110%er [9048]
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Ever see Kirby Smart at Flying J?
emoji_events
[10]
May 2, 2022, 2:00 PM
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I had a late night after running my illegal towing rig up and down I-75 looking for wrecks last week. I ran out of pickled sausage and cheese crackers, so I stopped by the Flying J for a steak dinner and a few more cases of Mountain Dew. Imagine my surprise when I was walking down the motor oil aisle and found who I believed to be Kirby Smart. Black UGA polo struggling to stay tucked into his khakis with a braided leather belt and brand new black Crocs. Dawg visor and everything. He was walking down the isle like a boss. He totally owned it. I knew it had to be him.
I immediately froze and could feel my palms start to sweat. My mind was racing? Do I tell him that I’m the guy that calls him Curvy Shart to all my friends? Do I ask him if Will Muschamp ever told him about the plays he drew up and drunk texted to Jeff Scott when he was head ball coach in Clumbyuh? Do I congratulate him for winning a National Championship and even tell him about how I was cited for disorderly conduct after Clemson won its third?
Honestly, what do you do if you ever come face to face with greatness in front of shelves stocked orderly with some of Americas greatest automotive achievements? I don’t know if it was because I was still a little dehydrated or if it was because my blood pressure was about to lead me to a visit of the CVS Minute Clinic, but I was positive that I was going to pass out.
I dropped to my knees just as he turned around to walk back towards me. The scene must have looked like one of those TikToks of people about to get mugged in NYC, but only potato chips and Red Bull in the background instead of political stuff. Turns out it wasn’t Kirby and just some dude.
The important part of this story is that we need to plan for the unexpected. If you haven’t thought about it, you probably should. What would you do if you ever met Kirby Smart?
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All-In [33925]
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AFlDawg ain’t gonna like this.***
emoji_events
[5]
May 2, 2022, 2:04 PM
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Walk-On [145]
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Re: Ever see Kirby Smart at Flying J?
May 2, 2022, 2:26 PM
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FIVE paragraphs??!? LOL! Had it actually been Kirby I'm sure he'd have thanked you for the free rent.
(cue bbo with the TD for the confirm)
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110%er [6456]
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Re: Ever see Kirby Smart at Flying J?
[3]
May 2, 2022, 2:33 PM
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Man, now I owe James Barker five bucks.
I bet him long ago dawgs would only ever be able to count to three....
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110%er [9048]
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Re: Ever see Kirby Smart at Flying J?
[3]
May 2, 2022, 3:36 PM
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When I was formulating these paragraphs entirely of my own wit and wherewithal, conceiving them ex nihilo and uninformed by any outside inputs whatsoever, I knew I could never be man enough to hold Kirby accountable for his rent checks bouncing while he sat eating Cheetos in a beanbag chair in my head.
I’m afraid to admit he’s rent-free in my head…because deep down I think I’m in love with him.
So is that a fair summary of what you wish I’d say?
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All-In [43489]
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+1 for the humorous confession and for using the
[3]
May 2, 2022, 3:38 PM
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term ex nihilo. You must also be a Ken Ham fan.
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110%er [9048]
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Ham gets a lot of secular flack, but he’s a legitimately great thinker and communicator.
[1]
May 2, 2022, 4:10 PM
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I don’t line up with all of his assertions 100%, but I agree with most.
It requires far more faith to believe in order arising from chaos than from its Creator.
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All-In [33925]
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The fun part is watching
[1]
May 2, 2022, 4:06 PM
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the dog trolls helplessly taking the bait. Talk about living rent free.
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All-In [25236]
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Flying J, is that some new slang term for marijuanna??***
[1]
May 2, 2022, 2:41 PM
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110%er [9048]
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It’s the good stuff, mannnn.
[1]
May 2, 2022, 3:37 PM
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It flies, mannnn.
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110%er [7257]
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Re: Ever see Kirby Smart at Flying J?
[1]
May 2, 2022, 3:38 PM
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No……I won’t go in the restroom there.
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110%er [9048]
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Nothin like a hot shower
[1]
May 2, 2022, 3:46 PM
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next to some diesel pumps and a cigarette counter. #fresh
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All-Conference [448]
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Re: Ever see Kirby Smart at Flying J?
[2]
May 2, 2022, 3:54 PM
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Hahahaha.
Hahahaha.
This is gold man
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All-In [30126]
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What would I do if I met Kirby Smart?
[2]
May 2, 2022, 3:59 PM
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I would hand him a wet wipe and tell him to wipe off the Cheetos ring around his mouth.
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110%er [9048]
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And maybe a Tide pen for those little oil marks on his shirt
[2]
May 2, 2022, 4:04 PM
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where some Cheeto bits hit his gut as they fell to the floor. He’s an open-mouth chewer, so you’ll have that.
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Athletic Dir [880]
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Re: Ever see Kirby Smart at Flying J?
[1]
May 2, 2022, 4:02 PM
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TU
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CU Guru [1061]
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Best post on here in a while.
May 2, 2022, 4:11 PM
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TU for making me laugh and being creative.
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All-TigerNet [10361]
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Tell him he has some slobber on his shirt and keep walking.
[1]
May 2, 2022, 4:29 PM
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110%er [9048]
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Joined: 2/21/06
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The eternal spring of the Dawg jowls
May 2, 2022, 7:44 PM
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hath many a slobber mark made.
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