‘DEAR BUBBA’: Don Watson isn’t shy about poking fun at those Carolina Gamecocks, and after reading a mom’s letter making the Internet rounds, he’s certain Bubba comes from a Gamecock family. The letter reads,
“Dear Bubba, I’m writing this slow because I know you can’t read fast. We don’t live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 miles of your house, so we moved right away. I won’t be able to send you the address of our new home because the last family that lived here took the house numbers with them when they moved. They didn’t want to have to change their address. This new place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, but I’m not sure about it. I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain. We haven’t seen them since. The weather isn’t bad here. It only rained twice last week, the first time for four days and the second time for three days. About that coat you wanted me to send to you, your brother, Billy Bob, said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. Billy Bob locked his keys in the car yesterday. It took him two hours to get me and your dad out. Your sister had a baby this morning, but I haven’t found out what it is yet so I don’t know if you are an aunt or uncle. Your Uncle Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated. He burned for three days. Three of your friends drove a truck off a bridge. The driver rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn’t get the tailgate down. There isn’t much more news at this time. Nothing much out of the normal has happened. Love, Mom.”
OMG, I think they are my new neighbors that just moved in a few weeks ago. They ask if I could cut their grass and they would pay me for doing it. Their mower blade had worn down until it was no bigger than the nut that is in the middle of the blade. They said they hated to bother me but, they didn't have the money to buy a new mower right now.