|
Replies: 10
| visibility 1854
|
Ring of Honor [23284]
TigerPulse: 100%
53
|
Thursday "I'm behind schedule' dad jokes...
15
15
May 22, 2025, 9:20 AM
|
|
When life interferes with fun...but...no sense whining...nope.
Jumping right in!
What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?
Oh, sheet! (So, so 'dad'!)
It's said when you can't sleep at night, it's because you're awake in someone else's dreams.
When I find you, I'm gonna punch you!
A blind man asked me for $20...so I pulled out a $20 and gave it to him. I asked when I would get it back. He said, "The next time I see you!"
Boy...I got suckered! (My BigAl31® imitation!)
Due to the rising costs of medical tests, all you can do is pee under a tree and wait a bit:
If ants gather = diabetes
If grass dries up = high salts
If it smells like BBQ = high cholesterol
If you forgot to drop...or, pull up your pants = Alzheimers
Have a great day, T-Net! Go Tigers...whip the wolfies...and wrangle those 'horns!
|
|
|
|
 |
Tiger Titan [47060]
TigerPulse: 100%
58
|
Re: Thursday "I'm behind schedule' dad jokes...
11
11
May 22, 2025, 9:31 AM
|
|
What's the difference between a good joke and a bad joke timing.
A man is washing his car with his son.
The son asks, 'Dad, can't you just use a sponge?
|
|
|
|
|
|
TigerNet Elite [73885]
TigerPulse: 100%
61
|
Re: Thursday "I'm behind schedule' dad jokes...
9
9
May 22, 2025, 9:36 AM
|
|
Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. Her mom responded, "Maria, they just wanted to see your panties!" Maria replied, "See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!"
A man and woman had been married for 30 years, and in those 30 years, they always left the lights off when having sex. He was embarrassed and scared that he couldn't please her, so he always used a big dildo on her. All these years she had no clue. One day, she decided to reach over and flip the light switch on and saw that he was using a dildo. She said "I knew it, explain the dildo!" He said, "Explain the kids!"
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ultimate Tiger [34408]
TigerPulse: 100%
56
|
I wanted to watch the orchestra, but it had too much sax and violins.
10
10
May 22, 2025, 9:44 AM
|
|
I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet. I asked my fifteen brothers and sisters but they didn’t have any idea either.
I woke up last night to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor standing at the foot of my bed. At first I was afraid, then I was petrified.
A woman gave her husband an ultimatum: Her or his addiction to sweets. The decision was a piece of cake.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Game Changer [1826]
TigerPulse: 100%
31
|
Re: Thursday "I'm behind schedule' dad jokes...
10
10
May 22, 2025, 9:47 AM
|
|
What did the trex say when he saw the first pterodactyl?
Look at the Dino- Soar
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ring of Honor [23284]
TigerPulse: 100%
53
|
My apology
4
May 22, 2025, 5:16 PM
|
|
clemsontigers69 for not extending a welcome to the merry band of misfits club! Don't be shy about contributing to the chuckles and groans! 
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ultimate Clemson Legend [101843]
TigerPulse: 100%
64
Posts: 26308
Joined: 2006
|
Dad, when he puts the car in reverse: "Ah, this takes me back."***
9
9
May 22, 2025, 9:50 AM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Oculus Spirit [39505]
TigerPulse: 100%
57
|
Re: Thursday "I'm behind schedule' dad jokes...
10
10
May 22, 2025, 9:57 AM
|
|
One day, a man went to an auction.
While there, he bid on a parrot. He really wanted the bird, so he got caught up in the bidding.
He kept on bidding, but kept getting outbid, so he bid higher and higher and higher.
Finally, after he bid way more than he intended, he won the bid - the parrot was his at last!
As he was paying for the parrot, he said to the auctioneer, “I sure hope this parrot can talk! I would hate to have paid this much for it, only to find out that he can’t talk!”
“Don’t worry,” said the auctioneer. “he can talk. Who do you think kept bidding against you!”
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ultimate Tiger [34408]
TigerPulse: 100%
56
Posts: 14366
Joined: 2014
|
Re: Thursday "I'm behind schedule' dad jokes...
10
10
May 22, 2025, 10:18 AM
|
|
After dinner, my wife asked if I could clear the table.
I needed a running start, but I made it.
Rookie cop: Suspect is dancing naked through downtown.
Dispatch: Copy that.
Rookie cop: I can try, but I’m not much of a dancer…
|
|
|
|
|
|
Asst Coach [860]
TigerPulse: 92%
23
|
Re: Thursday "I'm behind schedule' dad jokes...
9
9
May 22, 2025, 10:51 AM
|
|
My wife was also complaining about cleaning the kitchen, I told her to just leave it because something happens after I go to bed and it just gets done. Same with laundry. It’s amazing.
Took her to a nice restaurant where they make the food in front of you. Apparently she’s not a big fan of Subway.
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ring of Honor [23284]
TigerPulse: 100%
53
|
Thanks for joining us misfits!
8
8
May 22, 2025, 12:33 PM
|
|
Some of us miss fitting more than others! 
|
|
|
|
|
|
Replies: 10
| visibility 1854
|
|
|
50
