This would be funny if it wasn't true

Mar 15, 2025, 11:39 AM

Ode to my Dentist

“Make a healthy choice” my brain said to me,
“A donut or trail mix, what will it be”?

Trail mix, I thought, has to be right,
Until I broke off a tooth, while taking a bite.

Off to the dentist to see what damage was done,
I knew from the start that this wouldn’t be fun.

A thousand dollars to get a new crown,
But my dentist, they say, is the best around.

I shouldn’t have mentioned that I’m a Clemson fan,
For, you see, my dentist is a Florida State Man.

I’m sure that this didn’t affect my care at all,
But I shouldn’t have quoted the score in football.

I’ve never been to Quantanamo Bay,
But I was surely water- boarded that fateful day.

The mouth device was the size of a plate,
And spewing water at an incredible rate.

A crowbar was used to place the device in my mouth,
Once it was in, how will it ever get out?

They leaned me back and the water did pool,
In the back of my throat, oh this isn’t cool.

“If any discomfort raise your left hand in the air”,
Which was difficult to do with my arm taped to the chair.

Nobody noticed that I was turning quite blue,
Can’t stop now, more drilling to do.

“Just turn off the water and I’ll tell you Dabo’s plan”,
“He’ll come out showing zone, but really cover man-to- man”.

Oops went the drill and banged up my cheek,
“No problem” he said, “it’ll only hurt for a week”.

I’m sharing this, Tigers, so you’ll avoid my fate,
When choosing a dentist, stay in Palmetto Upper State.

This is all true, as best as I can recall,
I’m still having flashbacks of that terrible waterfall.

This will always be known throughout Florida State,
As the day of the first great dental Watergate.

RFK can keep his advice to himself,
From this day forward, Trail Mix stays on the shelf.

Not iambic pentameter but you get my point,
Surely the healthy choice that day, was the donut joint.

flag link

military_tech

thumb_down