Re: Chuckle time...Dad Joke Friday-style!

Salty55® · 2025-05-30T12:56:29.603Z

Well...at least chuckle at those I set the table for! Works for me! I asked my date to meet me at the gym, but she never showed up. I guess the two of us aren't going ot work out! Want to hear a joke about paper? Never mind...it's tearable! (I groaned...usually do!) Sometimes I want to throw cow poop at people to fertilize them so they'll grow up! My boss said to me, in order to focus, I should leave my problems at the door. Now he's ticked off at me because he's locked outside! Take it away, Jokesters! Go Tigers...go all Peyton...'Omaha...Omaha!'

TinFoilHat

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May 30, 2025, 1:18 PM

A man decided he was going to head down to the local bar for the very first time. He was going to be bringing his very well-trained monkey.

When they walked through the doors of the bar, the bartender immediately shouted , “Hey, you can’t bring that monkey in here.” The guy replied no, you don’t understand. This is my pet monkey. He’s very well trained.” The bartender paused for a moment and he thought about it. He said, “ I’m going to give you guys one shot.

The first sign of any funny business, and you’re both out of here.” The guy smiled and walked in with his monkey beside him. They sat at the bar, and the man ordered a beer and he ordered a martini for his monkey.

The folks in the bar couldn’t believe their eyes , a monkey sitting at the bar drinking a martini. “Wow,” they said.

A little bit while later, a game of pool was being played across the bar. In a quick instant, the monkey jolted out of his seat and ran across the bar top, jumping onto the pool table, he grabbed the cue ball, and swallowed it whole.

The bartender shouted, “ I knew that monkey was trouble. You’re both out of here.” The man held his head in shame with the monkey in hand and walked out quietly.

A few months went by, and to the bartender’s surprise. The man showed back up with his monkey beside him. He pleaded with the bartender, promised him up and down, “ You will have no trouble with my monkey ever again. I promise.” He learned his lesson and I have trained him much better now.

The bartender paused, and since it was a slow night, he figured what the heck. He smiled and said, “Come on in, the man sat down and order himself a beer and a martini for his monkey.

The pair sat at the bar and enjoyed their drinks. Just after the monkey finished his martini, the bartender sat a bowl of peanuts on the bar top.

The monkey looked confused, and in an instant, he jumped up onto the bar, laid on his back, grabbed a single peanut, shoved it up his butt, pulled it back out, and then ate it.

The bartender shouted, “That’s disgusting. That’s the nastiest thing I’ve ever seen. You guys gotta get out of here.”

The man looked awkwardly calm and simply said, “Yeah, he is a little weird, ever since he swallowed that cue ball. He measures everything first before he eats it.”

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Chuckle time...Dad Joke Friday-style!