Getting old...

Salty55® · 2025-07-07T11:46:16.443Z

Probably not from me...but a groan? Yeah, I can deliver those! Case in point: What sounds like a sneeze and is made of leather? A shoe! (Told ya!) What do you call an army of babies? Infantry! (Is that a tear?) Stepping up a notch... I now know how it will all end. One of my kids will unplug my life support to charge their cell phone. And the merciful conclusion! Arguing with a woman is like reading the Software License Agreement. In the end, you ignore everything and click, "I agree"! (Seems pretty much on point to me!) Settle into your week, Tiger Nation! The 'Dog Days' are 'pon us...and the footsbawls iz 'round the corner!

Jedi Kermit®

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Re: Yep...it's Monday! Let's scrounge up a 'Dad Joke' chuckle...

Jul 7, 2025, 7:57 AM

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced 10 husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin." "What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married 10 times?" "Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative. He kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services. He was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he'd look into it and get back to me. Husband #3 was from field services. He said everything checked out diagnostically, but he just couldn't get the system up. Husband #4 was in telemarketing. Even though he knew he had the order, he didn't know when he would be able to deliver. Husband #5 was an engineer. He understood the basic process, but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method. Husband #6 was from finance and administration. He thought he knew how, but he wasn't sure whether it was his job or not. Husband #7 was in marketing. Although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it. Husband #8 was a psychologist. All he ever did was talk about it. Husband #9 was a gynecologist. All he did was look at it. Husband #10 was a stamp collector. All he ever did was... God! I miss him! But now that I've married you, I'm really excited!" "Good," said the new husband, "but, why?" "You're a lawyer. This time I know I'm going to get screwed!"