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Tiger Titan [51052]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Posts: 25075
Joined: 2022
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Induced labor tonight.
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Sep 25, 2025, 8:52 PM
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I've been backed up for longer than I can recall, which probably means more than a week. It's not a total blockage where I need to worry about a clinical disempactment. There has been some movement. But, it's getting to be uncomfortable and I finally need the output to outpace the input at scale.
I just mixed up a healthy dose of fiber, on top of which I took on Tuesday. I have a clear schedule tomorrow (and I work remotely) so outside of a skip-level meeting, I'm sitting pretty if/when it's time to deliver.
For the record, this isn't that unusual. I'm on a GLP-1 med, in which gastroparesis is a functional mechanism. I joke with my wife that I went from averaging four dumps a day, to having a weekly "poop" day where I'm drained like rolling a tube of toothpaste with a baking pin. There's sweet relief on the other side, but that poop day can be hellacious at times. You're torn between the satisfaction of emptying what has been stuffed in you like a turdducken, and screaming to the heavens for the brown tide to finally recede.
So, I will see you on the other side.
Go tigers.
Yabo Dabo Doodoo.
9/26 11:30AM Update: No progress. I did take a warm bath to see if I could prime the pumps. Nothing. While naked, I did take the opportunity to weigh myself so I can get more scientific with what the release will actually drop me to. Right at 200. I'm about to eat lunch and do another round of fiber. Will weigh again to account for the new food.
9/26 2:30PM Update: Another 2 TSP. of fiber has been dosed.
9/26 11:00PM Update: No movement. I've held off on additional fiber because tomorrow I have my kid's birthday party, potentially a baseball game (if it doesn't get rained out), and family in town. Now, I need to hope I didn't pull the pin today, and can hold on to this grenade until Sunday.
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All-In [11077]
TigerPulse: 100%
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POTD***
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Sep 25, 2025, 8:53 PM
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National Champion [7449]
TigerPulse: 100%
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So you are telling us you are full of something.***
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Sep 25, 2025, 8:55 PM
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Tiger Titan [51052]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 2022
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For now.***
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Sep 25, 2025, 8:58 PM
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Valley Protector [1427]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Hilarious!!!
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Sep 25, 2025, 9:01 PM
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As a 71 year old on a first name basis with Metamucil, I feel your pain.
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Tiger Titan [51052]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Hilarious!!!
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Sep 25, 2025, 9:04 PM
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Heisman Winner [87647]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Hilarious!!!
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Sep 25, 2025, 9:35 PM
[ in reply to Hilarious!!! ] |
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Metamucil is, frankly, miraculous.
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Tiger Spirit [10047]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Induced labor tonight.
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Sep 25, 2025, 9:03 PM
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But have you flicked your ####### in a bubble bath today?
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Tiger Titan [51052]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Posts: 25075
Joined: 2022
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I have bath melts. Not bubbles.
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Sep 25, 2025, 9:05 PM
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Please respect the sanctity of the bath.
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Tiger Spirit [10047]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: I have bath melts. Not bubbles.
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Sep 25, 2025, 9:09 PM
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Heisman Winner [87647]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 2004
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+1 for 'turd'ducken***
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Sep 25, 2025, 9:34 PM
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Paw Warrior [5046]
TigerPulse: 100%
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How Many Courics is your record?
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Sep 25, 2025, 9:34 PM
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Orange Phenom [14941]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Congarts on the pewp. The Hozempic werkin?***
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Sep 25, 2025, 11:31 PM
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All-Time Great [91981]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Posts: 41122
Joined: 2003
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The short time I took Ozempic, never had to working about pooping. The
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Sep 26, 2025, 11:11 AM
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projectile nausea coming out the UPPER end took care of all that. It was absolutely turribel.
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TigerNet Elite [76716]
TigerPulse: 100%
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I hope you can #### soon***
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Sep 25, 2025, 11:35 PM
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National Champion [7517]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Top TigerNet [29317]
TigerPulse: 100%
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I hope it all works out.
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Sep 25, 2025, 11:49 PM
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HAHAHAHAHAAAA! GET IT! LIKE IT ALL WORKS OUT... YOUR ########!
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TigerNet Elite [76716]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 2018
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In the end.***
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Sep 26, 2025, 12:04 AM
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Orange Immortal [61649]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Posts: 28769
Joined: 1999
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Ts and Ps for.poo.*******
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Sep 26, 2025, 5:41 AM
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Ultimate Clemson Legend [104989]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Posts: 99769
Joined: 2009
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I have an antique Case knife.
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Sep 26, 2025, 6:39 AM
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FYI, CASE means Cuts ### So Easy. For the pleasure of the experience I can drop by and perform an episiotomy which would make a real surgeon jealous. NO CHARGE.
As for the 'closing,' ceremony I suggest 2 lb Stren mono and a #10 Eagleclaw short shank hook. We can add a couple stitches which will delight the heart of your boyfriend. I'll need reimbursement for the line and hook and if that baby's breech we'll call in a vet to reach up in there and set that precious little critter right.
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Tiger Titan [51052]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Posts: 25075
Joined: 2022
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Re: I have an antique Case knife.
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Sep 26, 2025, 9:01 AM
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CharlestonTiger15® you got competition bro.
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Ultimate Clemson Legend [104989]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 2009
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Yep and Tigerfur has a Case Canoe that I bought the year he was born.
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Sep 26, 2025, 3:24 PM
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I found it in a case of Case knives in a small country store. The owner said every knife in the case was for sale. I opened the glass front and got the display Canoe which according to the dots was made in 1973.
In reality I don't know how many I've bought through the ages. I carry an Old Timer rather than lose a good Case. It's probably worth more than some of those I don't carry.
What I'd buy if I could find it a a Boker one arm bandit. I'd like one of the old ones made from high carbon. I don't so SS at all. If you run across one of the small Bokers I'd pay you for it. The one I had was black and under 3" long. Tigerful found out he wasn't old enough to carry a pocket knife when I let him use it.
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TigerNet Grandmaster [198408]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Posts: 39994
Joined: 2007
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Been on that stuff for a while, got to keep fiber and
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Sep 26, 2025, 7:39 AM
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Miralax in your system on a regular basis. I have found Ollipop's work great, but one a day or explosive pharting occurs.
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TigerNet HOFer [124201]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 2002
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Do you need a poop knife for your weekly dumps? Seems terrible. Lettuce
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Sep 26, 2025, 9:01 AM
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know how it goes.
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Top TigerNet [32471]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Posts: 24182
Joined: 2002
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FYI. You can buy Dude Wipes in bulk at Sams Club***
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Sep 26, 2025, 10:08 AM
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Heisman Winner [87278]
TigerPulse: 100%
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This reminds me of when I broke my femur.
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Sep 26, 2025, 10:13 AM
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All the opioids make you have pancake poop, it basically stacks and stacks and stacks until it is so big it tears your hole apart coming out. Twas a bloody mess
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Tiger Titan [51052]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Posts: 25075
Joined: 2022
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When I had a prolapse surgically removed, the first poop was straight torture.
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Sep 26, 2025, 11:33 AM
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Hardened and large from the painkillers, on top of pushing past the tender sutures. I had to actually pop a few hydroCs before I knew I'd be going, and then I'd pick it out piece by piece just to get it smaller so I could pass it.
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Ultimate Tiger [33819]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Posts: 15562
Joined: 2014
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i know of a shoe you could poop in
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Sep 26, 2025, 11:48 AM
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Paw Warrior [4966]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Can I be the poop's godfather?***
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Sep 26, 2025, 2:41 PM
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Tiger Titan [51052]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 2022
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I couldn't think of a better rolemodel.***
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Sep 26, 2025, 2:43 PM
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Paw Warrior [4966]
TigerPulse: 100%
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I won't let you down***
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Sep 26, 2025, 2:44 PM
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Tiger Titan [51052]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Posts: 25075
Joined: 2022
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Irregardless
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Sep 26, 2025, 2:48 PM
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I first got to get it out.
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Clemson Sports Icon [55940]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Posts: 35039
Joined: 2015
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Hey Oh Pee. I'm on my 5th dump today***
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Sep 26, 2025, 2:59 PM
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Oculus Spirit [41401]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 2012
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seems like a simple trip to Taco Bell would expedite this mission
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Sep 26, 2025, 3:00 PM
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But what do I know?!?!?!
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Paw Warrior [4966]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Tiger Titan [51052]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Posts: 25075
Joined: 2022
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Well friends, we had a false start Sunday night.
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Oct 1, 2025, 9:12 AM
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But I'm proud to announce after two hours of labor from midnight to 2 a.m., Jimmy Jr. was delivered into this world, a 2lb. unholy mess of liquids, solids, and plasma. Father and baby are doing fine...now.
Thank you for all your TPs.
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TigerNet Elite [76716]
TigerPulse: 100%
61
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Joined: 2018
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Congratulations! You should make some of these for your gender reveal party
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Oct 1, 2025, 9:46 AM
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ITS A BROWN
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All-Time Great [91541]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Congratulations! You should make some of these for your gender reveal party
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Oct 1, 2025, 10:30 AM
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