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Replies: 19
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Ring of Honor [21907]
TigerPulse: 100%
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It's Monday...let 'Dad(ish) Jokes' kick start your week!
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Feb 17, 2025, 6:25 AM
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This is probably borderline, at best on the Dad Joke scale...selah!
This morning I was beaten up by a big busty woman in an elevator. Evidently, I was staring at her bewbs when she said, “Would you please press one?” So I did…don’t remember much after that…
A bit more in line:
My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon in the past 45 minutes, so Amazon sent a driver to see if she’s ok.
Definitely a Dad-ism...
Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
If they flew over the bay, they'd be called bagels. (Yes...groan-worthy!)
Have a great week, y'all! Always smile...try to laugh!
Message was edited by: Salty55®
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Clemson Icon [26944]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 2015
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Re: It's Monday...let 'Dad(ish) Jokes' kick start your week!
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Feb 17, 2025, 7:39 AM
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Haven’t chimed in on the dad jokes prior for their ‘salty-ness’…. For example, my idea of a dad joke was one I shared with my teenaged daughter 30 years ago:
Why are men better at pumping gas than women? Because they know how to shake the last few drops off the hose.
FYI: I personally think she deserves credit for inventing the OMG eyeroll emoji….. 😉
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Tiger Spirit [9189]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: It's Monday...let 'Dad(ish) Jokes' kick start your week!
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Feb 17, 2025, 7:44 AM
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Why will you never starve in the desert?
Because of the sand which is there.
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Orange Immortal [64959]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 2000
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How are a pizza delivery guy and a gynecologist alike?
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Feb 17, 2025, 8:19 AM
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They both get to smell it, but never taste it.
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Ultimate Tiger [33477]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: It's Monday...let 'Dad(ish) Jokes' kick start your week!
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Feb 17, 2025, 8:22 AM
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How do you tell the gender of an ant?
Put it in a glass of water.
If it sinks it's a girl ant. If it floats it's buoyant.
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Oculus Spirit [39326]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Posts: 33500
Joined: 2011
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What's Blue and not very heavy ?
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Feb 17, 2025, 8:57 AM
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Light Blue.
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TigerNet Elite [71982]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: It's Monday...let 'Dad(ish) Jokes' kick start your week!
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Feb 17, 2025, 9:05 AM
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How do you know when you’re staying in a Kentucky hotel? When you call
the front desk and say “I’ve got a leak in my sink,” and the person at the
front desk says, “Go ahead.”
Two Mississippians are walking toward each other, and one is carrying a
sack. When they meet, one says, “Hey Tommy Ray, whatcha got in th’bag?”
“Jes some chickens.” “If I guesses how many they is, kin I have one?”
“Shoot, if ya guesses right, I’ll give you both of 'em!” “OK.
Ummmmm…five?”
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Top TigerNet [31818]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Posts: 16402
Joined: 2015
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This is more dark humor than anything else...
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Feb 17, 2025, 9:22 AM
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What do Paul Walker and Betty white have in common?......
Both almost made it to 100...
Please don't ban me..
Crump®, B-Meist®
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Gridiron Giant [15972]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: It's Monday...let 'Dad(ish) Jokes' kick start your week!
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Feb 17, 2025, 9:42 AM
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I like it.
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Paw Master [17417]
TigerPulse: 100%
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What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall?
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Feb 17, 2025, 10:16 AM
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"###"!!!!!!!
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Paw Master [17417]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall?
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Feb 17, 2025, 10:21 AM
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Large, concrete structure that holds water back!!
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Ring of Honor [21907]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Game Changer [1649]
TigerPulse: 92%
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Re: It's Monday...let 'Dad(ish) Jokes' kick start your week!
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Feb 17, 2025, 1:53 PM
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I'm thankful that the first women was born the day before Christmas so we could have a Christmas Eve.
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Team Captain [481]
TigerPulse: 95%
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Re: It's Monday...let 'Dad(ish) Jokes' kick start your week!
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Feb 17, 2025, 2:21 PM
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What was the 1-legged man doing at the ATM?
Checking his balance.
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Head Coach [903]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: It's Monday...let 'Dad(ish) Jokes' kick start your week!
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Feb 17, 2025, 3:33 PM
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I saw a coot cheerleader so big her shadow left footprints on the sideline.
I saw a coot cheerleader so ugly Big Foot came out of the woods to take a picture of her.
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Letterman [175]
TigerPulse: 99%
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Re: It's Monday...let 'Dad(ish) Jokes' kick start your week!
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Feb 17, 2025, 3:41 PM
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Went to the doctor the other day. Doc said I was going blind. I just don't see it.
Went to the doctor the other day. Doc said I was going deaf. That was hard to hear.
Wife told me the other day that I needed a coffin. I said that's the last thing I need.
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Ultimate Tiger [33477]
TigerPulse: 100%
56
Posts: 14241
Joined: 2014
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Re: It's Monday...let 'Dad(ish) Jokes' kick start your week!
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Feb 17, 2025, 6:04 PM
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Nice.
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Ultimate Tiger [33726]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: It's Monday...let 'Dad(ish) Jokes' kick start your week!
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Feb 17, 2025, 6:16 PM
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Bewbs references requires a pic - you know the rules.
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Ring of Honor [21907]
TigerPulse: 100%
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There's always someone stirring the pot 'round here...but rulz are, so
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Feb 17, 2025, 8:14 PM
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Ultimate Tiger [33726]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: There's always someone stirring the pot 'round here...but rulz are, so
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Feb 17, 2025, 8:34 PM
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What’s she making? At my age, that is appealing.
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