Cereal post is cereal: Joungers that sound like chainsaws

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gather round chirren, lemme tell you a story

Oct 30, 2019, 9:39 AM

I got a sleep study and the results were... you guessed it, i need a CPAP. Pro tip. The doctor that gives you the study is the one that decides if you need a CPAP and is also the one that SELLS you the CPAP. This decision is actually made while you are ASLEEP! I asked the nurse if she has ever told anyone that they DIDNT need a cpap. She rolled her eyes and laughed. Incidentally the Scale is 4-20 (why i dont remember) and I was an 8.

Any who. As i said, shockingly i was prescribed a CPAP.

So, go get fitted and such. CPAP nazi told me that it is hooked to the internet and will report on my use. Why? because if I do not use it 80% of the time, the insurance will not pay for it. The insurance company RENTS the CPAP for 1 year at $100 per month and at the end of the year if i am 80% compliant, then they purchase the machine for me......for $1000. Doing the math that is $2200.

Fast forward a couple of months and we go spend the weekend with inlaws who SMOKE. Of course I took the CPAP because of internet CPAP BigBrother Nazis. When I get home, I go to use it the first night and it was like having a waffle house waitress blow shotguns from her lucky strikes into my nose all night. yeah that didnt work. I took it apart, washed it, soaked it in apple cider vinegar, everything I could think of. Also tried to run it to let it air out, but his was chipped so if you didnt WEAR it, it automatically cut off after 15 seconds.

So, I contacted the doctors office and said i needed to exchange it. They said, uhm, no. I said well you told me to use it and now it smells like Mel from Alice's Cigar. They said, continue using it and it will air out. I said #### you. This is a rented machine and if its rented, it belongs to you so.....fix it. We went around and around and I finally said they could take it and shove it.

After turning it in, I turned around and bought one from them for $600. I had to show my prescription.

TLDR

CPAPS are a racket.

they charge $2200 for a $600 CPAP.

Big Brother monitors them.

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Get that surgery where they drill your nasal cavity

with a 2" paddle bit.***

Yes and I'd say brick and mortar bits too

skip the CPAP and just sleep in

woah woah woah. Think of his safety first

Garage???? What are you retards smoking???***

Good point. Maybe he has a rich uncle nearby that

hook cpap directly to car exhaust

To stop snoring, all you have to do every night is gargle

I've tried these. Don't work***

Did you gargle bleach first? I think i was clear.***

Here's a better mouth guard that you probably have access to

Diameter is too small for the bbc***

just right for SWC***

So are you the type that just sits there and watches

IF I'M WEARING IT THEN I'M FLAUNTING IT***

Gotcha. Participant.

lose 15 lbs

Great minds ....***

Misspelled 45 lbs***

lose 25 pounds

do it.

lose 35 lbs***

I snore like a chainsaw and I cain't loose 35 lbs

I was just trying to make a patteren

Changed my life.

gather round chirren, lemme tell you a story

seems there would be a ripe black market for these

You want a used CPAP?***

I got one you can have for free if you want.***

you can get one exactly like mine on Craigslist for $300

thank you. Been trying to preach this fo-eva.

I absolutely have it***

do you stop breathing. does it scare your wife (or make her

That is apparently how I sleep.***

Yep

It's probably higher than that, but there is also likely

Re: Get better insurance***

TIL there are alot of fats in the Jounge

Stope being fat and get to exercising

Stop being fat

your insurance sucks

Its hard to compete with Medicare***

to be fair to me

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