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Tiger Titan [48917]
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Double parkers
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Jan 29, 2025, 7:57 AM
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So I stopped in for my usual breakfast today, at a place where parking is very limited, and there's an old Ford Ranger taking up two spots. Not like a "oops, I didn't realize I did that" kinda job but a "go #### yourself, I do what I want" kinda blatancy. I saw the culprit as he left; he was a old dude with a shit-eating grin.
Yesterday, at the Park West Publix shopping center, which is where all humanity goes to die, there was a similar job. Just an absolute #### you parking job.
So I've never had a chance to talk to someone about their #### parking jobs (not really big on walking up to strangers and having conversations like that) or how their minds work, so I thought I'd throw it to the Lunge People's Court:
When it comes to double parking (choose yours)...
A. I never do it, and if I do by accident, I get back in my car and correct it.
B. I know it's wrong and I never try to do it, but sometimes it happens on accident when I'm in a hurry. I'm only gonna be inside for a minute, anyway...
C. I don't trust all these other idiots so I double park so my ride doesn't get scuffed or dinged.
D. I double park if I want to because I can do whatever the hell I want. What's the big deal? Go find another spot.
E. Parking spots are The Man trying to regulate us and keep us down. I'm fighting the power.
F. Sorry, guys. I'm just a ###### driver.
And if there is a secret fraternity or society of double parkers who are going to get really mad over this post, I apologize in advance.
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Ultimate Clemson Legend [103715]
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Like Alan Jackson said
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Jan 29, 2025, 7:59 AM
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I was willing, but she wasn't ready.
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Ultimate Tiger [37901]
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Double parkers were hazed as children***
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Jan 29, 2025, 8:08 AM
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Ultimate Clemson Legend [108939]
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I never do it. Period. End of story.
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Jan 29, 2025, 8:10 AM
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As a side note, I also always push my buggy back to the buggy return. AND, I straighten up the buggies if they're in disarray so more can fit in.
I can't help entitled #########. I can only be responsible for me.
And yes, I call them buggies.
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Ultimate Tiger [33396]
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Re: I never do it. Period. End of story.
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Jan 29, 2025, 8:18 AM
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It astonishes me that there are people that are so lazy that they can't correctly put a buggy into the return spot.
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Oculus Spirit [43721]
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It's one of the better litmus tests of human decency.
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Jan 29, 2025, 8:29 AM
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I don't even do it for the people parking, which drives me up a wall when I pull into a space and there's a car there. I do it for the poor souls busting carts. At grocery stores they're often the mentally handicap folks who need a job, and effin' a if you're the type of person to make their life more difficult. I'm not normally a DP dude, but right to the gas chamber for the cart leavers.
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Ultimate Tiger [33396]
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Re: It's one of the better litmus tests of human decency.
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Jan 29, 2025, 8:38 AM
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Should be shot, killed, and buried alive
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TigerNet Legend [147662]
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So, instead of leaving it in the parking lot, you consciously move the cart
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Jan 29, 2025, 9:59 AM
[ in reply to It's one of the better litmus tests of human decency. ] |
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into a large pile of them creating a terrible eyesore instead of loading up that used car and driving it to the landfill for proper disposal like a responsible citizen of this fragile planet. Shame on you! You're worse than the cart leavers I say!!!
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Tiger Titan [48917]
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TigerNet Champion [118334]
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Oculus Spirit [43721]
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YES.***
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Jan 29, 2025, 8:42 AM
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Clemson Icon [27527]
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Re: I never do it. Period. End of story.
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Jan 29, 2025, 10:33 AM
[ in reply to I never do it. Period. End of story. ] |
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I take my cart back, but I don't think about fixing those not in there.
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Ultimate Clemson Legend [108939]
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I do it for two reasons. One, more buggies can be returned and
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Jan 29, 2025, 11:39 AM
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two, it helps the employee who eventually has to come out there and take everything back inside.
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Orange Phenom [14372]
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sometimes i will find buggies on sidewalks with all sort
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Jan 29, 2025, 10:55 AM
[ in reply to I never do it. Period. End of story. ] |
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of stuff in them, like sleeping bags, blankets etc and I'm like "what is all this" and I empty it out and return it to the closest grocery
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Ultimate Tiger [33396]
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Re: Double parkers
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Jan 29, 2025, 8:15 AM
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Is this coded language about butt stuff?
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Oculus Spirit [43721]
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Everything on here is.
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Jan 29, 2025, 8:23 AM
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That's why APM had to take a break. With his psych background he was like Neo reading an alan matrix and eventually had to tap out.
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Ultimate Tiger [33396]
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Re: Double parkers
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Jan 29, 2025, 8:21 AM
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I don't drive much anymore, but when I do I generally park towards the back of the parking lot and no double parking.
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Clemson Sports Icon [58084]
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Definitely A here
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Jan 29, 2025, 8:21 AM
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I don't think I've ever done it by accident either. There have been times when I've parked, gotten out of the car, looked at it and said "hmmmm, not great" and get back in the car to get it more centered in the spot. I don't know if that is me trying to 'do the right thing' or just my OCD taking over.
I will say if it is a big parking lot and there are plenty of spots available and they park away from everything, take up as many spots as you want. The double parkers like the ones you described, they can go fuckk themselves. I do think a lot of it is people that are just bad drivers. Not the ones that are half and half in two spaces so that they can protect their ride, I'm talking about the ones that are a foot over into the space next to them. My facebook is littered with posts making fun of these people.
Oh, and don't get me started on the grocery cart lazies that are too special to take their cart back to the cart rack.
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Game Changer [1787]
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Re: Double parkers
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Jan 29, 2025, 8:22 AM
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Never do it. In fact, I'm the guy the looks to see if I'm too close to either side of the space and re-park if so. I also make sure my "buggy" is in the buggy coral.
I think we've already established that Publix shoppers are A-holes. so there's that.
I have seen people with really high end cars that will double park so that nobody opens a door on it. And if it is out of the way of all the other spaces, I get it. I also believe that people that own these luxury automobiles park them incorrectly so they can hear the announcement, "Will the owner of the Lamborghini please move their car?"
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Heisman Winner [81671]
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I'll admit it is mostly A with a little bit of F.
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Jan 29, 2025, 8:24 AM
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There are still times I miss judge the turning radius of the truck usually ending up too far right. Somehow I always end up parking poorly when dropping off my recycling at Trailblazer park in TR. I think this is usually because I'm dodging other vehicles with drivers too lazy to walk a few feet thus just park in the road beside the bins.
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Oculus Spirit [43721]
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I have a saying when I walk through the parking lot.
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Jan 29, 2025, 8:27 AM
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If you're not good enough to park a big truck you don't need to be driving it. So I appreciate folks like you who fix the job. And I'm doubly impressed at the guys who can back into a space in one smooth attempt.
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Heisman Winner [81671]
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I am impressed with those than can back in using mirrors.
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Jan 29, 2025, 8:36 AM
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Especially in the bigger HD trucks. I will say I got pretty good at parallel parking in Charleston when I had to every day I was home from 2010 to 2014, but that was a Camry.
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Oculus Spirit [43721]
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Re: Double parkers
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Jan 29, 2025, 8:25 AM
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Absolutely not. And if you don't hit the space right the first time, you do what you need to do to get yourself sorted between the lines before you leave it. It is a particular fetish of mine to catch culprits as they're walking back and give their parking job a long bertstare as I walk by. So they know that I know they're terrible people.
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Clemson Sports Icon [58053]
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Woah woah woah The Dude made.....
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Jan 29, 2025, 8:37 AM
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a birdie from the Men's tee box.
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Top TigerNet [28065]
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Im in the A category
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Jan 29, 2025, 8:42 AM
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But I will tolerate the C category if it’s a premium ride and they did it at the very back end of a mostly empty parking lot, which is how I normally see that.
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Oculus Spirit [43721]
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Yep. C is only permissible under such very, very narrow circumstances.***
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Jan 29, 2025, 8:44 AM
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All-Time Great [90838]
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This is what happens when we double our local population with immigrants
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Jan 29, 2025, 8:45 AM
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from the 4 worst states in the nation: OH, NJ, NY, and PA.
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Oculus Spirit [43721]
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THEY'RE EATING OUR PARKING SPACES.***
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Jan 29, 2025, 8:46 AM
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Valley Legend [12278]
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backer up-ers
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Jan 29, 2025, 10:30 AM
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ugh
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Top TigerNet [30277]
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A
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Jan 29, 2025, 10:40 AM
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kind of related, me and my dad bros got a game going where we guess the driver of who parked in the handicap spot at daycare
interestingly enough, there's a very common theme with the drivers.
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All-TigerNet [5737]
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Equally as awful... back in parkers***
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Jan 29, 2025, 10:41 AM
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Tiger Titan [48917]
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I'll push back here...
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Jan 29, 2025, 10:49 AM
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With current parking assists on most vehicles, this has become a lot easier, and I find they tend to double park less. If you drive a pickup truck, especially extended cab, you find out real quick why it's easier to do this than the other way around.
But I agree with you if it takes them longer to back in than it would to back out.
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All-TigerNet [5737]
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The problem is when you have said large truck you usually have large
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Jan 29, 2025, 10:57 AM
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side mirrors, which make it next to impossible for backseat riders to get out of the car you park next to.
When you have a large truck, you should park it away from everyone else like I do.
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All-Time Great [90838]
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umm yeah. I'm gonna go ahead and disagree here
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Jan 29, 2025, 10:53 AM
[ in reply to Equally as awful... back in parkers*** ] |
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I drive a truck. It doesn't go in today's mini spaces head first. If it takes me and extra 13 seconds to back in, perhaps go down another row if that time is slowing down your day.
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All-TigerNet [5737]
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As I explained above, it ain't about the timing it's the fact that the people
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Jan 29, 2025, 11:00 AM
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you parked your giant ### side mirrors next to can't in or out of their car.
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Tiger Titan [48917]
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A lot of the modern mirrors retract. Mine do, and I pull em in when it's tight.***
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Jan 29, 2025, 11:19 AM
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All-Time Great [90838]
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All-TigerNet [5737]
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Yup and if I can't squeeze into a spot the way the lord intended
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Jan 29, 2025, 11:41 AM
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I park far away and walk
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Ultimate Tiger [33396]
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Orange Immortal [66767]
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Re: Don't you have a Tahoe, or Suburban or something like that?***
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Jan 29, 2025, 11:54 AM
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Oculus Spirit [43721]
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Ultimate Tiger [33396]
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Re: Don't you have a Tahoe, or Suburban or something like that?***
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Jan 29, 2025, 1:43 PM
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Put your helmet on and get in little Gavin. We don't want you to be late for your first day of tenth grade.
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Top TigerNet [30277]
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All-TigerNet [5737]
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Valley Legend [12278]
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Heisman Winner [80889]
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Top TigerNet [30277]
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i pretty much have to back in
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Jan 29, 2025, 11:12 AM
[ in reply to Equally as awful... back in parkers*** ] |
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unless it's a diagonal spot.
I put tires on my truck that rub if I cut it too hard going forward haha
prepneck AFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
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Orange Immortal [66767]
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LOL at all the suckers ITT returning my cart and not scratching my ride.***
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Jan 29, 2025, 10:42 AM
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Orange Phenom [14755]
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I'm a solid "A" and despise those that don't park between
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Jan 29, 2025, 10:46 AM
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the lines.
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Clemson Icon [26945]
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Fun Clemson parking story.
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Jan 29, 2025, 11:09 AM
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Early one morning, someone double parked. I slid in on his driver side... like where I had to stop before my mirror hit his. About an inch between my mirror and his door.
About 8 hours later I decided I would work from home. Walked out to the lot and someone did the same thing on the passenger side.
The cars on either side of us gave us room, and the same with the people beside them. It was like everyone saw what we did and tried to help each other out to screw that one guy.
I decided I could work on campus for several more hours. I finally left at midnight. The car on the passenger side was gone, but the double Parker was still there.
Tldr... everyone banded together to screw a double parker.
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Tiger Titan [48917]
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Re: Fun Clemson parking story.
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Jan 29, 2025, 11:22 AM
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All-Time Great [88744]
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Maybe an A.5 - occasionally I'll go on a line if the person next to me is
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Jan 29, 2025, 11:25 AM
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also terribly parked, and usually only if it's for a quick stop.
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Orange Blooded [2425]
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A
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Jan 29, 2025, 12:05 PM
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My general policy in life is to be predictable and considerate towards others.
I'm a huge dicckhead, too, with arguable personality disorders and self-centeredness that many people can't fathom, and even I'm capable of doing things like parking correctly, putting my shopping cart back, not standing/walking in the middle of sidewalks, etc..
So I often wonder what it says about people who can't or won't.
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TigerNet Immortal [176659]
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Is there a letter lower than A?
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Jan 29, 2025, 1:19 PM
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like Negative A: I never, ever do it because I'm a competent driver with eyes that work and spatial awareness.
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Clemson Conqueror [12056]
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A - never do it. Ever.
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Jan 29, 2025, 2:10 PM
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Typically I back in (because I can and it proves I'm better than anyone who doesn't), usually get pretty well centered in the spot in one shot. But I'm not above centering back up if I miss the mark.
Seems like I'm adding an "I'm a good human being" to my "I'm better than you" when I do that...
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TigerNet Immortal [176659]
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Man, I totally thought you were a white dude.***
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Jan 29, 2025, 4:27 PM
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Tiger Titan [48917]
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Sittin' here noticing who ain't replyin'...
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Jan 29, 2025, 4:24 PM
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Some folks I woulda guessed are double parkers...
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Orange Immortal [66767]
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BTW, that's not really what double parking is, is it? I always thought double
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Jan 29, 2025, 5:51 PM
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parking was like actually blocking someone in - either parking behind them in a pull-in spot, or pinning them between you and the curb if you are parallel parked.
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Tiger Spirit [9923]
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Same. I've always thought what Cata is describing is just "taking up two spots."***
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Jan 29, 2025, 5:57 PM
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All-Time Great [88744]
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Agreed, but went with his context.***
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Jan 29, 2025, 6:01 PM
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Orange Immortal [64205]
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yeah, today I learned a completely new definition of "double parking"
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Jan 29, 2025, 6:12 PM
[ in reply to BTW, that's not really what double parking is, is it? I always thought double ] |
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not parking between the lines or taking two spots is not what I always defined as Double Parking, which to me is parking in the street beside a parallel parked car, pinning it in.
I mostly see this one with Porsches or other high-end sports cars parked on the far side of the lot, for "protection", I would guess. Doesn't really bother me that much it's so far away.
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TigerNet Eternal Icon [187981]
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A
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Jan 29, 2025, 7:40 PM
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and buggy putter backer.
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