate – I went up to Chapel Hill a few weeks ago for work, and yesterday I had a diploma in the mail from them and I now have a degree in AFAM Studies. I just showed up on campus, and bam, I graduated. So I guess I have to pick the Fightin Hats (Larry FEDORA, get it?) in this one, and it might not even be close….AFAM 31, WAKE 20

FLORIDA AT TEXAS A&M – I am pretty sure Florida is ranked in the Top 25 because ESPN has a stipulation in its contract that each school has to be ranked at least three times during the season. This is the first SEC game for Texas A&M, and all of their players will be surprised when they wake up Saturday morning and find out they are doing everything faster than they did the day before. Why? Because they now have SEC speed of course. Bam. Just like Vandy, they too can win the Super Bowl. However, all of that newfound speed causes trouble with the offense because the receivers are just running too fast, and the offense struggles and Kevin Sumlin learns it will take a while to learn to play with so much speed. He learns by the second half and Texas A&M beats Florida. Both teams move up 19 spots in the polls….TEXAS A&M 28, FLORIDA 25

PRESBYTERIAN AT GEORGIA TECH – We have just learned that Paul Johnson has filed an injunction against the ACC to have the Coastal’s conference schedule put back in play, and he continues his march to a national championship (according to a radio host who thinks that all those 2-star prospects can beat Alabama) with a win over PC. Johnson realizes he needs to get crazy with his offense and actually turns it into Air Georgia Tech, completing one of three passes in the game. The Jackets win big….GT 44, PC 7

Pigskin Prophet - Week 1

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