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Orange Elite [5297]
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Dumb corporate-speak thread of the week.
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Sep 17, 2024, 3:34 PM
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Please don't ask me if I "have the bandwidth" to tackle something for you this week. I'm not a router.
Please don't say you want to "loop me in" to some Slack thread or other conversation. I'm not a steer.
And, adjacent to that, please don't @ me with a question mark in every (e.g. "@A1ASauce?") dern Slack thread you think I need to address. I'm not a mod.
TYTIA.
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CU Medallion [20819]
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Re: Dumb corporate-speak thread of the week.
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Sep 17, 2024, 3:44 PM
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Meh…let me see what my Slack has …
Yeah …it has “bandwidth” but that doesn’t bother me as seems like it has been used forever.
I sometimes get annoyed with the variations of “going into detail” such as “double click” these days and “peel the onion” from years ago.
The worst today concerns people and their “work flow”. #### you people and your “work flow”…it’s just “work”. You add the flow to make you think your life sucks less, but it still sucks.
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Valley Legend [12879]
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Re: Dumb corporate-speak thread of the week.
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Sep 17, 2024, 4:03 PM
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enterprise approach creating synergies
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Heisman Winner [80465]
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You can't put my picture here
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Sep 17, 2024, 7:17 PM
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I was once banned (then rescinded) for for posting a photo of BBO.
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Orange Elite [5297]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Yaaas on ***enterprise***
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Sep 18, 2024, 12:52 PM
[ in reply to Re: Dumb corporate-speak thread of the week. ] |
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Or 'enterprise-wide' --- pffuuuuuhhh...just say "business."
"We're making everyone in the company start using Slack" now becomes
"We're deploying the Slack messaging app enterprise-wide and will ask all stakeholders and associates to begin implementing it into their daily workflow."
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CU Medallion [18218]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 2006
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I know youre frustrated right now,
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Sep 17, 2024, 4:04 PM
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so let’s table this discussion and circle back to this later.
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Ultimate Tiger [33414]
TigerPulse: 100%
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I'm not sure I know what your 'ask' is with this post...
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Sep 17, 2024, 7:07 PM
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And I'm not sure if a 30,000 foot overview will clear it up. I'll loop you in when I think being disruptive in the workplace will help and I am sure I will get an act your wage very soon. Don't boil the ocean and let it become a pain point for you.
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CU Medallion [18218]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 2006
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ha
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Sep 17, 2024, 7:12 PM
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Pain point ftw
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Orange Elite [5297]
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Tiger Spirit [9418]
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All-In [10847]
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Re: Dumb corporate-speak thread of the week.
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Sep 17, 2024, 4:19 PM
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You need to take this conversation offline!
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TigerNet Elite [70579]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 2001
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I HATE group texts
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Sep 18, 2024, 1:05 PM
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where it is basically a conversation between two people. Exactly! Take it elsewhere.
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Fan [34]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Dumb corporate-speak thread of the week.
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Sep 17, 2024, 4:20 PM
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Here are my "favorites" that have recently infected my office:
"There is no need to boil the ocean here."
"Let's regroup offline," said while at an in-person meeting with no online presence.
"Look at it from a 30,000-ft view."
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Legend [6805]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Dumb corporate-speak thread of the week.
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Sep 17, 2024, 4:43 PM
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My least favorite new speak is “ideate”. You’re just thinking about stuff. You are not ideating anything. I despise corporate speak.
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Top TigerNet [31003]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 2007
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Re: Dumb corporate-speak thread of the week.
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Sep 17, 2024, 5:30 PM
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I still have a flip phone so I never have to worry about these type of conversations.
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Orange Elite [5297]
TigerPulse: 100%
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110%er [3693]
TigerPulse: 100%
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you need to "re-up" your "synergy"
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Sep 17, 2024, 5:58 PM
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/rē-ŭp′/
intransitive verb
1. To initiate re-supply of da crack vials you be sellin' on the corner. h/t "Clockers" by Richard Price
2. military re-enlistment.
/sĭn′ər-jē/
noun
1650s, "cooperation" (a sense now obsolete), from Modern Latin synergia, from Greek synergia "joint work, a working together, cooperation; assistance, help," from synergos "working together," related to synergein "work together, help another in work," from syn- "together" (see syn-) + ergon "work" (from PIE root *werg- "to do").
The meaning in physiology, "correlation or concourse of action between different organs," is attested by 1847; hence, via the notion of "combined activities of a group," the meaning "advanced effectiveness as a result of cooperation" (by 1957, often associated with Buckminster Fuller).
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Orange Elite [5297]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Thanks for leveling-up the thread.
Sep 18, 2024, 12:55 PM
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Clemson Conqueror [11547]
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Thank you for that***
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Sep 17, 2024, 6:37 PM
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All-Pro [753]
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Re: Dumb corporate-speak thread of the week.
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Sep 17, 2024, 7:04 PM
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Let's proactively parking lot this until we can run it up the flag pole.
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Game Changer [2017]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Dumb corporate-speak thread of the week.
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Sep 17, 2024, 7:40 PM
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Haha, I think I heard this spoken by a human in a live meeting !
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Orange Elite [5297]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Was that before or after they put a pin in it?
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Sep 18, 2024, 12:56 PM
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Hall of Famer [8241]
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Re: Dumb corporate-speak thread of the week.
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Sep 17, 2024, 7:37 PM
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Not to put the cart before the horse, but we need to regroup with the key role players in the situation and figure out what partnerships create the best synergies in order to peel back the onion and laser focus on the root cause of the client-facing challenges
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Game Changer [2017]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Dumb corporate-speak thread of the week.
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Sep 17, 2024, 7:42 PM
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Make sure you tackle the long pole in the tent first. Yeesh, just realized hope creepy that sounds, haha.
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Game Changer [2017]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Dumb corporate-speak thread of the week.
Sep 17, 2024, 7:43 PM
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How, not hope… DYAC!
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Orange Elite [5297]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Cringe***
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Sep 18, 2024, 12:58 PM
[ in reply to Re: Dumb corporate-speak thread of the week. ] |
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And let's not forget the big tent corollary to it: "Let's big-tent this and pull some other folks in for an ideation session."
Just say "let's ask some other people about this."
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Ultimate Tiger [34532]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Orange Elite [5297]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Hopefully not the dreaded round file, tho***
1
Sep 18, 2024, 12:59 PM
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TigerNet Elite [70579]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Dumb corporate-speak thread of the week.
Sep 18, 2024, 1:00 PM
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I believe you have legitimate gripe, don't you A1ASauce®?
And, while we are griping, I HATE regular questions or regular statements in texts and/or Slack with more that one '?' or one '!'
Following to circle back.
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Orange Elite [5297]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Is this what you mean??!
Sep 18, 2024, 3:02 PM
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Offensive Star [340]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Dumb corporate-speak thread of the week.
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Sep 18, 2024, 2:03 PM
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You all are Rock Stars!!
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Orange Elite [5297]
TigerPulse: 100%
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I really like how this thread scaled.
Sep 25, 2024, 2:13 PM
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Associate AD [1052]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Dumb corporate-speak thread of the week.
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Sep 25, 2024, 2:20 PM
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I'm gonna circle back to reading this thread at the appropriate time in my journey.
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Orange Elite [5297]
TigerPulse: 100%
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...and continues to scale.
Sep 25, 2024, 2:31 PM
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If there's one thing about a thread, it's that it should convene conversations that scale.
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CU Medallion [20819]
TigerPulse: 100%
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and it does not appear to be a heavy lift to keep it scaling***
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Sep 26, 2024, 12:04 AM
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CU Medallion [18603]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 2016
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Re: Dumb corporate-speak thread of the week.
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Sep 25, 2024, 6:35 PM
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Don't tell me it's broken without telling me how to fix it. Be part of the solution, not the problem.
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Game Day Hero [4400]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Dumb corporate-speak thread of the week.
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Sep 26, 2024, 5:47 AM
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Give me solutions people, not problems! I don't want to hear about problems!
Lets table this until another time.
We can take it offline and discuss it later.
Pet Peeve - People replying to all telling people to not reply to all!
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Orange Elite [5297]
TigerPulse: 100%
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New one today: "Let's surface this in another thread."
Sep 26, 2024, 2:18 PM
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Visions of Red October bursting forth from the deep blue sea.
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Orange Elite [5297]
TigerPulse: 100%
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