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Friday 'Dad Joke'...you were warned!
Tiger Boards - Clemson Football
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Replies: 20
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Friday 'Dad Joke'...you were warned!

20

Jan 24, 2025, 7:13 AM
Reply

Two peanuts walk into a bar.

One is a salted. (A ten word joke... :) )

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LOl...I'm appalled***

12

Jan 24, 2025, 7:33 AM
Reply



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Even worse ...

13

Jan 24, 2025, 7:33 AM
Reply

Do you know why you never see elephants hiding in trees?

It’s because they’re so good at it.


How did I know my girlfriend thought I was invading her privacy?

She wrote about it in her diary.

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"When I was young, I was sure of many things; now there are only two things of which I am sure: one is, that I am a miserable sinner; and the other, that Christ is an all-sufficient Saviour. He is well-taught who learns these two lessons." -John Newton


Re: Even worse ...

11

Jan 24, 2025, 7:55 AM
Reply

Why are alligators flat?


Because sometimes the elephants fall out of trees

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“Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.” Isaac Asimov
Panta Rhei Heraclitus


We had a book of elephant jokes back in the 70s/80s

5

Jan 24, 2025, 9:08 AM
Reply

I wish I could remember even a fraction of them. I can only remember enough of most of them to know I don't remember enough of them to make it funny! So I'll spare you all!

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What did Tennessee..The same thing that Arkansas.***

3

Jan 24, 2025, 5:12 PM
Reply



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Re: Even worse ...

3

Jan 24, 2025, 12:10 PM [ in reply to Even worse ... ]
Reply

Why can't you find elephants in the jungle?

Because they hide in the cherry trees.

What is the loudest sound in the jungle?

Giraffes eating cherries.

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Re: You might be a redneck if

13

Jan 24, 2025, 8:03 AM
Reply

You have 10 cars in your yard, but the only thing mobile is your home.

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I try to save a life a day, usually it is my own.


Re: Friday 'Dad Joke'...you were warned!

14

Jan 24, 2025, 8:08 AM
Reply

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To go to the dummy’s house.


Knock, knock

Who’s there?

The chicken.

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lol***

9

Jan 24, 2025, 8:18 AM
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Re: Friday 'Dad Joke'...you were warned!

13

Jan 24, 2025, 8:22 AM
Reply

My friend is addicted to brake fluid, but says he can stop anytime.

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Re: Friday 'Dad Joke'...you were warned!

13

Jan 24, 2025, 9:02 AM
Reply

What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

Aye matey!

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What did the horse say when he tripped?

9

Jan 24, 2025, 10:26 AM
Reply

"HELP, I've fallen and I can't giddyup"!!!

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Re: Friday 'Dad Joke'...you were warned!

6

Jan 24, 2025, 10:46 AM
Reply

Was the assailant ever "Arroasted"??

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Re: Friday 'Dad Joke'...you were warned!

2

Jan 24, 2025, 11:41 AM
Reply

3 Nuns go to confession, 1st says I touched a man's crotch, Bishop says wash your hands in the holy water and say 3 hail Mary's. The 2 Nun says to the 3rd Nun, you go first and 3rd nun says why. 2 nun says I'm not putting that holy water in my mouth after your butt has been in it.

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Cows....

5

Jan 24, 2025, 12:13 PM
Reply

When my kid's were little any time we were driving and I saw a bunch of cows I would always say: Look a flock of cows!

One of the kids inevitably said: Herd of cows dad

Me: Of course I’ve heard of them, there’s a flock of them right over there!

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Two peanuts walk out of a bar.

6

Jan 24, 2025, 3:29 PM
Reply

Both are roasted.

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Re: Friday 'Dad Joke'...you were warned!

4

Jan 24, 2025, 3:48 PM
Reply

Three moles tunneling through the ground. 1st mole says, “I smell honey”. 2nd mole says,“I smell honey”. 3rd mole says,”All I smell is molasses”.

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If it ain"t broke, fix it 'til it is.


Re: Friday 'Dad Joke'...you were warned!

3

Jan 24, 2025, 5:52 PM
Reply

What's the name of a monster that also dances?.........A Boogie Man!

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Why can't dinosaurs clap their hands?

4

Jan 24, 2025, 4:47 PM
Reply

Because they are extinct!

BaZinga!

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How do you keep Gamecocks out of your yard?
• Put up goal posts
What does a Gamecock grad call a Clemson Tiger grad in 2 years?
• Boss


For the Math crowd, if your house is cold then....

6

Jan 24, 2025, 4:49 PM
Reply

go stand in the corner. It is always 90 degrees there!

BaZinga!

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How do you keep Gamecocks out of your yard?
• Put up goal posts
What does a Gamecock grad call a Clemson Tiger grad in 2 years?
• Boss


Replies: 20
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Tiger Boards - Clemson Football
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