Barker Modified Swim Team Letter for Conference Expansion

May 14, 2010, 6:26 AM

Dear Clemson Fans, Past and Present:

I write this letter to all Tiger fans who have ever supported Clemson athletics.

You have been on an emotional roller coaster the last two weeks with all this talk of conference expansion. The news that your university and conference commissioner may be sitting back with our thumbs up our arses while the Big 10 and SEC get after conference expansion should come as no shock. Many of you are pissed at this.

I have read your letters and emails to me, as well as Terry Don. I have better things to do with my time then to meet with you people, especially those T-Net members. Although I don't live my life online (like you losers), I have been briefed on the chatter found on your website in the last week.

Here are things I know and understand:

It takes a special kind of dedication to be a T-Netter. After all it does interfere with work, family and other important matters but your love for Clemson makes it all worth it, I suppose. Your concern for Clemson is always on full display, except for those Coots that want to pose as Tigers to stir the pot.

Individually and collectively, you have excelled as internet bloggers and made life for me and Terry Don a ##### at times. Depending on the poster, you have consistently represented Clemson in either the finest or most embarrassing manners (just like Terry Don and I).

Here are things you need to know and understand:

Clemson appreciates your input but at the end of the day we really don't give a crap. Our goal is Top 20 academics and as Dabo would say you need to be all in!! Your passion for Clemson sports can never be taken away, unless of course our conference is raped and we are left playing East Carolina, Furman and West Carolina on a regular basis.

Conference expansion is a difficult decision. I know many of you would like Clemson to join the SEC but I told the SEC Commissioner that represents those uneducated, toothless, rednecks that with the exception of Vandy, UGA and Florida none of his schools are capable of holding our Clemson scientific calculators. This issue will not be revisited. The pursuit of excellence requires us to kiss the arses of schools like UNC, Duke and UVA. If you think I'm going to miss out on getting Clemson Top 20 academic status so you can tailgate with Ole Miss hotties in The Grove or puke your guts out with cajuns at LSU then you're a bunch of delusional morons that spend too much time online and T-Net(unlike me).

There is really no way to communicate bad news. I'm sorry if our decision to not pursue the SEC and take whatever comes our way has caused you pain. We are glad you have passion for Clemson athletics and look forward to welcoming Wofford, Georiga State and Coastal Carolina to Death Valley in the coming years. Please continue to send us your money so we can provide scholarships to the SEC, Big 10 and Big 12 leftovers in the coming years.

In closing, let me say again, Top 20 academics here we come!!! It's important to hear your comments, even when they're critical. After all, I have a delete button and use it most of the time. Thanks and Go Tigers!!

Sincerely,

James Barker
President

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Barker Modified Swim Team Letter for Conference Expansion

you have way to much time on your hands***

hilarious

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