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Ring of Honor [23735]
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Wednesday 'Dad Joke' thing....
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May 28, 2025, 7:31 AM
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It's S L O W round these parts of late! Oh, well...a chuckle here and there can't hurt...can it?
What did one eye say to the other? Between us, something smells! (Oh, it gets worse!)
What do you call a teenager who refuses to grow up? Constantine! (See...told ya!)
Behind every husband who thinks he wears the pants in the house, is a wife who tells him which pair to wear.
Ol' Mike: Boss, I'm sorry...I can't come to work today. My wife isn't feeling well.
Boss: Hurry up and come to work...you wife is here. She said you didn't sleep at home yesterday and came to check if you're at work. (Oops!)
Alright...this is the lamest opening 'act' of the year. Someone PLEASE boost this thread! 
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Tiger Titan [48092]
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Re: Wednesday 'Dad Joke' thing....
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May 28, 2025, 7:39 AM
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A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O.
I don't always tell dad jokes, but when I do he laughs!
Thanks as always, Salty. I particularly love this one:
"Behind every husband who thinks he wears the pants in the house, is a wife who tells him which pair to wear."
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Dynasty Maker [3559]
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Re: Wednesday 'Dad Joke' thing....
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May 28, 2025, 7:43 AM
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What is green, but smells like red paint? Green paint. :0)
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TigerNet Elite [74759]
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Re: Wednesday 'Dad Joke' thing....
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May 28, 2025, 8:11 AM
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"A guy dies and, having been far from perfect in life, finds himself in hell. The devil greets him and explains that he'll have to pick from one of three rooms to spend eternity in. So, the guy looks into the first room and sees anguished people shrieking in horror as they burn in a massive fire."
"He quickly shuts the door to the first room and opens the door to the second room...where panicked people are being violently torn to shreds by a giant, raging gorilla. The guy quickly shuts that door, too."
"He then moves on to the third room where people sit in vats of shit up to their necks...but also drink coffee. Hmmmm, the guy thinks. Sitting in shit all day doesn't sound great, but it sure beats the eternal hellfire and raging gorilla! Plus, there's coffee! So, he tells the devil he'll take room number three. A supervisor comes over, helps him into his own vat, and hands him a cup of coffee."
"Not bad! he thinks as he drinks the coffee. For hell, this is not bad at all!
Just then the supervisor blows a whistle and says, 'OK, everyone. Break's over. Back on your heads!'"
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Ultimate Clemson Legend [102356]
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lol***
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May 28, 2025, 8:13 AM
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Offensive Star [319]
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Re: Wednesday 'Dad Joke' thing....
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May 28, 2025, 8:28 AM
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Jesus and Moses were about to tee off on hole number one when the starter rushed out a random third player to join along.
Later on in the round, they approached a par-three 175 yards over water. Moses stepped up to hit first, he left it short, and it fell in the drink.
Next, on the tee, was Jesus. He hit a nasty duck hook straight into the water.
The third man placed his ball into the ground and, like the other two before him, he also hit his ball in the water.
When it was Moses’ turn instead of taking a drop, he took his lob wedge and stabbed it into the bank of the pond. The pond separated the water, divided on both sides.
He walked out and chipped the ball back up onto the green, 5 feet from the hole. When it was Jesus’ turn, he walked across the pond on top of the water, grabbed his ball from underneath, set it on top, and chipped up onto the green, inches away from holing out.
Right before the third man was about to take his drop, a bass swimming in the pond found his ball and swallowed it whole.
And just as the bass was swimming away, a bird swooped down toward the pond and grabbed the fish and began to fly away.
Just as the bird was flying over the green, the bass spat the ball out and it dropped and rolled right into the cup.
Moses looked at Jesus and said, “ I hate playing golf with your dad.”
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Ultimate Tiger [34910]
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I'm reading a novel, "How to Understand Women" by Noah Deah.
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May 28, 2025, 8:29 AM
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The dealer said this SUV would hold six people without any problems. I told him I don't know six people without any problems.
I had a crazy dream last night that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was like 0mg.
Shotgun wedding - A wife or death situation!
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Oculus Spirit [41693]
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Re: Wednesday 'Dad Joke' thing....
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May 28, 2025, 8:38 AM
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When my wife left I was upset, lonely and sad.
So I got a dog, bought a motorcycle, hooked up with a couple of floozies, and blew a grand on drugs and booze.
Boy, is she gonna be mad when she gets home from work!
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Ring of Honor [23735]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Welcome to this little den of 'iniquity-ish'
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May 28, 2025, 9:43 AM
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TinFoilHat ! Good one!
Jedi Kermit® , the books you read aren't in a library, are they!
Message was edited by: Salty55®
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Ultimate Tiger [34914]
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Re: Wednesday 'Dad Joke' thing....
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May 28, 2025, 10:18 AM
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If A is for apple and B is for banana, what is C for?
Plastic explosives.
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him.
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Oculus Spirit [41693]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Wednesday 'Dad Joke' thing....
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May 28, 2025, 11:49 AM
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Superb rhettfla!!
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Ultimate Tiger [34914]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Wednesday 'Dad Joke' thing....
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May 28, 2025, 6:24 PM
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Thanks DST. Anything that goes boom is always fun.
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Game Changer [1984]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Wednesday 'Dad Joke' thing....
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May 29, 2025, 1:47 PM
[ in reply to Re: Wednesday 'Dad Joke' thing.... ] |
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I had a dog with no legs. Named him Cigarette because I was always taking him out for a drag.
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