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Ring of Honor [22350]
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TigerNet Elite [72448]
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Re: Saturday 'Dad Joke' laffs...
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Mar 22, 2025, 7:07 AM
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A lady walked into a drug store and told the pharmacist she needed some cyanide right away.
The pharmacist naturally was concerned by such a request and asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady then explained that she needed it to poison her husband.
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll thow both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You cannot have any cyanide."
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well, you didn't tell me you had a prescription."
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Ultimate Tiger [33911]
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Some people pick their nose, but I was just born with mine.
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Mar 22, 2025, 7:28 AM
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My son yelled "Dad, you haven't listened to a word I've said, have you?" What a strange way to start a conversation.
A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3.00 in the Bahamas. These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
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Paw Master [17559]
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Re: Saturday 'Dad Joke' laffs...
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Mar 22, 2025, 9:37 AM
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I wouldn't tell those to my Grandkids, Salty55!!
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Ring of Honor [22350]
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Neither would I...
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Mar 22, 2025, 9:51 AM
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Lespaw79 ! There's a reason it's 'Dad Joke'! 
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Ultimate Tiger [33691]
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Re: Saturday 'Dad Joke' laffs...
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Mar 22, 2025, 10:39 AM
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Why Iron Man and not Fe-male?
This joke is not for everyone.
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Orange Phenom [14374]
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Not a Dad Joke. but almost
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Mar 22, 2025, 10:42 AM
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I went to my dermatologist appointment last week, and told him about a problem sleeping on my left ear for the past 6 months. I thought it was ingrown ear hairs or some other old person oddity, then it recently started swelling.
So, Rocky (the dermatologist) says "I know exactly what this is. You have loose ear cartledge. Happens when you get older. We can treat it with a nitroglycerin cream."
I looked at him alarmed "Rocky, what's it do? Blow my ear off!"
He says, with a grin, "What? I can't EAR you!"
He followed up with a caveat, "Ben, do not go thru a TSA line until you have stopped the cream for one week. The side effects are a strip search due to suspicion of bomb making. "
Blame it on your cyanide joke, Salty!
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Ring of Honor [22350]
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Orange Phenom [14374]
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Sorry Jedi Kermit
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Mar 23, 2025, 7:57 AM
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I get lost sometimes.
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Orange Phenom [14626]
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Re: Saturday 'Dad Joke' laffs...
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Mar 22, 2025, 11:24 AM
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I don't get it Big Dan...
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Paw Master [16150]
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Re: Saturday 'Dad Joke' laffs...
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Mar 22, 2025, 12:05 PM
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A colorblind buddy of mine told me the other day that all apples are yellow. I said, no way, that’s bananas.
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Ring of Honor [22350]
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True story...
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Mar 22, 2025, 12:31 PM
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My college roomate/best man was colorblind. I didn't know that until we went home to his place one weekend on Hilton Head...I remarked of never seeing a green stop sign before. He asked, "They're green? I thought they were orange!" I asked him what the grass in Death Valley looked like...he replied, "Isn't it painted orange?" 
I guess he picked the right school, that's for sure!
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