Re: Kick-Start the week with a Monday 'Dad Joke'...or a step above

Salty55® · 2025-03-03T13:00:59.481Z

So, Mr. Bossman told me I had NO PTO left. I said..."Fine...I'll use Ted's because if I'm gonna do his job, I should get his benefits, too!" The perfect couple is made up a a calm, caring man and a mentally unstable woman who is always right! (Yeah...not even I'm buying that!)

Jedi Kermit®

TigerNet Elite [71937]

TigerPulse: 100%

Posts: 6169

Joined: 2006

Mar 3, 2025, 8:37 AM

4 Nuns with a confession.

The first nun says: "Forgive me father, for I have sinned. Last night, a homeless man sought shelter in our walls, so we gave him a room and some new clothes. While he was changing, I peeked through the keyhole and I stared longingly at his naked body."

The priest says: "Do not be ashamed, my child. Say a Hail Mary, wash your eyes in the Holy water, and all will be forgiven."

The second nun says: "Forgive me father, for I have sinned. I snuck into the room and I massaged his naked body with my hand."

The priest says: "Do not be ashamed, child. Say a Hail Mary, wash your hands in the Holy water, and all will be forgiven."

The fourth nun cuts in front of the third nun. The third nun cuts back in front of the fourth nun, The fourth nun tries to cut in front of the third nun again and they get into a fist fight.

The priest sees the commotion and yells: "Sisters, stop this at once! What has come over you?!"

The fourth nun points to the third nun and says: "I want to gargle the Holy water before she washes her rear end with it!"

flag link

military_tech

thumb_down

thumb_up

I try to save a life a day, usually it is my own.

After finishing the 2nd grade, a little girl got bored at home and started hanging out with the construction workers building a house next door. She would sit with them at breaks and lunch and from time time to time they gave her small jobs to do. After the first week, they gave her a check for $10 for working. She was so excited and ran home to show her Mom.

Her Mom said we will go to the bank Monday so you can open a savings account. Monday came and the two of them went to the bank. Her Mom told the banker she earned the money working on a house and wanted to open a savings account. The banker opening the account said you're such a young girl to be working on new houses. Are you working there this week? The little girl said if f'ing Home Depot will deliver the f'ing sheet rock I will.

Kick-Start the week with a Monday 'Dad Joke'...or a step above

Perfect Joke for this morning:

Re: Perfect Joke for this morning:

Somebody "overswept". Salty?