Replies: 60
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All-In [40674]
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Future MIL is staying with Red and I
Apr 28, 2017, 9:17 AM
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While future FIL is recovering from surgery.
Few highlights from night 1:
-Not only did she take a call during dinner, she was kind enough to place it on speakerphone. -She's a "huge" football fan and talks about it all the time (trust me, she has three favorite teams she cares passionately about), yet had no clue what I was watching on television last night on ESPN between 8pm and 11pm. -She has a continuous competition with herself as to how much food she can have in her mouth while she speaks. -She woke up at 2am and helped herself though our cabinets to make herself a snack as loudly as she could. -Woke up this morning to her listening to music in the living room at 6:30am. This is approx. one hour earlier than I wake up.
Im so happy she is here for two more nights, really, I am.
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Oculus Spirit [94584]
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TWO TD's for no pigs of either***
Apr 28, 2017, 9:18 AM
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All-TigerNet [14324]
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*me, Red and me...stoopid NCState***
Apr 28, 2017, 9:19 AM
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All-In [40674]
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You corrected the proper grammar
Apr 28, 2017, 9:21 AM
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With incorrect grammar.
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All-TigerNet [14324]
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You aren't serious are you?***
Apr 28, 2017, 9:21 AM
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All-In [40674]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 23598
Joined: 1/29/05
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All-TigerNet [14324]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 13887
Joined: 7/10/03
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All-In [40674]
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You get that I am the subject of the topic
Apr 28, 2017, 9:26 AM
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Because its ALWAYS about me.
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All-TigerNet [14324]
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Posts: 13887
Joined: 7/10/03
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CU Medallion [64837]
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Joined: 9/27/04
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All-In [35541]
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Re: Future MIL is staying with Red and I
Apr 28, 2017, 9:20 AM
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marriage lol
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All-In [47523]
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This is what Red will be in 20 years
Apr 28, 2017, 9:21 AM
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mark it down.
Happens every time.
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All-In [40480]
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JINX!***
Apr 28, 2017, 9:25 AM
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All-In [40480]
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you know the best part?
Apr 28, 2017, 9:22 AM
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Watching your MIL is like a look into the future of what Red will be.
They ALL turn into their mothers.
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All-In [40674]
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Is that true?
Apr 28, 2017, 9:25 AM
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I think I just accidentally cancelled the wedding.
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CU Medallion [60455]
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Oculus Spirit [79857]
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That's what they say, anyway
Apr 28, 2017, 9:26 AM
[ in reply to you know the best part? ] |
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I'm waiting on the house cleaning to commence...
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All-In [47523]
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No what we mean is they take all of the
Apr 28, 2017, 9:28 AM
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BAD parts of their mothers.
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All-In [40480]
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Don't forget the end of the beej***
Apr 28, 2017, 9:32 AM
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All-In [47523]
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^^^ this
Apr 28, 2017, 9:37 AM
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wife gives an amazing one... the ending has started lacking though.
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Oculus Spirit [98828]
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It's funny. When you're dating your future wife
Apr 28, 2017, 9:27 AM
[ in reply to you know the best part? ] |
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You do not think she's ANYTHING like her mother, and thank GAWD. So you get married, and in 15 years you find out your wife is actually worse than your MIL.
Yep. That's how it goes.
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110%er [6575]
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Re: It's funny. When you're dating your future wife
Apr 28, 2017, 11:49 AM
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My mil is annoying. She even annoys my wife. I pray to god nawt
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Oculus Spirit [98828]
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Joined: 7/13/02
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Oh, that's not an excuse. Wife of's mil annoys her
Apr 28, 2017, 1:21 PM
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and then she turns right around and takes it to a whole new level not even realizing. So don't let that fool you.
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Oculus Spirit [98828]
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Future Ex-MIL if you let her hang around like that***
Apr 28, 2017, 9:25 AM
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Oculus Spirit [79857]
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Don't y'all live in an apartment too?
Apr 28, 2017, 9:28 AM
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.
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All-In [40674]
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Just send T&P's***
Apr 28, 2017, 9:29 AM
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Oculus Spirit [79857]
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Consider this conditioning
Apr 28, 2017, 9:36 AM
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Once you're about 3 weeks away from the wedding things really start going to helll. The pressure on the females begins to build, worries accumulate, everything is second guessed.....Good luck and god speed.
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All-In [40480]
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you are the prime example of why i tell anyone that
Apr 28, 2017, 11:51 AM
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will listen that:
the planning is 10 times worse than the actually being married part.
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Oculus Spirit [79857]
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It's turned me into a firm advocate for not having a wedding
Apr 28, 2017, 11:57 AM
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Either the two of you go somewhere nice and tie the knot, or just have something simple with a dozen or so people. The classic wedding just isn't worth it, especially when you start looking at the other stuff that money could have been allocated towards.
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Oculus Spirit [79647]
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Lutz, you're gonna do fine with marriage.***
Apr 28, 2017, 9:28 AM
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All-In [40674]
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Just going to enjoy the next four months
Apr 28, 2017, 9:29 AM
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Until it all goes downhill.
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All-In [47523]
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Joined: 8/11/15
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She's probably trying to run you off
Apr 28, 2017, 9:29 AM
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since you're shacking up with her daughter.
That is against the laws of God you know.
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All-In [35541]
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Its his sin to live in***
Apr 28, 2017, 9:30 AM
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All-In [47523]
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Pigs of sin?***
Apr 28, 2017, 9:34 AM
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CU Medallion [54206]
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Posts: 21131
Joined: 11/6/14
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Talk to me when...
Apr 28, 2017, 9:30 AM
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You witness your MIL touch raw chicken and taste her fingers to check for seasoning. And while in the same course of meal prep for herself she takes her raw chicken hands and touches multiple cabinets and multiple utensils. And then when you say something about it she ignorantly says, "Well I've been cooking like this for years and I'm not dead yet." And then you reminder her that, "Well maybe that's why you are suffering from kidney failure."
And then two weeks later you have to help your esposa clean up huge puddles of runny #### because she was a little confused from the pain meds that she was trippin on and was unable to find the bathroom in time.
Crulez, run! Run now! Run as fast as you can and never look back!
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All-In [47523]
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Well... the good news is
Apr 28, 2017, 9:31 AM
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your situation won't last much longer.
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CU Medallion [54206]
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20 friggin years with end stage renal kidney failure.
Apr 28, 2017, 9:36 AM
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This woman will never die.
Not that it needs to be said, but I don't wish her any ill will. Especially now that we have her out of our home and in a place of her own where she has some assistance. For all of her faults, she really is a special woman. Just as long as she doesn't live with me ever again.
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All-In [40674]
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Until I came along
Apr 28, 2017, 9:46 AM
[ in reply to Talk to me when... ] |
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Red did not wash her chicken prior to cooking.
She also cooked everything on the highest possible setting her stove would go.
Long story short: I cook.
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All-In [49487]
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Why the Fudge are you washing chicken?
Apr 28, 2017, 11:54 AM
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So you take something with bacteria on it and splash the bacteria all over your sink, counters, and anything else close by the sink so you can make is safe enough to eat it after it's been cooked to 170 degrees internal temperature, which kills all the bacteria present anyway?
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Oculus Spirit [79647]
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Posts: 25066
Joined: 8/29/12
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CU Medallion [50635]
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all i can say is
Apr 28, 2017, 10:25 AM
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good luck getting her to leave
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Heisman Winner [107545]
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Joined: 12/2/02
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How was the threesome? On PornHub, it is ALWAYS
Apr 28, 2017, 9:35 AM
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awesome. Did she show Red how to give a beej?
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Oculus Spirit [79647]
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I love a good pouch grab while the daughter is riding***
Apr 28, 2017, 9:56 AM
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CU Medallion [73570]
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Joined: 11/30/98
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is she fat
Apr 28, 2017, 9:45 AM
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cause that's Red's future
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All-In [40674]
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Red has her fathers genetic makeup
Apr 28, 2017, 9:47 AM
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The other two daughters, not so much. They look great now.. but I can see shortly into their futures.
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Heisman Winner [107545]
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She has a dong?***
Apr 28, 2017, 9:48 AM
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CU Medallion [54206]
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Posts: 21131
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Crulez favorite part.***
Apr 28, 2017, 9:50 AM
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All-In [35541]
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Posts: 14328
Joined: 4/7/17
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winner***
Apr 28, 2017, 9:57 AM
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Oculus Spirit [79647]
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Posts: 25066
Joined: 8/29/12
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Shhh don't tell him. She's been tucking it.***
Apr 28, 2017, 9:57 AM
[ in reply to She has a dong?*** ] |
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All-In [35541]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 14328
Joined: 4/7/17
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in between his azzcheeks***
Apr 28, 2017, 9:58 AM
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Head Coach [764]
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how long are she staying?***
Apr 28, 2017, 10:28 AM
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CU Medallion [67919]
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Posts: 25204
Joined: 6/12/14
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If you want to tame the wild beasts known as MILs
Apr 28, 2017, 10:28 AM
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PIIHB
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All-TigerNet [11023]
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Just think, daughters become their mothers.***
Apr 28, 2017, 10:32 AM
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Oculus Spirit [76577]
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Posts: 109183
Joined: 10/26/03
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Wait, why isn't that ##### with her husband?
Apr 28, 2017, 11:46 AM
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Seems he'd need some help if recovering. Or was it ear surgery?
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All-In [40674]
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Because he is in the hospital
Apr 28, 2017, 12:29 PM
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Visiting hours end at 8 my dude.
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Heisman Winner [136931]
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Joined: 12/6/98
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FASCIST HOSPITAL.***
Apr 28, 2017, 12:37 PM
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CU Medallion [54206]
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Posts: 21131
Joined: 11/6/14
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Typical Pavlovian response to hospital hours.***
Apr 28, 2017, 12:39 PM
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Oculus Spirit [79857]
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Summoning the Circle Jerk Squad in 3..2..1..***
Apr 28, 2017, 12:46 PM
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Oculus Spirit [76577]
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Load of crap, I know people stay all night.
Apr 28, 2017, 12:39 PM
[ in reply to Because he is in the hospital ] |
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She just wants you to be uncomfortable instead of her. Good luck with that later. You are in my prayers.
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CU Medallion [60455]
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Posts: 42656
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That's Timeist
Apr 28, 2017, 12:40 PM
[ in reply to Because he is in the hospital ] |
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don't they know that in some cultures things like clocks do not matter?
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Lot o points [183649]
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Joined: 12/5/10
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Suck it.***
Apr 28, 2017, 3:27 PM
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