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Clemson Icon [25288]
TigerPulse: 100%
54
Posts: 10097
Joined: 2014
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Yep...another week, another Monday...more 'Dad Jokes'!
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Jun 9, 2025, 7:29 AM
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Toss a chuckle in the ring!
I searched for a lighter on Amazon, but all I could find were 6000 matches! (Ok, burn that one!)
If you see a robbery at an Apple store, does that make you an I witness? (Oh, deer!  )
Experts did a study of how men think about women's legs. It seems about 15% like women with fat legs...another 20% seek skinny legs...and 65% say they preferred something in between!
In closing...I like to play this game called nap roulette. I take a nap and not set an alarm. Will it be 20 minutes, or 4 hours! Nobody knows! It's risky...and I like it! 
Launch your week right here, right now with an awesome Monday, Tiger Nation! Banter on!
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110%er [3817]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Yep...another week, another Monday...more 'Dad Jokes'!
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Jun 9, 2025, 7:34 AM
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I just got carded at the liquor store and my Blockbuster card fell out. The cashier said "Never mind."
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TigerNet Elite [77696]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Yep...another week, another Monday...more 'Dad Jokes'!
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Jun 9, 2025, 7:46 AM
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"A man walks into the pharmacy with his 8-year-old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, 'What are these, Dad?'"
"To which the man matter-of-factly replies, 'Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex.'
'Oh I see,' replied the boy pensively. 'Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school.'
He looks over the display and picks up a package of three and asks, 'Why are there three in this package?'
The dad replies, 'Those are for high school boys, one for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday.'
'Cool,' says the boy. He notices a six pack and asks, 'Then who are these for?'
'Those are for college men,' the dad answers, 'two for Friday, two for Saturday, and two for Sunday.'
'WOW!' exclaimed the boy, 'then who uses THESE?' he asks, picking up a 12 pack. With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replies:
'Those are for married men, son. One for January, one for February, one for March...'"
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Playmaker [371]
TigerPulse: 81%
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Re: Yep...another week, another Monday...more 'Dad Jokes'!
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Jun 9, 2025, 7:50 AM
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Pokerface
I had to ground my son because he kept chewing on electrical cords.
Not many people are named Lance. However, in medieval times people were called Lance a lot.
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Clemson Icon [25288]
TigerPulse: 100%
54
Posts: 10097
Joined: 2014
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Excellent 'Groans'!
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Jun 9, 2025, 7:53 AM
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Well done...and welcome!
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Ultimate Tiger [36159]
TigerPulse: 100%
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If you drink coffee, you can't sleep. But if you sleep, you can't drink coffee.
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Jun 9, 2025, 8:14 AM
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A man was engaged to a mysterious woman with a wooden leg, but he had to break it off. Her name was Peg, but she changed it to Eileen and got a job at IHOP. I may have overstepped on this one.
I got the words jacuzzi and yakuza mixed up. Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese mafia.
A dyslexic guy walks into a bra, but he still has a good time.
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110%er [3817]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: If you drink coffee, you can't sleep. But if you sleep, you can't drink coffee.
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Jun 9, 2025, 8:40 AM
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I wish I could give you more than one TU! Excellent post
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Ultimate Tiger [37110]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 2014
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Re: Yep...another week, another Monday...more 'Dad Jokes'!
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Jun 9, 2025, 8:59 AM
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Elderly couple in church. Wife turns to husband and says "I've just done a silent fart, what should I do?" Husband says "put new batteries in your hearing aid!"
What does it take to work for the railroad?
Lots of training.
How do artists get to work?
They go over the drawbridge.
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Ultimate Clemson Legend [104215]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Posts: 26558
Joined: 2006
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lol***
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Jun 9, 2025, 10:34 AM
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Game Day Hero [4413]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: lol***
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Jun 9, 2025, 10:52 AM
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Love these!!!
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CU Medallion [18766]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Yep...another week, another Monday...more 'Dad Jokes'!
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Jun 9, 2025, 12:29 PM
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You know what’s odd? Numbers that aren’t divisible by two.
The other day I learned the German word for bra. Stoppemfromfloppin.
I also learned that the first French fries weren’t cooked in France. They were cooked in Greece.
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