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Hall of Famer [22948]
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6th grade birds and bees talk upcoming
Aug 26, 2022, 9:26 AM
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Oldest son started 6th grade last week. School sent paperwork asking if we want to opt-out of the health/PE class talking reproductive health and safety.
My kids are clueless about this stuff. Any pointers for having the talk?
Trying to explain why his classmate call themself 'non-binary' was challenging enough.
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Lot o points [155943]
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I remember when I thought my kids were clueless about this
Aug 26, 2022, 9:28 AM
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Stuff, and they were completely not clueless about this stuff.
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Hall of Famer [22948]
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Re: I remember when I thought my kids were clueless about this
Aug 26, 2022, 9:37 AM
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Why I think they're close but still clueless:
- They giggle when seeing a girls butt in a thong at pool/beach
- Think balls are where the pee is stored
- Don't know why girls sit to pee
- Think you make a baby when you take a nap with a girl (close)
I found my dad's playboy collection by 4th grade which provided bulk of my education.
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Heisman Winner [105614]
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HOLD UP
Aug 26, 2022, 9:41 AM
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pee is stored in the balls, right? This is a joke, right? I mean, where ELSE would you store it?
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Oculus Spirit [85339]
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Well, it can get there, yes, but you DON'T want it there
Aug 26, 2022, 9:53 AM
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It can cost you over $1,000 if you choose to store it there and cause slight to moderate pain for 6 years of more
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Heisman Winner [105614]
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slight to moderate pain in the nutsaq?????
Aug 26, 2022, 10:02 AM
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Oculus Spirit [81073]
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What's their opinion constitutional law?
Aug 26, 2022, 10:04 AM
[ in reply to Re: I remember when I thought my kids were clueless about this ] |
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You know, the part about giving up your pursuit of happiness, or forgoing (his) constitutional right about "no person or class of persons shall be denied the same protection of the laws that is enjoyed by other persons or other classes"? That little phrase kinda gets shredded when you sign a marriage contract with the state.
Yes, it was one of THOSE nights.
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Heisman Winner [135947]
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Heisman Winner [105614]
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Daughter is in 6th grade (4th and 2nd for boys) & I thought
Aug 26, 2022, 9:30 AM
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they were clueless, but my 4th grade son said PhD stands for "Pretty Huge Dinagling" the other day and I am wondering if they know more than I realize.
Took alot for me to not laugh and not correct him, PhD is Pretty Huge Dick (or Playa Hata Degree, thanks Diddy)
I worry about them learning why Mom and Dad want them to get to sleep so bad at night.
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All-In [34486]
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It's obviously because humans are a little like dogs and
Aug 26, 2022, 9:36 AM
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that daddy needs to wash mamma's buttout with his tongue. That's probably the easiest explanation.
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Heisman Winner [105614]
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My dogs can lick their own buttwh0les
Aug 26, 2022, 9:42 AM
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Lucky sumbishes.
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All-In [42891]
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Well you could too. But that dog would bite you.***
Aug 26, 2022, 9:45 AM
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Heisman Winner [105614]
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Nah, I'm the pack leader***
Aug 26, 2022, 9:50 AM
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Oculus Spirit [79257]
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All-In [49050]
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All-In [34486]
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You put your weener in the girl's butt and you
Aug 26, 2022, 9:33 AM
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pee and then a baby comes out a few months later, what else is there to know?
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All-In [30492]
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Why you people so hung up on
Aug 26, 2022, 12:56 PM
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butts?
Groce!
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Heisman Winner [135615]
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Probably the easiest way to deal with this
Aug 26, 2022, 9:47 AM
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is to drop your kid off at BedTyme Stories at the Blacksburg exit off I-85 for an afternoon. He'll know more than you do in just a few short hours.
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All-TigerNet [11207]
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Having driven through Blacksburg a thousand times
Aug 26, 2022, 12:53 PM
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I have no doubt such a place exists there.
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All-In [30492]
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All-TigerNet [13764]
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just leave a stack of Penthouse somewhere for him to find
Aug 26, 2022, 11:09 AM
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and let him learn for himself and grow up with unreal expectations like we all did.
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All-TigerNet [11640]
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The only thing I remember from middle school sex ed...
Aug 26, 2022, 11:51 AM
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Was our 50 something year old female teacher explaining erections. She said that when you have an erection it cuts off the ability to urinate.
All the boys in the class looked around like "am I the only person on earth who can pee with a boner?" A minute later every kid was yelling at the teacher it's possible and she was telling us it wasn't. It was hilarious.
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Oculus Spirit [81073]
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Hey boner***
Aug 26, 2022, 11:58 AM
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Lot o points [163012]
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All-TigerNet [11207]
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Good luck with that one. We got off (no pun intended) kinda
Aug 26, 2022, 12:21 PM
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easy. LilSlac#1 inquired about the origin of babies at the dinner table when he was like 7 or 8. While I was figuring out what in Gawd's name I was supposed to tell him, Mrs. Slac game him a 30 second clinical definition on how babies were made...pennors/vaginers and all. Then described carrying him around for 9 months. LilSlac2 was prolly putting peas in his nose at this point...who knows. Anyhow, the rest of the meal was a reproductive organ vocabulary lesson for LilSlac#1. Afterwards, he just said, "OK" and went on about his business.
LilSlac#2? LilSlac#1 told him everything he needed to know.
Now the gay question came up fairly early... and not in a context that "so and so at school called me ghey". LS#2 friend has been demonstrably effeminate since we met him in preK. Always wanted to play with the girls in class and do generally girly stuff. Nobody ever batted an eye about it until the freakin'girls outed him in 5th grade and made fun of him. Kids are mean AF.
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Oculus Spirit [79257]
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Easy
Aug 26, 2022, 12:56 PM
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All-In [26693]
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Jennifer White holds a variety of classes on the internet
Aug 26, 2022, 6:26 PM
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Just let him attend those.
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CU Medallion [66085]
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D00d you are 2-3 years late with that talk
Aug 26, 2022, 9:52 PM
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Seriously. I did it at nine, I was late
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Oculus Spirit [93673]
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We opted out.
Aug 27, 2022, 4:27 PM
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I think mama talked to the girls but the boys could have instructed me by the time they were sixth grade. Big brother took care of little brother and big brother had some friends in low places.
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All-In [29864]
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Re: 6th grade birds and bees talk upcoming
Aug 27, 2022, 4:42 PM
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I can’t image a better forum to call on for help in this area than the Lounge. No better forum in the world.
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