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Replies: 72
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All-Time Great [92655]
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Tough times on personal front
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Sep 18, 2025, 9:54 PM
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97 year old mother in last stages in Hospice care. The closer the time gets, it seems thoughts turn more to times when I could have been a better son. I suppose that is not rare in times like this?
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Solid Orange [1343]
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 18, 2025, 9:57 PM
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97 is fantastic. Mine made 91 to the day. Prayers up amigo.
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Top TigerNet [30994]
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 18, 2025, 9:57 PM
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I lost my Mom a few weeks ago and I think about that stuff all of the time. I am jealous you got so many extra years. Anyway, sorry you are going through this.
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Top TigerNet [30994]
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 18, 2025, 9:58 PM
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My Mom died a couple days short of 81. She was fine and then contracted Pneumonia and died. About 3 weeks ago.
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Recruit [61]
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 19, 2025, 10:23 AM
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My Mom died a couple days short of 81. She was fine and then contracted Pneumonia and died. About 3 weeks ago.
I’m very sorry. God bless you and your family. Sudden loss of a loved one is never easy. I’ve been through a lot of that in my life.
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TigerNet Elite [72603]
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All-In [10708]
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 18, 2025, 9:58 PM
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Not at all. I think we all feel like that when that time comes, especially those we love the most. Forgiveness is a blessing and that applies to ourselves as well. Focusing on the good and being better every day is the best we can do. No changing the past. Prayers for your mother.
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Dynasty Maker [3147]
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 18, 2025, 10:04 PM
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Not rare at all. I would hope most folks think that way.
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Game Day Hero [4177]
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 18, 2025, 10:07 PM
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My mother passed away at the age of 49. I often think about how much easier I could have made her life, had she lived longer. I’ll never shake those thoughts.
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Heisman Winner [83822]
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Nah. Moms understand and are built for their role there.
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Sep 18, 2025, 10:09 PM
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It's the girls that make a mother long for better, 😬
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Orange Blooded [2532]
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 18, 2025, 10:27 PM
[ in reply to Re: Tough times on personal front ] |
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There is time for forgiveness in burning everything in your possession relating to GEORGIA! 🤮
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Dynasty Maker [3459]
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 19, 2025, 7:42 AM
[ in reply to Re: Tough times on personal front ] |
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u r 4 given ... 4 give yourself and all those that need forgiveness from you. God is love and God loves you and all who repent find abundant life in Christ.
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Clemson Icon [25427]
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 20, 2025, 12:59 AM
[ in reply to Re: Tough times on personal front ] |
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Will have you on my thoughts and prayers. Guilt can be a painful part of our lives. I pray God will take that guilt away. I am very sure you were a great Son while your mom was alive.
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Team Captain [478]
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 18, 2025, 10:15 PM
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I too am a U.S. ARMY Veteran probably not as decorated as you. I lost my Mamma five years ago when she was 97. Hang in there and relish the good memories of your Mom.
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Clemson Icon [24058]
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 18, 2025, 10:15 PM
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Prayers for all 🙏
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Clemson Sports Icon [56788]
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 18, 2025, 10:16 PM
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My mother passed five years ago at age 94, and I still think about times that maybe I wasn't as patient as I should have been. I think it's normal to have the feelings you're having, but your mom only remembers your love for her.
Praying for you and your mother during this difficult time.
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Dynasty Maker [3147]
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 18, 2025, 10:40 PM
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Regarding your comment about patience and I find myself there too. I work in a fast paced - now environment and I struggle with that patience with my Mom.
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Top TigerNet [28410]
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 18, 2025, 10:22 PM
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Mine is 90 and I moved her from Atlanta to Scottsdale and assisted living in April. I have the same thoughts because I’m not as patient as I’d like to be. I’m an only child so handling all of the details has been exhausting.
We’ve had some challenges in our relationship so I’m trying to make up for lost time. Like you, I never really feel like I’m making much progress.
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Hall of Famer [8323]
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 18, 2025, 10:31 PM
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Thoughts and prayers for you and your mother. Your thoughts are normal, I believe we have all had them. 97 sounds like a full life. 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
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Clemson Sports Icon [54041]
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So sorry you are going through this.
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Sep 18, 2025, 10:35 PM
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Prayers for you and yours.
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Game Day Hero [4488]
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 18, 2025, 10:39 PM
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It's certainly amazing you've been able to enjoy her life for such a long time. Considering what I've realized about your personality fron reading many of your posts, there's little doubt she believes you set the moon. Mine died suddenly 48 years ago from a massive stroke. Took less than 30 seconds according to Dad. Given her extremely strong religious beliefs, if she had any inkling of the outcome, would've been the happiest person on earth. God bless you both.
Message was edited by: BerlinSPY73®
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Heisman Winner [83106]
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 18, 2025, 10:47 PM
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It is not rare. I have that sometimes. I honored her wishes and was a dutiful son but I always wished I had lived closer, been more help, and seen her more often.
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National Champion [7152]
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Youre there with her now
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Sep 18, 2025, 10:50 PM
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That’s what you’ll remember. Lost mine at the age of 95. God has a way of helping us remember the good times and forgetting the bad.
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All-TigerNet [6058]
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I thought that more when my dad...
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Sep 18, 2025, 10:53 PM
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passed suddenly in his sleep at age 75 than i did with my mom when she passed at age 92. I never got the chance to say goodbye to my dad or have a chance to make it very clear how much i appreciated all he had done for me in keeping on the right path and staying committed to college and law school.
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Solid Orange [1330]
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 18, 2025, 11:00 PM
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I own a home care company. The fact you’re caring about your mom probably means you’re a good sons be nice to yourself.
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Solid Orange [1330]
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 18, 2025, 11:03 PM
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I meet lots of people’s parents who are aging and/or on hospice. Spend time with her. It’s obvious you care. So
Be nice to yourself.
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Dynasty Maker [3149]
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 18, 2025, 11:08 PM
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Prayers up you and your family. It’s not unusual to question yourself in times of loss. Resist the less pleasant memories and focus on the good ones.
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Legend [6776]
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 18, 2025, 11:58 PM
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Prayers for you and your family sir. God please bless and comfort this family.
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TigerNet Elite [74646]
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 19, 2025, 12:22 AM
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Sending prayers up for your entire family. My mother died suddenly and unexpectedly at home when she was 75. I had the same thoughts as you about myself and whether or not I could have done better. I think it's a normal reaction.
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CU Medallion [20614]
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 19, 2025, 12:41 AM
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Being there for her now counts the most.
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Rival Killer [2822]
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 19, 2025, 12:51 AM
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My dad just went through this with his 93 year old mother: just be with her and she knows you love her and she loves you. Just being with her is the best thing you can do.
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Orange Beast [6109]
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 19, 2025, 3:01 AM
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I can drive myself crazy looking at life in retrospect. Doesn’t the bible address looking back?
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Game Changer [1621]
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 19, 2025, 4:44 AM
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Spend every moment you can.They want to put my dad in Hospice however my cousin is a retired nurse so it works out. We go riding almost every week he can still check his accounts I even shave him so I'm putting my time love the sights on Folly Beach. wish you the best!
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Ultimate Tiger [34239]
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Re: Prayers sent.***
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Sep 19, 2025, 4:47 AM
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TigerNet Elite [72603]
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Prayers for you and your family.***
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Sep 19, 2025, 5:10 AM
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Top TigerNet [29049]
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Prayers for your Mother and your family. I lost my Mother in 1998, and
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Sep 19, 2025, 5:14 AM
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my Dad in 2000. Then, my only son in 2019. My only sister died last October.
I have often posed the same question to myself, sometimes remembering my shortcomings. However, I have attained a certain inner peace, knowing I did my best to be a good son, Dad and brother. The past is the past, and I am certain none of my departed loved ones would want me to torture myself over any slights I may have rendered. Therefore, I mourn their losses, remember each with love and affection and go on with my life.
I am sure you will, also, find that same inner peace, for I have no doubts you are not only a good man, but have been a good son.
Peace unto you, my great Friend.......
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CU Guru [1547]
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 19, 2025, 5:32 AM
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No sir. All feelings and reflections are understandable during times like these. Hospice house and staff were amazing helping my mom as she passed recently. My prayers worth you friend.
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National Champion [7864]
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 19, 2025, 6:48 AM
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My prayers are with you and your family. A very similar road. Just be thankful for the many years and I’m sure you’ve made her very proud.
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Legend [6834]
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prayers for you my friend.
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Sep 19, 2025, 7:07 AM
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my mom is 83 and her health is borderline but she is a fighter.
i am abundant in joy to still have her.
thank the lord every day for her.
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Oculus Spirit [42675]
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 19, 2025, 7:24 AM
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I believe that is probably not rare at all. Everyone handles these types of thing differently but the fact that you are questioning what you could have done better is probably an indication that you have done better than you are giving yourself credit for. I’ve come to know you as a very respectful, humble, caring person. I can only imagine that your Mom is more proud of you than you can ever know. Hang in there brother. I went through this with my older sister last year and unfortunately, there is a lot of time for your mind to wander while it is happening. My hope for you is that the fondest memories of your time together can rise to the top and dominate those thoughts. Call or text if there’s anything I can do for you.
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CU Guru [1511]
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Make sure
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Sep 19, 2025, 7:31 AM
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You tell your love ones often how much you love them and tell them good bye like last time you may ever see them
I am still haunted by how I last spoke with my mother. We were at 1997 peach bowl and I was in a big rush after game to go meet up with my fraternity brothers in Atlanta. I didn’t hug her, was actually kind of rude. A few days later at age 58 she had a stroke and passed away.
Oh how I wish we could do that over. But the lesson I learned is … say good bye to someone with kindness and love , surely not anger as you never know
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Game Day Hero [4174]
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 19, 2025, 7:28 AM
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Talk to her about the good memories as much as you can. She may or may not hear everything but it will still bring you both some peace. Or you can read to her from Psalms if you can't come up with the words for what you want to say.
Praying for your family.
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Orange Blooded [2501]
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Probably more normal than you think
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Sep 19, 2025, 7:45 AM
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My dad passed 2 years ago Sunday. I moved my mom in with me earlier this year and she is having some serious health issues, and I still feel guilty about not doing enough most days.
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Team Captain [488]
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 19, 2025, 7:56 AM
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I am sorry to hear about this. My dad is 84 and my mom is 78. Both doing very well, but there is not a day that goes by I don't worry about their health. I prayer you and your family will have peace and vast memories as that time draws near.
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TigerNet Icon [157893]
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Thinking of you and your family.
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Sep 19, 2025, 7:57 AM
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and regardless of the past, you can still make the most of every remaining moment.
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Tiger Titan [48294]
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 19, 2025, 8:24 AM
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Hindsight is always 20/20 and full of regrets unfortunately.
Take care Clover!
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Orange Elite [5194]
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 19, 2025, 9:59 AM
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Prayers for your Mom and you.
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National Champion [7737]
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 19, 2025, 10:03 AM
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AI History of Hospice
Hospice history evolved from medieval "hospices" providing shelter to travelers, into modern palliative care thanks to Dame Cicely Saunders, who established the first modern hospice, St. Christopher's Hospice, in 1967. This innovative approach focused on holistic, pain-focused care for the terminally ill, inspiring the widespread adoption of hospice care globally, particularly with the establishment of the Medicare Hospice Benefit in the U.S. in 1983.
Early Roots (Ancient to Medieval Times)
Ancient Civilizations:
The concept of caring for the dying in their final stages can be traced back to ancient times.
Medieval Europe:
The word "hospice" comes from the Latin word hospes, meaning "guest" or "host". During the 11th century and the Crusades, hospices were established as places of hospitality for travelers, pilgrims, and the sick, offering shelter and care. These were more like shelters than specialized medical institutions.
19th and Early 20th Centuries
Religious Orders:
Religious organizations, particularly in Europe, began to care for the dying with a more spiritual focus.
Early Foundations:
In 1843, L'Association des Dames du Calvaire opened a home for the dying in Paris, leading to other similar institutions. In 1879, the Irish Sisters of Charity founded Our Lady's Hospice for the Dying in Dublin.
The Modern Hospice Movement (Mid-20th Century to Present)
Dame Cicely Saunders:
In the 1950s, British nurse and social worker Dame Cicely Saunders became a key figure. Inspired by her experiences caring for terminally ill patients, she advocated for a holistic approach to end-of-life care.
St. Christopher's Hospice:
Saunders founded St. Christopher's Hospice in London in 1967, creating the model for modern hospice care. This model focused on "total pain," a concept acknowledging the physical, emotional, social, and spiritual aspects of suffering, and emphasized palliative care to improve the quality of life.
Growth in the United States:
1969: Dr. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross's book On Death and Dying promoted home care and patient autonomy.
1970s: A campaign began to bring hospice care to the U.S., leading to the founding of Connecticut Hospice in 1974.
1983: The Medicare Hospice Benefit was enacted, providing Medicare coverage for hospice care for the terminally ill.
Today:
Hospice care has evolved into a global movement recognized for its compassionate, patient-centered approach to providing comfort and dignity at the end of life.
----
Prayers for you and your family clover65®
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CU Medallion [19053]
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 19, 2025, 10:13 AM
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Talk to her about your thoughts. When my Dad was in hospice I felt like he could hear what I was saying even though he was too weak to respond.
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Ring of Honor [22102]
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 19, 2025, 10:13 AM
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Prayers for you, your sweet mother, and all involved. Just by saying what you said tells me you are a great son to her. Just don’t leave anything unsaid.
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Recruit [61]
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 19, 2025, 10:22 AM
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97 year old mother in last stages in Hospice care. The closer the time gets, it seems thoughts turn more to times when I could have been a better son. I suppose that is not rare in times like this?
Most of us go through the same thoughts and questions when our parents are in their dying stages. It’s natural. I’m sure your mom is proud of you and what you have done with your life. Don’t let it get you down.
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Paw Warrior [4838]
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 19, 2025, 10:38 AM
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Prayers are with you. Losing a Mom is never easy
Hang in there
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Ultimate Clemson Legend [109410]
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Hate to hear this. Praying for you and your family.***
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Sep 19, 2025, 10:41 AM
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CU Guru [1544]
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 19, 2025, 11:14 AM
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Praying for you and your mother enjoy the time you have
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Clemson Conqueror [11146]
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 19, 2025, 11:24 AM
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The fact that you're even thinking that you could have been a better son means she raised you well. Rest in that. God's peace to you all!
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National Champion [7593]
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 19, 2025, 11:24 AM
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We all get reflective and certain times in our lives. Just be there for her.
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Head Coach [997]
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 19, 2025, 12:13 PM
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No matter how "expected" the end may be we are never truly prepared. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your mom- peace, comfort, and resting in the assurance you will see her again at which time she will be fully healed, no longer struggling, and in no pain.
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Game Changer [1914]
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Not rare at all and you'll feel like this for the rest of your life. You know
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Sep 19, 2025, 12:48 PM
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how proud of you she was and how grateful that you came home from that hellhole. You chose a path in life that helped students and showed that you were kind and caring which had to make her proud. We feel it was never enough, but we have to believe that we did the best we could throughout her life. Mine was a military wife who made a home in over 13 different stations and I so regret that I never thanked her or acknowledged what she did. We have to believe that they knew we loved them and appreciated them. Prayers for you and your family.
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Valley Legend [12367]
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We are all sinners, who carry our share of guilt and shame.
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Sep 19, 2025, 12:50 PM
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The good news of the gospel is Jesus bore that guilt and shame so that today we can stand before God blameless with great joy. I pray your mom has her peace in Him.
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National Champion [7609]
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 19, 2025, 12:55 PM
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I understand the "better son", sentiment. My mom has been gone now, for over forty years and, ever so often I think back, and wish I had been a better son. I guess a lot of sons feel the same way. God bless you, and give you peace in the times ahead.
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Top TigerNet [32264]
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 19, 2025, 1:01 PM
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So sorry to hear Clover. I think most of us wish we were better sons when young but I hope now it is not too late. I had a friend tell me that if his mother had to have a knee replacement, he feels he needed to pay for it because she wore her knees out praying for me.
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Starter [297]
TigerPulse: 34%
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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5
Sep 19, 2025, 2:07 PM
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Yes and a mother's love is said to be akin to the Almighty's.
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Gridiron Giant [15215]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 19, 2025, 4:34 PM
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Prayers for you and the family.
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Varsity [119]
TigerPulse: 51%
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 19, 2025, 4:39 PM
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cherish the final moments,time-
many of us have been there
Go with God!
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Orange Beast [6409]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 19, 2025, 5:14 PM
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Don't be hard on yourself. None of us are perfect. Just take good care of her now before she gets to Heaven.
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CU Medallion [19113]
TigerPulse: 100%
52
Posts: 11151
Joined: 2008
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Prayers for peace and comfort, Clover.
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Sep 19, 2025, 5:20 PM
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Who among us can say they couldn't possibly have been a better son? Knowing you like i do I'm sure you were a fine son. Remember the good times.
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Ring of Honor [22498]
TigerPulse: 100%
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God Bless your whole family, Sir!!***
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Sep 19, 2025, 9:12 PM
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All-In [10995]
TigerPulse: 100%
45
Posts: 14286
Joined: 2004
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 19, 2025, 9:36 PM
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It’s never easy watching someone you love go through that.
I’ve had similar thoughts as well.
I find myself talking to God a lot more than I did when I was younger. That helps me.
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Letterman [197]
TigerPulse: 81%
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 19, 2025, 10:46 PM
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Always time for reflection “coulda woulda shoulda” in times like these.
God loves you, forgives you and will carry you through this if you go to Him in prayer and release your cares to Him.
I will be lifting you in prayer for guidance and resolution.
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Clemson Icon [25427]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 20, 2025, 12:52 AM
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So sorry for you to be going through such difficult times. You and all of your family and especially 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏 for your Mother.
🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️. I hope God has his arms open for your Mother. If A Healing miracle happens God Bless you and your family.
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Mascot [22]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Tough times on personal front
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Sep 20, 2025, 3:20 AM
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Prayers for you and your family. Thank you for your service as well. Hope it all gets better for u guys soon.
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All-Time Great [91979]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Posts: 41120
Joined: 2003
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IF you are still there for her now, she has forgotten all that came before.
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Sep 20, 2025, 8:16 AM
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That's what good moms do.
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Athletic Dir [1177]
TigerPulse: 49%
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It is never too late! Tell her now, even if she cant hear you or respond.
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Sep 22, 2025, 10:28 PM
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Hold her hand and talk to her.
God bless and good luck. I am praying right now.
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