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'Soggy sandwich Day of the week' Dad jokes...
Tiger Boards - Clemson Football
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'Soggy sandwich Day of the week' Dad jokes...

16

Jun 4, 2025, 7:08 AM
Reply

For all you non-retired folks, it's the mid-point...for the rest of us...another day in our faux-paradise! Don't wake us! :) Instead, let's 'groan' in unison...the fine chorus we all are!

I child-proofed my house...but the kids still get in!

What do you call an ant that has been shunned by his community?
A socially dissed ant! (No...no...no...:( )

Daughter: Mom, can I have $20?
Mom: Do I look like I'm made of money?
Daughter: Isn't that what mom stands for? M.O.M...made of money? (Daughter better run!)

Let's close with a certified groan-worthy something or other:
What do you call crows that stick together?
Vel-crows!

Hump your way through this day! If by some freak of nature you missed CBProf®'s masterpiece yesterday, treat yourself to a memory lane stroll!


Message was edited by: Salty55®


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Re: 'Soggy sandwich of the week' Dad jokes...

11

Jun 4, 2025, 7:16 AM
Reply

"Dear Math, grow up and solve your own problems." :0)

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I dont always tell dad jokes but when I do

12

Jun 4, 2025, 7:26 AM
Reply

He laughs

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“Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.” Isaac Asimov
Panta Rhei Heraclitus


Dad walks into a diner and sits at the counter. Waitress comes up and he says,

15

Jun 4, 2025, 7:47 AM
Reply

"BLTNT". Waitress says,"Excuse me?". Dad says," Bacon,lettuce,tomato,not toasted". A few minutes late the waitress brings him his food and he takes one bite of the sandwich and says,"SOB". Waitress says," Excuse me sir". Dad says," Soggy on bottom". Waitress says,"####". Dad says," Excuse me ma'am?". Waitress says," Shoulda had it toasted".

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Yea, Spud!

4

Jun 4, 2025, 9:26 AM
Reply

Well done...and a properly formatted poast, to boot! ;)

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Re: 'Soggy sandwich Day of the week' Dad jokes...

16

Jun 4, 2025, 7:57 AM
Reply

When I’m driving I sing in the truck but only when I’m in reverse.
I’m a backup singer.

In the mountains, there is a monastery where the monks have abandoned their names and just go by letters in alphabetical order based on when they arrived. Their master calls his first five monks in and tells them to seek the most important parts of life.
15 years later the monks return. First monk, Monk-A, says "a simple life where you want for nothing is most important".
Monk-B says "a life in which you love others is most important".
Monk-C said "a life lived in service is the best life".
Monk-D says "a life where you take in everything around you that brings joy is the best life."
The fith Monk, he said something that astounded everyone and the master had to process his answer. The fifth Monk says "eating bananas and swinging from trees is the best life!" This is the philosophy of Monk-E

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Re: 'Soggy sandwich Day of the week' Dad jokes...

10

Jun 4, 2025, 8:14 AM
Reply

A man joins a soccer team and his new teammates inform him, "At your first team dinner as the new guy, you will have to give us a talk about sex." The evening arrives and he gives a detailed, humorous account of his sex life. When he got home, his wife asked how the evening went and not wanting to lie, but also not wanting to explain exactly what happened, he said, "Oh, I had to make a talk about yachting," his wife thought this a little peculiar but said nothing more and went to sleep. The next day she bumped into one of his new teammates at the supermarket and asked, "I heard my husband had to make a speech last night. How did it go?" His mate said smiling, 'Oh, it was excellent! Your husband is clearly very experienced!." The wife looked confused and replied to his mate, "Strange, he has only done it twice and the second time he was sick."

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I try to save a life a day, usually it is my own.


Re: 'Soggy sandwich Day of the week' Dad jokes...

11

Jun 4, 2025, 8:33 AM
Reply

A wife comes home late one night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket,, she sees four legs instead of just her husband’s two.
She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can..
Once she’s done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.
As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.
He says, “Hi darling, your parents have come to visit us, so I let them stay in our bedroom. Do you say hello?”

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A pregnant woman is a true bodybuilder.

10

Jun 4, 2025, 8:50 AM
Reply

Girl: "How am I going to tell dad I'm pregnant?"
Boy: "Leave that to me."
Later at dinner: Her dad coughs, "I need water.:
Boy: "Oh no, grandpa needs water!"

Women have to deal with periods, pregnancy, childbirth, menopause, etc. Men have to deal with women. Is it a tie?



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Speaking of soggy sandwiches...

7

Jun 4, 2025, 9:09 AM
Reply

does anyone like the restaurant Sully's Steamers? Personally, not a fan!

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Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.


Re: Speaking of soggy sandwiches...

6

Jun 4, 2025, 9:35 AM
Reply

"Meat Chimney" is excellent - sausage, bacon, egg and cheddar.

https://www.sullyssteamers.com/menu/

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Never heard of Sullys...

6

Jun 4, 2025, 9:41 AM
Reply

But will definitely check it out. Mmmm...'meat chimney'! That's how I'll celebrate my next physical results...AFTER my bloodwork! :)

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There is a location in downtown Greenville, downtown Simpsonville...

6

Jun 4, 2025, 10:01 AM
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and the GSP Airport (albeit with a limited menu).

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Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.


Been wanting to go to the one in Simpsonville

6

Jun 4, 2025, 10:19 AM
Reply

but it always looks crowded on the weekends. Downtown Simpsonville on the weekends looks like one big frat or tailgate party with the Warehouse bar, the Arcade, the Slice, the Ice Cream Station, etc. Traffic and parking is a nightmare.

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Simpsonville First Baptist has two large parking lots...

7

Jun 4, 2025, 11:08 AM
Reply

that are available at no cost for folks visiting downtown. Very short walk to the places you referenced.

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Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.


lol, happy hump day.***

5

Jun 4, 2025, 10:22 AM
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What kind of cat should you never trust?..

6

Jun 4, 2025, 11:19 AM
Reply

A Cheetah...

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A light joke

8

Jun 4, 2025, 11:51 AM
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It is true that light is faster than sound. Some people appear to be bright until you hear them speak.

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^^Is that a T-Net

3

Jun 4, 2025, 1:13 PM
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Metaphor? :)

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Replies: 18
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Tiger Boards - Clemson Football
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