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TIFU
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TIFU


Sep 10, 2020, 7:31 AM

Moments ago, I was taking my morning deuce a few minutes ago.

There's 4 dumpers and maybe 6 urinals in this bathroom. I was in 1 dumper and there was another dude in the other dumper.

I start taking a crap, and pulled up some pr0n on the ol' iPhone, after double-checking to see that my phone volume was turned all the way down and muted.

Not sure what the heck happened, but an ad on the website started blasting at FULL FREAKING VOLUME, "OH I SEE YOU THERE STROKING YOUR C**K!" with a bunch of moaning and stuff.

So I closed out the browser, pinched it off, wiped as quick as I've ever wiped before and hauled A$s out of the bathroom and back to my office before I was identified.

Dude in the other stall didn't say anything, but I'm sure he'll have a story to tell today.




2024 white level member flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

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I think the fu was watching #### in a bathroom stall


Sep 10, 2020, 7:37 AM

Not the ad or volume mistake.

2024 orange level memberbadge-donor-15yr.jpgringofhonor-tiggity-110.jpg flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up


Agreed.***


Sep 10, 2020, 7:39 AM



2024 white level member flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

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Thank you for clarifying moments ago = a few minutes ago


Sep 10, 2020, 8:04 AM

You are clearly rattled and I hope you don’t suffer any long term trauma from this incident. The good news is, since it happened at work your company will be on the hook for any counseling you may require. Best news is you’ve got a witness to bolster your claim for benefits.

His kicker to the story will be “and the dude ran out without even washing his hands”

Message was edited by: cu85tiger®


2024 orange level memberbadge-donor-15yr.jpgringofhonor-cu85tiger.jpg flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

“Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.”
Isaac Asimov


Thanks for understanding.


Sep 10, 2020, 8:10 AM

I may never be able to post a coherently on here again.



I'm well on my way to turning into Aero.

2024 white level member flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

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"I was in 1 dumper and there was another dude in the other


Sep 10, 2020, 8:22 AM

dude in the other dumper"






Sounds hot - TXtigerfan

badge-ringofhonor-clemsonsteve02.jpg flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

Did you know that when you're in there,


Sep 10, 2020, 8:48 AM

and you smell a neighboring stall just lighting the place up with a bowl of butt soup, it's really microscopic sh#t particles coming straight from their anoos and attaching themselves to the lining of your nose? You may as well be doing the human centipede.

2024 orange level memberbadge-donor-20yr.jpgringofhonor-obed.jpg flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up


Thats what inspired him to pop open the flip phone and


Sep 10, 2020, 8:53 AM

search "First time #### bbc twink"

badge-ringofhonor-clemsonsteve02.jpg flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

Well, I wasn't planning on vomiting today


Sep 10, 2020, 9:02 AM [ in reply to Did you know that when you're in there, ]

but, here we are

2024 purple level member flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

Trust me, it's my burden to bear......


Sep 10, 2020, 9:10 AM

stuff like that is why, at 45 years old, I can count on one hand, maybe two, the number of sheets I have taken that weren't in 1) mine or family member's home 2) a hotel/vacation rental. 3) the rare single toilet locked door work bathroom

Unless I'm quite literally about to have an explosive dook in my boxers, you'll not find me in a seated position in a public stall. If it's just basic regularity, I'm like a camel needing water....I can go DAYS if I have to.

2024 orange level memberbadge-donor-20yr.jpgringofhonor-obed.jpg flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up


As a traveling sperm donor


Sep 10, 2020, 12:44 PM

My travels take me across the state and beyond. I have found if you have a turtle head about to pop out driving down the interstate, find a hotel with a lobby (Hampton Inn, Holiday Inn Express, Courtyard, etc.). Walk in like you own the place and release the turtle there. They're usually VERY clean and 20 times better than a gas station or rest area. And I'd just assume #### in the woods than in a portojohn.

2024 orange level memberbadge-donor-15yr.jpgringofhonor-tiggity-110.jpg flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up


Thoroughly confused: you talking about pooping or wanking??


Sep 10, 2020, 12:47 PM



2024 white level member flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

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Pooping.


Sep 10, 2020, 12:58 PM

I don't wank in public places. We've been through this this morning.

2024 orange level memberbadge-donor-15yr.jpgringofhonor-tiggity-110.jpg flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up


"but soup"


Sep 10, 2020, 11:19 AM [ in reply to Did you know that when you're in there, ]



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Man, you should have hidden your shoes, finished what you


Sep 10, 2020, 8:56 AM

were doing properly, and waited on the other cat to leave.

badge-donor-05yr.jpgringofhonor-aero.jpg flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

No man, then he might be waiting outside the door to bust me


Sep 10, 2020, 11:24 AM

I know I would have done that if the roles were reversed.

2024 white level member flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

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Possible, but odds are they'd have grown tired of looking


Sep 10, 2020, 11:33 AM

like a freak just waiting around outside the bathroom.

badge-donor-05yr.jpgringofhonor-aero.jpg flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

Your mistake was probably turning the volume down to your ringer.


Sep 10, 2020, 11:26 AM

You have to swipe up to your “Control Center” on iPhone so that you can turn down the volume for media.

That used to happen to me all the time when I was watching instructional videos on how to fix broken items for people in need. I’m a giver.

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Yep. That's it.


Sep 10, 2020, 11:27 AM

So usually when the video starts playing, you have a second or two before "BANG BROS!" or whatever intro plays. It gives you a second after the video starts to use the volume buttons on the side of the phone to turn the sound volume down.

I was caught off guard by the freaking ad...

2024 white level member flag link military_tech thumb_downthumb_up

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Replies: 18
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