Re: I almost forgot! Sunday 'Dad Jokes'!

Salty55® · 2025-06-29T13:02:02.401Z

Impressive turnout yesterday...thanks to all for your contributions, meaning, thanks for picking me up! Husband math: 1. Don't pay someone to do the job (How else do you learn?) 2. Buy 7 new tools (So?) 3. Take 5-7 business years to complete (depends) 4. At least 5 trips to Home Depot (that seems really light!) Seems like pretty solid math to me! Maybe some wiggle room, but on the whole.... The other side of the coin: I watched my wife panic, devastated when she broke a nail opening a can of soda! Unlike yesterday when she hit a curb in our new car going 40 mph and said, "Oopsies!" In closing, 'Life', please tithe ME! I've mastered broke people problems...so I'd like to move to the next level...please! Enjoy your awesome Sunday, Tiger Nation...and don't let thoughts of Monday dampen your mood!

MyfavOrange®

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Driver's License

Jun 29, 2025, 10:34 AM

A mother is driving her little girl to her friend's house for a play date.

' Mommy,' the little girl asks, 'how old are you?'

'Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age,' the mother replied.
'It's not polite.'

'OK', the little girl says,
'How much do you weigh?'

'Now really,' the mother says,
'Those are personal questions and are really none of your business.'

Undaunted, the little girl asks, 'Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?'

'That's enough questions, young lady! Honestly!'

The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.

' My Mom won't tell me anything about her,' the little girl says to her friend.

'Well,' says the friend,
'All you need to do is look at her driver's license.
It's like a report card; it has everything on it.'

Later that night the little girl says to her mother,
'I know how old you are. You are 32.'

The mother is surprised and asks,
'How did you find that out?

'I also know that you weigh 130 pounds.'

The mother is past surprised and shocked now.
'How in Heaven's name did you find that out?'

'And' the little girl says triumphantly,
'I know why you and daddy got a divorce.'

'Oh really?' the mother asks. 'Why?'

'Because you got an F in sex.'

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Interviewer: "How much amount of milk does your cow produce?". Farmer: "Which one, black one or white one?"
Interviewer: Black one
Farmer: 2 liters per day.
Interviewer: And the white one?
Farmer: 2 liters per day.
Interviewer: Where do they sleep?
Farmer: The black one or the White one?
Interviewer: The black one
Farmer: In the Barn
Interviewer: And the white one?
Farmer: In the Barn
Interviewer: Your cows look healthy...What do you feed them?
Farmer: Which one, the black one or the white one?
Interviewer: Black one
Farmer: Grass
Interviewer: And the white one
Farmer: Grass
Interviewer: (Getting Annoyed) But why do you keep on asking if black one or white one when answers are just the same??
Farmer: Because the black one is mine
Interviewer: And the white one?
Farmer: It's also mine.

Tourist: Look! A bunch of cows.
Cowboy: Not “bunch”—“herd.”
Tourist: Heard what?
Cowboy: Herd of cows.
Tourist: Sure, I’ve heard of cows.
Cowboy: No, a cow herd.
Tourist: That’s OK. I have no secrets to keep from cows!

Sorry, I may have milked this for what it is worth.

I almost forgot! Sunday 'Dad Jokes'!

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