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Replies: 19
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110%er [6358]
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Help Needed To Attend Spring Game
Apr 8, 2022, 9:18 AM
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Does anyone know a way to get rid of a debilitating sunburn quickly? Rather than doing my quarterly STD test, my doctor agreed to just assume the worst and write me a prescription for antibiotics. I am apparently the only one in the world that didn’t know antibiotics cause an increased sensitivity to sun. My doctor’s head nurse laughed and hung up on me this morning when I called to complain.
I spent all day yesterday throwing down beers in Augusta and forgot to put on sunscreen. It’s really not my fault because they confiscated my fanny pack that had my sunscreen in it because the stars and bars patch wasn’t “appropriate”. Regardless of the fact that I did nothing wrong, I can barely move today. I needed to squint to read the front page of TigerNet this morning and the pain would have made me cry if I weren’t so dehydrated that my eyes can’t tear. Opening my mouth wide enough to eat my leftover Bojangles chicken biscuit was excruciating. I ended up having to cut it into little pieces. Anything that stretches my skin hurts worse than the time I tore off my big toenail trying to punt a cake at my cousins gender reveal party.
The top of my legs are so sunburnt from sitting in the stands that the skin is actually blistering. A girl responded to my open invitation on Twitter to attend the spring game with me and I don’t want to have to cancel. I’m also supposed to go back to Augusta on Sunday. This went from being one of the best weekends of my life to one of the worst.
Someone on here has to know a way to make the pain go away so I can go to the spring game. I’m willing to try anything.
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All-TigerNet [11059]
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Re: Help Needed To Attend Spring Game
Apr 8, 2022, 9:29 AM
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LOL take a bath in mater juice ??
GO TIGERS!!!
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110%er [6358]
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Re: Help Needed To Attend Spring Game
Apr 8, 2022, 10:14 AM
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I don’t have any and going to the store requires too much movement. Do you think Bloody Mary mix would be a good substitute? I’ve got a couple gallons of Zing Zang.
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All-TigerNet [11021]
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Re: Help Needed To Attend Spring Game
Apr 8, 2022, 9:32 AM
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Go ahead and admit it. You're identifying as a tomato.
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All-In [27325]
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Re: Help Needed To Attend Spring Game
Apr 8, 2022, 10:18 AM
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Soak in an epsom salt tub for about 6 hrs.
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110%er [6358]
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Re: Help Needed To Attend Spring Game
Apr 8, 2022, 12:22 PM
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In an act of desperation, I combined your plan of epsom salt with the suggestion to soak in tomato juice. Having neither, I soaked in Zing Zang mixed with 40 ounces of Lowry’s. It didn’t work. Only thing that changed is that I now smell horrible and it is too painful to take a shower to try and wash the stink out. This sucks.
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Commissioner [963]
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Re: Help Needed To Attend Spring Game
Apr 8, 2022, 10:31 AM
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I bet that girl could take your mind off the pain.
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110%er [6358]
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Re: Help Needed To Attend Spring Game
Apr 8, 2022, 3:48 PM
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I would have to lay starfish on my back and she wouldn’t be allowed to touch my arms or legs and kissing would be strictly prohibited. I’m not saying it would be a no, but I certainly haven’t fixated on it today like normal.
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CU Medallion [52879]
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Re: Help Needed To Attend Spring Game
Apr 8, 2022, 10:33 AM
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A guy down the road from me swears by this remedy. Get a handful of fresh dog poo and rub it in circular motions over the affected areas. Let dry for 2 hours and then rinse with Cheerwine. He says it's a miracle how much better your burn feels. Good luck and post the results, please. BTW the other neighbors say he's a coot. HTH
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Orange Blooded [2722]
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Re: Help Needed To Attend Spring Game
Apr 8, 2022, 10:57 AM
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Aloe can help with the sting.
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All-In [30833]
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Beta carotene 5000 IU/day. after about of month of that
Apr 8, 2022, 11:04 AM
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you wont ever get a sunburn.
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Oculus Spirit [79253]
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Just like with a jellyfish sting, try
Apr 8, 2022, 11:19 AM
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urinating on yourself.
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All-In [32653]
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I think you have to
Apr 8, 2022, 11:57 AM
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set yourself on fire and then urinate on yourself - if you want to.
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CU Medallion [64837]
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Orange Blooded [2538]
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Re: Help Needed To Attend Spring Game
Apr 8, 2022, 12:25 PM
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Can't help you with the pain. I had to take an antibiotic for five plus years due to an infection 0f my knee that occurred ten years after replacement. If you go to the game wear a wide brimmed hat(preferably a fishing hat that covers your neck), long sleeved shirt, and gloved, and heavy sun screen on the exposed areas.
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All-In [26512]
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Go to Belk and ask "Where is the Miami Vice collection" ?
Apr 8, 2022, 12:30 PM
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Ask for Sonny.
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CU Medallion [64837]
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FastChad be like:
Apr 8, 2022, 12:35 PM
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Oculus Spirit [93668]
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Morphine always worked for me.***
Apr 8, 2022, 1:26 PM
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CU Guru [1143]
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Re: Help Needed To Attend Spring Game
Apr 8, 2022, 1:49 PM
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When my wife got badly sunburned, I advised her to let me pour a gallon milk over her in the shower.
When that didn't work, I advised her a liter of apple-cider vinegar would do the trick.
Both of these are not unheard of, but for your case, I'd advise coating yourself in petroleum jelly and then putting on a long sleeved shirt and long pants. Avoid dark colors if possible, but if they are too light they might become see-through.
She's not my wife any more, but not because of the sunburn.
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Orange Blooded [4356]
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More like SlowChad amirite?***
Apr 8, 2022, 2:02 PM
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