Replies: 51
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Heisman Winner [139284]
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Here's a text message
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May 13, 2024, 2:32 PM
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that one of the wives sent to the "book club text thread" (basically all the wives and significant others) last week. One of the guys forwarded it to a smaller group of males attached to these women.
Keep in mind, this is a text. Not an email, not a FB event/invite. A longcat text. In fact, I'm going to add all of the breaks so you can see how long it is on a phone:
"I know this is still a little early, but I wanted to go ahead and let you know, so that you can put it on your busy calendar. Dan, my sweet man's 50th birthday is coming July 3rd. He really wants to have everyone out to the house that weekend prior. So here it is! June 29th. 4pm til whenever. Bring a dish if you would like. And whatever you plan on drinking. I will have a lemonade pitcher, water pitcher & sweet tea pitcher for the littles. We will have a few different outdoor activities for all ages. Football, soccer, 1 cornhole set, ball pit for little bits, giant jenga, yard twister & darts. IF you have activities that you would like to share, bring them with you! We have 3 Bluetooth speakers that will be throughout so music can be played. There will be 4 fire pits. I will be spraying the front and backyard area for mosquitoes the day before. But I also have several cans of all natural bug spray in case people want to walk in the woods..lol I will be making a large upside down pineapple birthday cake for Dan, a few racks of St. Luis ribs & a baked mac & cheese. I hope y'all can make it! It would mean so much to him. ❤️ I'll be sending out a reminder when we get closer to the date."
What. The. Fuck.
We're like "this could have been 6 to 8 words: Party for Dan's 50th, June 29th"
And I feel like I've been clear about my 5 firepit ABSOLUTE MINIMUM requirement for any event I attend, and I also prefer at least 4 or 5 networked bluetooth speakers, but that's negotiable.
Women, man.
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Heisman Winner [107359]
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lutz, are those 4 solostove fire pits? Needs to be smoke-free
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May 13, 2024, 2:35 PM
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for optimum friend-time.
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Oculus Spirit [77711]
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I got one of those large solo stoves for Xmas 2 years ago.
May 13, 2024, 2:58 PM
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It’s still in the box at the lake house bc we already have a fire pit w bricks and rocks. I still raz my wife that she spent $200 on it and it’s still in the box.
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110%er [9235]
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Fire pits in late June , W T F. Everyone knows that's for fall football weekends
May 13, 2024, 3:16 PM
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Heisman Winner [107359]
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Oculus Spirit [87832]
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What's the address?***
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May 13, 2024, 2:36 PM
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Oculus Spirit [87832]
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Edit: We'll bring brownies***
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May 13, 2024, 2:36 PM
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Hall of Famer [21555]
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I'll bring some bourbon.
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May 13, 2024, 2:41 PM
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and tittays.
<###### src="https://giphy.com/#####/nspvD8XYqUxP2" width="480" height="480" frameBorder="0" class="giphy-embed" allowFullScreen>######>via GIPHY
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Hall of Famer [21555]
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poot***
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May 13, 2024, 2:42 PM
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Oculus Spirit [87832]
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Hall of Famer [21555]
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So is FBCooch grammar. Lulz.***
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May 13, 2024, 2:47 PM
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Oculus Spirit [77711]
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Lot o points [183195]
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Dan and I have the same 50th bday! Except I'll be on the beach.
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May 13, 2024, 2:37 PM
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Everyone invited.
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All-In [49058]
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Dan
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May 13, 2024, 2:38 PM
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you poor bastar>d
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CU Medallion [67679]
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Unlike Greenr, I hope Dan gets to choose the menu
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May 13, 2024, 2:48 PM
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and get his peenr wet
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Heisman Winner [107359]
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Nothing like cooking for a crowd to celebrate your own birthday. God knows
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May 13, 2024, 2:52 PM
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we all would want that pressure. Especially with ALL THE FIRE PITS going at one time.
Eff that noise, decent pizza and call it a day. Have someone else pick it up.
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Oculus Spirit [77711]
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Dang I feel that. Every special day Im out on the grill
May 13, 2024, 3:05 PM
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For instance yesterday for Mother’s Day and my MIL’s bday I’m grilling a grill full of steaks and salmon. A few of the steaks were more like med than med rare and I felt terrible as the chef. People seemed to be fine w it but it’s so stressful.
Like let’s have this awesome meal for 10 people but you are in charge of cooking the meat exactly right.
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Heisman Winner [107359]
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My nightmare is cooking for my wife's family. Wife wants to get them nice steaks
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May 13, 2024, 3:13 PM
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so we do that then have to make sure there is very little to no pink in there. Hard to cook a steak that done. I quit buying steaks for them a few years back though, just refused it.
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Oculus Spirit [77711]
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Renting a beach house on the outer banks for a summer vacation .
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May 13, 2024, 3:24 PM
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All my wife’s siblings families and her parents. Gonna be like 25 people. I can’t wait for when I hear “let’s just grill hamburgers and hotdogs one night”… yea sounds simple and awesome for everyone but me.
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Oculus Spirit [82343]
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Unless you are volunteering for it, how did you get chosen to be chef?
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May 13, 2024, 3:26 PM
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also..."renters..lulz".
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Oculus Spirit [77711]
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Im always the chef. Its just something I do very well.
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May 13, 2024, 3:59 PM
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I really do enjoy cooking for people, it’s great. But when it’s more than 6-8 people it gets much more difficult and stressful. Cooking two med rare ribeyes on the grill I have down to an exact science. Cooking 10 w the temp fluctuations and different temps people want is different.
Why can’t everyone just eat steaks Med Rare like they should?!?!?
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Oculus Spirit [82343]
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^^^volunteers to cook for everyone...
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May 13, 2024, 4:23 PM
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complains about cooking for everyone.
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Oculus Spirit [77711]
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My wife volunteers me!***
May 13, 2024, 5:25 PM
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Orange Blooded [3915]
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Orange Blooded [3915]
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Orange Blooded [3915]
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Orange Blooded [3915]
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Another suggestion
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May 13, 2024, 4:37 PM
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Only hit enter once on your phone
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All-In [46756]
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damphone.******
May 13, 2024, 7:52 PM
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Heisman Winner [107359]
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Heisman Winner [136758]
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I can't believe Dan's hardheaded wife is still planning this party.
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May 13, 2024, 2:50 PM
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Or, maybe it's just that Dan failed to inform his wife that I had challenged him to a duel on June 28th. I mean, I'm pretty darned good with a flintlock dueling pistol, you know.
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Orange Blooded [4222]
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mmmmmm large upside down pineapple birthday cake***
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May 13, 2024, 2:52 PM
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Oculus Spirit [87832]
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Oculus Spirit [77711]
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Yup. Pretty sure the 4pm until meant swinging
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May 13, 2024, 3:09 PM
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They have plenty of games for the kids and fire pits while the husbands take turns spit roasting the wives.
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All-In [45288]
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No way I would consider going to something with such scant information provided
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May 13, 2024, 2:59 PM
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regarding the mosquito repellent situation.
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All-In [46756]
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Re: No way I would consider going to something with such scant information provided
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May 13, 2024, 3:32 PM
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All-In [45288]
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Dengue very much***
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May 13, 2024, 3:37 PM
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All-In [46756]
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Re: Dengue very much***
May 13, 2024, 4:16 PM
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Lot o points [157957]
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CU Medallion [56476]
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She texts from her computer and assumes everyone else does, too.***
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May 13, 2024, 3:25 PM
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All-In [46756]
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Bro.....
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May 13, 2024, 3:27 PM
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Pigs of wives. TGIM.
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All-In [45288]
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I just figured it out. If you read the last letter of every line down it says
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May 13, 2024, 3:39 PM
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'This is a sex cult come join the sex cult there will be four firepits at the sex cult.'
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All-In [46756]
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They have a....
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May 13, 2024, 4:18 PM
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Big gold star mounted by the front door.
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CU Medallion [59201]
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You're gonna go, and you're gonna like it.***
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May 13, 2024, 3:57 PM
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Oculus Spirit [98609]
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Typical PTA/HOA Karen wanting to appear so dutiful and perfect.
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May 13, 2024, 4:14 PM
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And she blew it. Her husband will probably do half that crap by the time all is said and done.
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All-In [28906]
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"My sweet man", "littles" and "little bits" had me wretching on my own vomit to
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May 13, 2024, 4:17 PM
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the extent I thought I was gonna go out like my namesake.
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Oculus Spirit [82343]
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Yeah.."the littles"
May 13, 2024, 4:28 PM
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Legend [18203]
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Im still stuck on St Luis***
May 13, 2024, 4:20 PM
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CU Medallion [67679]
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TIL that quozzel is 19B's female neighbor
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May 13, 2024, 4:24 PM
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who is married to Dan
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Lot o points [157957]
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What kind of poors are you hanging out with?
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May 13, 2024, 4:28 PM
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A man makes it to 50 and his wife’s idea of a bash is $100 in food and some streamed music? ###?
“Hey kids, get excited, Miss LuEllen is going to have water AND Instant tea and lemonade for you!!!”
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CU Medallion [67679]
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Oculus Spirit [82343]
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Lot o points [157957]
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Did you not see that text?
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May 13, 2024, 4:40 PM
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He made it to 50, with at least 20 of those with that underachiever of a woman who wants wife of the year for throwing a BYOB cookout.
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Replies: 51
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