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Heisman Winner [82338]
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As I rapidly approach my first colonoscopy, I've been tasked with
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Jun 24, 2025, 9:22 AM
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something that nobody who has been around the sun that many times should have to do. Apparently I'm to pick a song for a Mother-Son dance at my moms 6th ####### wedding in July. Also been asked to give her away...again.
Now, I like the fella she's marrying. He's real religions and probably thinks they have to get married even being old as hell, but why the #### can't they just go to the #### court house and leave the rest of us the hell alone?
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110%er [3747]
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Id only agree to do it if she can remember her first five husbands names***
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Jun 24, 2025, 9:25 AM
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All-TigerNet [6062]
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This could have been two separate posts
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Jun 24, 2025, 9:26 AM
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But I'm glad it's not. Lots to unpack here.
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Ultimate Clemson Legend [109482]
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6? She's doing it wrong.***
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Jun 24, 2025, 9:42 AM
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Ultimate Clemson Legend [104847]
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What if she got half each time?
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Jun 24, 2025, 9:44 AM
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Maybe she's doing it right?
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Heisman Winner [82338]
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Well it was 82 or 83 and my dad got full custody of me
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Jun 24, 2025, 10:21 AM
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and as well as I can recall from the divorce papers didn't lose any assets.
3. Nothing to split.
4. Next to nothing to split, probably happy to be done with each other.
5. There was some car that only half ran, no monies.
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All-Time Great [91454]
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What about the other 4?***
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Jun 24, 2025, 10:23 AM
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Heisman Winner [82338]
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Do you mean other 1?
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Jun 24, 2025, 10:26 AM
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Please reread and reconstruct the question so I may better answer it.
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All-Time Great [91454]
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Lets do the math.
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Jun 24, 2025, 10:27 AM
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There was your father--That's one
Then 4 more dudes
Then the new guy she hasn't married yet--That's one.
Add all those up--you get 6...right?
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Heisman Winner [82338]
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As stated above
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Jun 24, 2025, 10:40 AM
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Well it was 82 or 83 and my dad got full custody of me
and as well as I can recall from the divorce papers didn't lose any assets.
3. Nothing to split.
4. Next to nothing to split, probably happy to be done with each other.
5. There was some car that only half ran, no monies.
I don't know about number 1. I reckon he didn't have much of anything either on account of being young and his mother living on the Catawba Reservation.
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Ultimate Clemson Legend [109482]
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Heisman Winner [82338]
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Re: 6? She's doing it wrong.***
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Jun 24, 2025, 10:13 AM
[ in reply to 6? She's doing it wrong.*** ] |
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1. Dead heart attach while my sister was very young, maybe still in diapers.
2. My dad, started working on number 3 while married to him
3. May be dead, divorced when I was still pretty young, he had a way of his paycheck finding its way into a poker machine rather than to the bills.
4. Good dude, still alive as far as I know. They divorced just as I was graduating from Clemson, she was the problem.
5. Dead a few years now, cancer.
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Heisman Winner [84350]
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At this point Id tell her to just go to the courthouse
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Jun 24, 2025, 1:12 PM
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Or have a wedding w just a witness and an officiant. My 3rd wedding was on the lake house dock w another couple (one was officiant, one was the witness). Dropped off the marriage license next day downtown. Easy and done
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Heisman Winner [82338]
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They should 100% have just gone to the court house already.
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Jun 24, 2025, 1:20 PM
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I honestly have no idea what to expect as far as people or other family showing up.
The fella is wanting to do all the special things he can, especially considering husband number 5 was the type that couldn't even fix himself supper.
A few years back when my aunt died I offered for my mom to ride down to Florida with us. We get to Greenwood to pick her up and that fool husband was carrying on about no supper. All that supper was going to be was some Tyson chicken things, I think he should have been able to handle that.
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All-Time Great [91454]
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Heisman Winner [84350]
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Yes. First time to Lacey, had 3 kids.
Jun 24, 2025, 2:45 PM
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2nd time to someone during Covid and it only lasted 6 months, although we had been together a few years not married. No kids, she got nothing in the divorce, and I don’t ever have to talk to or see her again.
Now Gville girl and I are going on 3.5 years.
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All-Time Great [91454]
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Covid was 5 years ago
Jun 24, 2025, 3:29 PM
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So you got married, divorced, and married in 1.5 years?
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Clemson Sports Icon [58519]
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Obey your Momma.*******
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Jun 24, 2025, 9:45 AM
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Heisman Winner [82338]
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No.***
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Jun 24, 2025, 10:13 AM
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Clemson Sports Icon [58519]
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Then enjoy your colonoscopy.*****
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Jun 24, 2025, 12:08 PM
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Ultimate Clemson Legend [104847]
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Orange Immortal [68453]
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6 is a lot, wow. And a full wedding and reception. My sister has been married
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Jun 24, 2025, 9:48 AM
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at least 5 times, but she only had two weddings. This was all before she was out of her 30s so she was not in it for the long haul.
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Clemson Sports Icon [58519]
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Pigs of sister.*******
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Jun 24, 2025, 12:09 PM
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TigerNet Icon [148395]
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Orange Immortal [68453]
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TigerNet Icon [148395]
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I should punch you in the goozle.
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Jun 24, 2025, 9:58 AM
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For using 'hootie' and 'fun' in the same sentence.
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Orange Immortal [68453]
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It's embarrassing, but true. No way you didn't see them at least a few times.***
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Jun 24, 2025, 10:01 AM
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TigerNet Icon [148395]
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Only once, at a battle of the bands event in Rock Hill.
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Jun 24, 2025, 11:12 AM
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I didn't know who they were, so it's good that I can trace my hatred back to a singular event.
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Orange Immortal [68453]
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Re: Only once, at a battle of the bands event in Rock Hill.
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Jun 24, 2025, 11:14 AM
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TigerNet Icon [148395]
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I'll say this...
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Jun 24, 2025, 11:21 AM
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The Starland Vocal Band concert in Byrnes Auditorium at Winthrop College in 1977 was an INFINITELY better show.
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Orange Immortal [68453]
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Share with the group the story of you getting this tattoo
Jun 24, 2025, 11:25 AM
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TigerNet Icon [148395]
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Two.
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Jun 24, 2025, 12:33 PM
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TWO punches in the goozle.
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TigerNet Icon [148395]
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Heisman Winner [82338]
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Orange Immortal [68453]
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All-Time Great [91454]
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SIX? yikes.
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Jun 24, 2025, 9:55 AM
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It might NOT be them.
Is she out of money?
And WTH is that new guy thinking knowing there were 5 more before him?
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All-TigerNet [6062]
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Hey now
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Jun 24, 2025, 10:07 AM
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I respect a man with an "I can fix her" mentality
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Heisman Winner [82338]
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LOL, she isn't so much out of money as never
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Jun 24, 2025, 10:18 AM
[ in reply to SIX? yikes. ] |
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was any money.
Luckily she knows better than to ask me for money.
I think the religion thing, not to make this need to be on another board, is the driving factor.
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Clemson Conqueror [11361]
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Orange Immortal [64539]
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Orange Immortal [64539]
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Orange Immortal [68453]
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Re: oh dear, I just found the lyrics to this song
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Jun 24, 2025, 10:23 AM
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All-Time Great [91454]
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All-Time Great [91454]
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Re: oh dear, I just found the lyrics to this song
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Jun 24, 2025, 10:25 AM
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Top TigerNet [32956]
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TigerNet Icon [154411]
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I challenge you to find another song from any artist that includes
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Jun 24, 2025, 11:07 AM
[ in reply to oh dear, I just found the lyrics to this song ] |
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"extirpation" in the lyrics. Not that you can pick out individual words from any death metal singers, but still...I'm gonna have to look that one up.
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TigerNet Icon [154411]
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Actually a kinda neat word.
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Jun 24, 2025, 11:09 AM
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Didn't know there was a word for this.
Extirpation, also known as local extinction, refers to the disappearance of a species or population from a specific geographic area, while it may still exist elsewhere. It differs from extinction, which signifies the complete disappearance of a species from the Earth.
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Orange Immortal [68453]
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I looked it up expecting the worst. It was not.***
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Jun 24, 2025, 11:10 AM
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All-Time Great [91454]
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Orange Immortal [64539]
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Just venturing a guess here, but...
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Jun 24, 2025, 10:37 AM
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Wedding #6 won't be providing propofol for the guests, so...I gotta go with the colonoscopy here, if given a choice.
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Heisman Winner [82338]
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I figure I've got to get to my PCP first, they will refer to the colonoscopy
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Jun 24, 2025, 10:42 AM
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place, but none of that happens until August or something. That is IF my current doctor still takes my insurance by then.
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Clemson Conqueror [11361]
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wrong order I think
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Jun 24, 2025, 2:51 PM
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You should do the PCP before the wedding, not before the colonoscopy
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Orange Immortal [68453]
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Re: wrong order I think
Jun 24, 2025, 3:02 PM
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TigerNet Immortal [173374]
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Turn it into content
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Jun 24, 2025, 10:42 AM
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Today on Bobby Boycotts It …..
I get it. At some point you need to streamline the process.
https://youtu.be/sbi7lbwV6U8
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Tiger Titan [50657]
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Today on Bobby build it, make a chastity belt out of old wood lying around...***
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Jun 24, 2025, 2:22 PM
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TigerNet Legend [135422]
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Something about this should def go in the spreadsheet***
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Jun 24, 2025, 11:43 AM
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Orange Elite [5157]
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Re: As I rapidly approach my first colonoscopy, I've been tasked with
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Jun 24, 2025, 12:15 PM
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#6?? In that case don’t give her away. Ask the guy to sign a 2 year lease.
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Heisman Winner [82381]
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hate those things
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Jun 24, 2025, 2:18 PM
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the Colonoscopies that is
the procedure is nothing, it's that horrible liquid and the ######## that ensues
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Heisman Winner [82338]
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I'm most worried about paying for it.***
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Jun 24, 2025, 2:37 PM
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All-Time Great [91454]
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The prep is definitely the worse part***
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Jun 24, 2025, 3:21 PM
[ in reply to hate those things ] |
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Top TigerNet [32956]
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your mom should meet my uncle - hes 82 and wife #11***
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Jun 24, 2025, 2:50 PM
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All-Time Great [91454]
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ELEVEN???
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Jun 24, 2025, 3:20 PM
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He has absolutely no money left, and just marries every woman he that will say yes.
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Heisman Winner [82338]
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...or fill in more sinister story.
Jun 24, 2025, 3:36 PM
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Also, you never replied earlier in the thread. Are we all clear on the previous 5 at this juncture?
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All-Time Great [91454]
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I guess.
Jun 24, 2025, 5:12 PM
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What it seems like you're saying is that nobody she married had any money, which seems improbable. But if you're one in numbers 3-6, it kinda makes sense.
Sounds like she may have a frequent flyer discount with a divorce attorney though.
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Clemson Conqueror [11565]
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Choose "Do That To Me One More Time" and she'll never ask you to do it again.***
Jun 24, 2025, 3:53 PM
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Paw Master [17218]
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Re: As I rapidly approach my first colonoscopy, I've been tasked with
Jun 24, 2025, 5:05 PM
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Dude trying to make an “honest woman” out of your momma. 😆
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Replies: 66
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