I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9.
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CU Medallion [59277]
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I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9.
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Jan 16, 2023, 2:34 PM
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The odds were against me.
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All-In [34486]
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Dropped my son off at school.
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Jan 16, 2023, 2:37 PM
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before I left he said "dad, how long do I have to be in school for"
"Until you're 18", I said.
He looked puzzled, then shyly asked "will you remember to come pick me up when I'm 18?"
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CU Medallion [59277]
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I told my friend I liked Beyonce.
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Jan 16, 2023, 2:40 PM
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He said "Whatever floats your boat".
I said "No, that's buoayncy!".
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CU Medallion [59277]
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I cut of 3 fingers in a work accident.
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Jan 16, 2023, 2:46 PM
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At the hospital, I asked the doctor if I would be able to drive with that hand.
He said "Maybe, but I wouldn't count on it".
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All-TigerNet [11714]
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How does a polygamist hippie count his wives?
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Jan 16, 2023, 2:52 PM
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1 Mrs. Hippie, 2 Mrs. Hippie, 3 Mrs. Hippie….
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All-TigerNet [11364]
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On the Disney cruise line there's no casino, they play bingo
Jan 16, 2023, 5:06 PM
[ in reply to I told my friend I liked Beyonce. ] |
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And when B11 is called, the staff working the binge game all dance.
Why?
Because "B11" in Spanish is "Bey-once"
It wasn't funny the first time. It's not funny the 5th time on the same cruise...
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Lot o points [158306]
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All-In [26917]
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EVEN so ... you're in your PRIME ... that should factorial
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Jan 16, 2023, 2:49 PM
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in
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All-In [36450]
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Not a dad joke but…
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Jan 16, 2023, 3:33 PM
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What's the difference between a circus and a brothel? A circus is a cunning array of stunts....
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All-In [32851]
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What's the difference between a vitamin and a hormone ?
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Jan 16, 2023, 3:35 PM
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You can't make a vit-a-min.
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Heisman Winner [139825]
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Re: What's the difference between a vitamin and a hormone ?
Jan 16, 2023, 5:25 PM
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Don’t pay her
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Lot o points [158306]
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Hall of Famer [20386]
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PaunchO and LHefty***
Jan 16, 2023, 11:13 PM
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