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I'm having coworkers over for a cookout tonight

TigerBlood99 · 2018-07-13T12:39:58.325Z

What's the earliest that I should get belligerent drunk and strip down to my underwear and sing "hurt so good" by John Cougar? I gotta get the Lowcountry boil right first. I take it very seriously. I'm also trying to eff one of the people. A girl. Tips for a successful get-together that you hesitantly volunteered for as a sort of team buillding?

ryanadidas

Orange Immortal [65180]

TigerPulse: 100%

Posts: 22741

Joined: 2004

I'll take this a step further.

Jul 13, 2018, 9:09 AM

Tell everybody to be there at a given time.

Tell female to be there 30 minutes early... say it was a mistake or something... make it look like you misspoke.

Find a place in your house where she could see you when she first pulls up. I.E. In your garage with the door up if you have a garage, If you have a window you can see through from the road/driveway - perfect.

Be in that place either naked or in your sexiest pair of undies when she arrives. You need to have a good reason to explain it if she calls you out. I.E. "I was getting dressed, but remembered that I had to put the beer on ice in the garage", or "I was just getting out of the shower and I heard my phone ring." MOST LIKELY, SHE WON'T ADMIT TO SEEING YOU NAKED/NEARLY NAKED, BUT YOU'LL HAVE HER INTEREST... It'll get the sexual juices flowing in her head.

IMPORTANT: Get in your position early and work up a good semi-. You don't want to be full on rager hard, because that'll make her think you are a serial killer, and don't be all limp, because it will look dinky and make you seem less verile.

ALSO IMPORTANT: Don't let her know that you know that she saw you. You just play it cool.

My wife only really has 1 hot friend.
This friend was coming over to our house to pick my wife up for some sort of girls night.
When I knew she was close by, I worked up my semi and stood in front of the bedroom window (facing the driveway) naked, but with a shirt pulled over my head like I was getting dressed. I could see through the shirt to make sure she caught a glimpse, but she would think that I didn't do it on purpose because it looked like I couldn't see her and was getting dressed. I stood in that window with the shirt half over my head for about 5 minutes but I think it worked.
I'm planting the seed now, so that one day when her husband and her inevitably split up, she'll think, "hmmmm that Ryan dude has a serviceable wang. I wonder what he's doing."

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I know you grew up with out a decent father and often look to the Jounge for fatherly advice. Here's a tip on Low Country Boil

Put your biggest pot on the stove and get it to a rolling boil.

Drop in a bag of frozen tater tots first, because they take the longest to cook.

Let the tots cook at a rolling boil for 20 minutes. Use this time to combine all of the ketchup packets and Arbys sauce packets that youve stolen over the years into your nicest cup or bowl. This will be great for dipping.

Buy a big 50 pack of the Guantley red hotdog weiners, chop into 2" log sections and add to the pot. If you are low on time, Vienna sausages are very similar and already cut to length.

Continue to keep at a full rolling boil for 20 more minutes. Add water as necessary and stir constantly.

Then add your shrimp/crayfish. It'll only take a few. No more than a pound. Try to find cocktail shrimp, but breaded will work in a pinch. Be sure to pick the breading off of the shrimp. The captain D's near my house will do that for you if you give the guy in the kitchen a hit off of your Juul.

20 more minutes at a rolling boil.

Add in some sections of corn on the cob. If the corn is frozen, thaw it in the microwave for 10 minutes or so.

Remove pot from heat immediately and dump the soup out onto a card table lined with newspapers, magazines, beach towels, etc.

Enjoy!

I'm having coworkers over for a cookout tonight

You can't build a team without copious amounts of alcohol.

Re: You can't build a team without copious amounts of alcohol.

UDPs gonna UDP***

shut up***

if yore knot in your underroos when they show up,

I'll take this a step further.

You are an absolute sociopath

Re: You are an absolute sociopath

imma try and

This whole scenario seems oddly specific.***

This whole scenario seems oddly incredible.***

This whole scenario seems oddly erotic.

^^^Voice of experience^^^***

One of the best team-building exercises you can do is to

For the girl you are trying to bang

Good plan.

7***

Re: I'm having coworkers over for a cookout tonight

shots

Re: shots

First things first.

Re: First things first.

Re: First things first.

Thanks.

Re: First things first.

I have one bit of advice if you are trynna

Re: I have one bit of advice if you are trynna

It's always good to have a leader when doing things in a

Try taking this "girl" to a hayes Carl concert

Re: Try taking this "girl" to a hayes Carl concert

ansers

He's right you know

ID the HR rat and evict them.***

Take lots of pix and post ASAP***

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