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Another Monday 'Dad Joke'...need more coffee...
Tiger Boards - Clemson Football
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Replies: 9
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Another Monday 'Dad Joke'...need more coffee...

17

Mar 24, 2025, 8:18 AM
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Buying my wife a matching belt and bag for her birthday. We'll have that vacuum cleaner working again in no time!


My wife must really miss me today. She just texted me, "Wish you were here."
She does that every time she walks through a cemetery. :(


A priest, a rabbit and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbit, "What'll you have?"
The rabbit says, "I dunno...I'm only here because of Autocorrect."

(Coffee, remember? ;) )


Slay the week, T-Net. Get the most out of it!

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Re: Another Monday 'Dad Joke'...need more coffee...

11

Mar 24, 2025, 8:22 AM
Reply

My toes are 'legendary' and my fingers are 'armendary'!

Most people can't tell the difference between 'entomology' and 'etymology'. I can't find the words for how much this bugs me. :0)

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Re: Another Monday 'Dad Joke'...need more coffee...

10

Mar 24, 2025, 8:23 AM
Reply

What is Peter Pan’s favorite place to eat out?
Wendy’s.

Why did the mermaid wear seashells?
She outgrew her b-shells.

Why is a one-night stand with a man like a snowstorm?
You never know how long it’ll last.

A couple were snuggling and his wife said softly, “Speaking of fantasies, how about the one of you ironing?”

What do you play with at night that also vibrates?
A cell phone.

Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg?
Because they won't stop to ask for directions.

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I try to save a life a day, usually it is my own.


How do get into a locked bathroom?

8

Mar 24, 2025, 8:40 AM
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With a doo-key

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“Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.” Isaac Asimov
Panta Rhei Heraclitus


lol***

7

Mar 24, 2025, 8:46 AM
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I don't like cutting corners, but it's the only way to make a circle.

8

Mar 24, 2025, 8:54 AM
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What do you call a cow with…

No legs? Ground beef.

One leg? Stake.

Two legs? Side of beef.

Three legs? Lean beef.

Four legs? Whole beef.

Five legs? GMO.

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Re: Another Monday 'Dad Joke'...need more coffee...

7

Mar 24, 2025, 9:03 AM
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How does a hippie polygamist count his wives?

1 Mrs. Hippie, 2 Mrs. Hippie, 3 Mrs. Hippie...

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Well done, Rhett...

6

Mar 24, 2025, 9:31 AM
Reply

You ticked all the 'dad joke' boxes right there! :)

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Re: Another Monday 'Dad Joke'...need more coffee...

5

Mar 24, 2025, 11:06 AM
Reply

A buddy of mine built a wooden car. The entire car was wooden. Wooden tires, wooden frame, wooden engine. The only problem was it wooden crank.

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Why can't dinosaurs clap their hands?

6

Mar 24, 2025, 12:46 PM
Reply

Because they're extinct.


What's blue and not very heavy? Light blue.

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Replies: 9
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Tiger Boards - Clemson Football
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