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Clemson Icon [24582]
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Ultimate Clemson Legend [103315]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Hump day, lol.***
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Jun 18, 2025, 8:13 AM
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TigerNet Immortal [176538]
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Re: "What day is it?" Dad Joke time!
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Jun 18, 2025, 8:15 AM
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A vampire bat came flapping in from the night, face all covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep.
Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to p*ss off and let him get some sleep, but they persisted until he finally gave in.
"OK, follow me", he said and flew out of the cave with hundreds of excited bats behind him.
Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a huge forest. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him, tongues hanging out for blood. "Do you see that large oak tree over there?" he asked.
"YES, YES, YES!!!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.
"Good for you!" said the bat, "Because I f***ing didn't."
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Oculus Spirit [44594]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: "What day is it?" Dad Joke time!
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Jun 18, 2025, 8:31 AM
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Whenever a bird craps on my truck, I sit on my porch and eat fried wings - just to show them what I am capable of!
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TigerNet Elite [76247]
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Re: "What day is it?" Dad Joke time!
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Jun 18, 2025, 8:33 AM
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One evening a man was at home watching TV and eating peanuts. He'd toss them in the air and then catch them in his mouth.
In the middle of catching one, his wife asked him a question and as he turned to answer her a peanut fell in his ear. He tried and tried to dig it out but only succeeded in pushing it in deeper.
He called his wife for assistance, and after much trying they became worried and decided to go to the hospital. As they were ready to go out the door, their daughter came home with her date.
After being informed of the problem, their daughter's date said he could get the peanut out..
The young man told the father to sit down, then proceeded to shove two fingers up the father's nose and told him to blow hard.
When the father blew, the peanut flew out of his ear. The mother and daughter jumped and yelled for joy. The young man insisted that it was nothing.
Once he was gone, the mother turned to the father and said, 'That's so wonderful! Isn't he smart? What do you think he's going to be when he grows older?'
The father replied, 'From the smell of his fingers, I'd say, our son-in-law
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Oculus Spirit [44594]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: "What day is it?" Dad Joke time!
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Jun 18, 2025, 8:36 AM
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Freaking hilarious Jedi Kermit®!!
Well done!!
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Game Changer [1920]
TigerPulse: 96%
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Re: "What day is it?" Dad Joke time!
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Jun 18, 2025, 11:04 AM
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George Ferris Jr the inventor of the Ferris wheel never met the inventor of the Merry-Go-Round. I guess they traveled in different circles.
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Paw Master [17863]
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Re: "What day is it?" Dad Joke time!
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Jun 18, 2025, 11:25 AM
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Why did the crab cross the road? He didn’t, he used the sidewalk.
Throughout our marriage, my wife has always stood by my side. She had to. We’ve only got one chair.
My wife broke up with me recently because I’m a compulsive gambler. All I can think about is how to win her back.
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Oculus Spirit [43004]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: "What day is it?" Dad Joke time!
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Jun 18, 2025, 8:14 PM
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What day is it?
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Clemson Icon [24582]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 2014
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Pretty much every day
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Jun 18, 2025, 9:12 PM
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Is 'Wednesday', in that case! 
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