Usually I am up this time of day because I go to work. Today I am up because I couldn't sleep. Sometimes thoughts of lost comrades. Sometimes angry because my aging mind and 53 years kept me from recalling names of several friends in arms - just nicknames and places they were from. Reliving explosions that took their lives and all the details like it happened yesterday.... but still no names for several who I considered close friends at the time. Somewhere I have a list of all those who died but I may never remember names of many who were injured or the fortunate ones who had no physical injuries. And memories of those who did survive that I saw in Walter Reed..... many double and some quadruple amputees ( the majority of the ward where I spent several months). Most of all, the face of the soldier I saw only once in a PT clinic whose blinded eyes were completely white and the numerous deep scars were darkened by the residue of gunpowder left behind by the explosion that altered what had to have been a handsome face. I know this because his beautiful wife sat at his side holding his hand during his therapy - I was able to make eye contact with her but could not speak ..... because I had no words to share that would change what was down the road for the couple. I am forever grateful that I never gave an order as a squad leader that resulted in a death or even an injury .... in a letter from my last(of several) platoon leaders he said that the worst day of his life was the one when he sent half of his platoon on a mine sweep and the entire squad died in a gasoline fed fire after an explosion blew up the truck in which they were returning to Hill 4-11. I don't have these nights often...... but today I remember. Thanks for letting me vent and please pray for families of all those who were lost. Today has to be tough for them.