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Mostly 'Dad Jokes' - Hump Day edition
Tiger Boards - The Amphitheatre
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Mostly 'Dad Jokes' - Hump Day edition

13

Apr 9, 2025, 7:02 AM
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Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands.

St. Francis worked at Krispy Kreme. He was a deep friar.

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's fine...he woke up!

Sarcasm: because torturing people in your basement is frowned upon. (No basement, either! :) )

I'm a member of C.S.I. Can't Stand Idiots.

Caffeine's kicking in...happy Wednesday, T-Net.

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Re: Mostly 'Dad Jokes' - Hump Day edition

11

Apr 9, 2025, 7:04 AM
Reply

What do you call a line of men waiting to get haircuts? A barber queue.

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What is the last thing that goes through a bugs mind as it hits a windshield?

12

Apr 9, 2025, 7:26 AM
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It’s butt

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“Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.” Isaac Asimov
Panta Rhei Heraclitus


What has two butts and kills people? An assassin

12

Apr 9, 2025, 7:44 AM
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Son: Dad, why is that ice cream truck going so fast?
Dad: Son, that's an ambulance.
Son: Well, they won't sell much ice cream driving that fast.

Is a dad bod really a father figure?

A son hands his dad his 50th birthday card. Dad says "You know son, one would have been enough"

I was interrogated about the theft of some cheese and bread. Man, they really grilled me.

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Re: Mostly 'Dad Jokes' - Hump Day edition

10

Apr 9, 2025, 8:06 AM
Reply

Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70? Because every time she gets to 69 she gets a little frog stuck in her throat.




A retired couple that had been married for 50 years was struggling to keep up the romance in their marriage after their looks had faded, their hair turning gray, their skin sagging, and their bodies becoming more tired. One day, they figured out a way to keep their love alive and well: They had a nightly ritual to eat dinner together completely naked.
One day, the wife told her husband, "This is really working because my tatas are so hot for you!" The husband replied, "I can see that, sweetheart!" The wife asked how he could see that, and the husband replied, "Well, one of your nipp1es is in your tea, and the other is in your soup!"

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I try to save a life a day, usually it is my own.


Re: Mostly 'Dad Jokes' - Hump Day edition

5

Apr 9, 2025, 8:40 AM
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+1 for the little frog.

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Re: Mostly 'Dad Jokes' - Hump Day edition

12

Apr 9, 2025, 8:07 AM
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the tug abides


Re: Mostly 'Dad Jokes' - Hump Day edition

12

Apr 9, 2025, 8:17 AM
Reply

I dreamed about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night.
It took me a while to figure out it was just a Fanta-sea!

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Re: Mostly 'Dad Jokes' - Hump Day edition

11

Apr 9, 2025, 8:20 AM
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How do trees access the internet?

They Log-in!

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Re: Mostly 'Dad Jokes' - Hump Day edition

9

Apr 9, 2025, 8:37 AM
Reply

How many animals did Moses take on the ark?
None - it was Noah’s ark.

What was Noah’s job?
He was an ark-itect.

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prettty good, lol.***

6

Apr 9, 2025, 9:11 AM
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Re: Mostly 'Dad Jokes' - Hump Day edition

7

Apr 9, 2025, 9:27 AM
Reply

When you get angry at someone, take a deep breath and count to 10. Throw a punch at 8. Nobody will expect that.

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Replies: 11
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