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Replies: 33
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CU Medallion [54011]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 21055
Joined: 11/6/14
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You know how they say never forget?
Sep 10, 2019, 7:37 PM
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Sometimes I wish I could. I’m not the same young man I was 18 years ago. Stuff don’t bother me like it used to. I’ve become an alcoholic, I’ve gotten married (within 10 months of the event), I’ve had children, I’ve lost contact with loved ones, I mock death and make jokes about inappropriate things, I have become numb. It definitely changed me. I’m not sure what’s the effects of alcohol, life, or becoming a man anymore. Somebody that cared about me a lot once told me that they thought I had PTSD. I thought they were a fool for trying to excuse away my bad behavior. I didn’t lose any close friends or family members at that time. I didn’t suffer enough at that time to use it as an excuse. But the truth is, the things I’ve done are not the things I would have done. The truth is, I was close to the event and I was scared. I prayed and I worried. I couldn’t take my eyes off of the news coverage for months afterward. The smell hung in the air for weeks. Sometimes a smell can take you back. Electrical smelling fires hang in the air in a really weird way. Every plane I saw flying in the sky was a potential weapon. I am not the same guy I was then. Sometimes I don’t know who I am anymore. Without most sharing their real identity within these forums, I feel sometimes that y’all may know exactly who I am. Some may share my feelings. Some may not. But I feel like you at least understand. It’s not every day. Just some days. Thanks for letting me type this and throw it into the abyss of the internet. It’s potentially cathartic.
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Heisman Winner [112363]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 61263
Joined: 8/22/01
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Uhhh what!?!? ******
Sep 10, 2019, 7:41 PM
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All-In [36450]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 18324
Joined: 12/6/13
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I have PTSD as well, not from 9-11 though.
Sep 10, 2019, 7:45 PM
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But I can understand how it works.
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Lot o points [163012]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 31933
Joined: 1/17/07
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None of us are what we were before 9/11
Sep 10, 2019, 7:48 PM
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some of it because of 9/11, others just because of time and other events. But experiencing such an event should not be an excuse for your life not being what it could be.
Please seek help for your problems - whether it be with professionals, AA or friends. You need to be enjoying this journey, it is the only one you have.
T's and P's.
This video gets me going - just because.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WR261GB4JTo
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CU Medallion [54011]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 21055
Joined: 11/6/14
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I appreciate your response.
Sep 10, 2019, 2:27 PM
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But that video though? C’mon Pappa G. I work hard, I live to make other’s lives better everyday, and I have beliefs that I fully expect to have to die for someday. Depression doesn’t care who you are or what you do. Will Smith hasn’t helped or inspired me in any way and probably never will. (Unless there’s an IRobot 2.)
But you have. A simple up vote or positive thought shared on an Internet forum can have an impact. It may be a small impact, but it’s still an impact. How many impacts have you had since you started TUing on Tigernet? I wonder if you’ve changed some people’s lives sometimes. It’s small, but it’s positive. And I appreciate that way more than I appreciate Will Smith’s blathering. Thanks for being you.
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Lot o points [163012]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 31933
Joined: 1/17/07
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Just want you to know
Sep 10, 2019, 8:21 PM
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we care.
Peace.
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Oculus Spirit [97731]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 64869
Joined: 7/13/02
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You could have my job.....
Sep 10, 2019, 8:21 PM
[ in reply to I appreciate your response. ] |
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If you meet me in a professional capacity, then you have a loved one who is dead. Wife, son, daughter, brother, sister, mother or father. Fiance sometimes. From every manner of death imaginable, and some you can't even imagine. And every family, couple, and person has a story to tell and my job is to learn that story.
I'd like to think I've had a positive impact on someone of the thousands of people I've met under horrible circumstances over the years. I know exactly how my job helps them, so there's that at least.
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CU Medallion [54011]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 21055
Joined: 11/6/14
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We can tell you’re suffering sometimes.
Sep 10, 2019, 8:36 PM
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I love you though Tiggity and I don’t even know you. Hang on and things will improve. Someday you’ll be sitting on the beach, wife and kids that love you, garden fresh tomato sandwich made with Duke’s Mayo in hand and an ice cold lemonade with Bourbon (Eagle Rare) on the side. And I will run in front of you as a fat guy in my speedo. I’ll stop, our eyes will meet, and I’ll salute you with a nod and run away into the ocean to belly surf some awesome Atlantic Ocean waves! You’ll know it’s me when my kids meet me in the surf, help me up, and pour Miller Lite mixed with Vick’s Vapor run down my throat to revive me. Those kids still love me!
It was a privilege to meet you Tiggity.
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Oculus Spirit [97731]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 64869
Joined: 7/13/02
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Much obliged***
Sep 10, 2019, 10:10 PM
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All-In [40344]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 23465
Joined: 7/13/12
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for realz, I woulda graduated with a 3.0
Sep 10, 2019, 9:09 PM
[ in reply to None of us are what we were before 9/11 ] |
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But instead, I planned to study that morning and got the phone call on our land line in Wanamaker from my roommates mom. Turn on the news now.
I couldn’t study, class wasn’t cancelled and bom....failed that test.
Prof gave zero effs
Chick I was semi involved with had a father who worked on the pentagon. Chit got real.
I’ll never forget watching Bush declare war from the steps in Cooper library on a tv on a rolling cart.
I missed studying that night too, without those events I had a 3.0
(Really it was a lot of missed class and beer)
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All-TigerNet [10938]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 2774
Joined: 11/12/12
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You're not getting my Bud Light
Sep 10, 2019, 8:51 PM
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Seriously. Not giving it to you.
But if you really decide drinking isn't working for you anymore, remember this one thing: winners never quit.
*yes, jounge caveat of 'Always do the opposite of any advice given' applies to this post
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CU Medallion [54011]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 21055
Joined: 11/6/14
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Winners never quit!
Sep 10, 2019, 9:04 PM
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Winners never quit!
Winners never quit!
Winners never quit!
Winners never quit!
Winners never quit!
Winners never quit!
Winners never quit!
Winners never quit!
Winners never quit!
Winners never quit!
Winners never quit!
Winners never quit!
Winners never quit!
Winners never quit!
Winners never quit!
Just kidding. It’s not the alcoholism today. It’s letting go of a different crutch that’s bothering me a little. I’m missing the hurt I once had. I get down around this time every year. After feeling wonky and weird for longer than expected, I check the calendar. Yep, it’s getting to be that time of year. The truth is, I’ve got no excuse for my poor behavior, I’ve never tried to use it as an excuse though, but I always feel like I’m using something as an excuse. It’s weird. I hate what I’m doing but feel like I need to do it at the same time. I don’t have to search long for material around this time of year. Feeling sorry for yourself, just shows up during this week every time.
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All-TigerNet [10938]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 2774
Joined: 11/12/12
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Human Nature
Sep 10, 2019, 9:08 PM
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Stop worrying or lose the ability of self-reflection and you could turn into some kind of animal. Which would be kind of cool i guess. Make sure to take pigs.
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Heisman Winner [105622]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 65212
Joined: 12/2/02
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wELL
Sep 11, 2019, 7:49 AM
[ in reply to Winners never quit! ] |
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CU Medallion [54011]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 21055
Joined: 11/6/14
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Good one.
Sep 11, 2019, 7:55 AM
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#####
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Heisman Winner [137976]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 63819
Joined: 10/22/00
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Re: wELL
Sep 11, 2019, 8:29 AM
[ in reply to wELL ] |
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All-In [40344]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 23465
Joined: 7/13/12
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Don’t check the GPS.
Sep 10, 2019, 9:41 PM
[ in reply to You're not getting my Bud Light ] |
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Never put milk in the freezer
Keep the lint trap dirty
Forget power cycling your device
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CU Medallion [60043]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 22503
Joined: 5/24/17
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Ehhh......just wait till November and December
Sep 10, 2019, 9:54 PM
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arrive and you have no family left. No one other than your in-laws. Yeah, they are great, but I basically have zero family alive and I am on my own.
Really makes the holidays a lot of fun.
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CU Medallion [58419]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 46327
Joined: 4/23/00
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This isn't an abyss . . .
Sep 10, 2019, 10:04 PM
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is it?
I'm pulling for you, 7spots.
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CU Medallion [54011]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 21055
Joined: 11/6/14
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Misspelled a bliss!!!
Sep 10, 2019, 10:05 PM
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My bad.
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CU Medallion [54011]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 21055
Joined: 11/6/14
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I wish that the individual that gave my heartfelt post a thumbs down would step forward.
Sep 10, 2019, 10:14 PM
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I’d hope he was a war veteran who had suffered and knew the answer to the pain and would be like... “suck it up kid! Quit being a #####! You got this! And we all have your back! It’s gonna work out and I can prove it cause this is what I’ve been through...”. But the truth is, it’s just some punk who’s refusing to acknowledge his own emotional turmoil. So to whoever gave me the TD... “Suck it up kid! Quit being a #####! You got this! And we all have your back! It’s gonna work out and I can prove it cause this is what I’ve been through... and I almost forgot, I love you!”
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CU Medallion [60043]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 22503
Joined: 5/24/17
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Re: I wish that the individual that gave my heartfelt post a thumbs down would step forward.
Sep 10, 2019, 10:23 PM
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Prob 19B cause he hates anyone who takes the focus off of him and his small Pen1s
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CU Medallion [54011]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 21055
Joined: 11/6/14
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Take your hate elsewhere, homie.***
Sep 10, 2019, 10:38 PM
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CU Medallion [60043]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 22503
Joined: 5/24/17
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Re: Take your hate elsewhere, homie.***
Sep 10, 2019, 10:39 PM
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Eat a ####.
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CU Medallion [54011]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 21055
Joined: 11/6/14
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Gladly.
Sep 10, 2019, 10:54 PM
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I’d prefer a bag of #####... but if all you have to offer is the single small #####... I’d think it’s best I just consume it as any other piece of popcorn.
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CU Medallion [64837]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 22718
Joined: 9/27/04
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Heisman Winner [137976]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 63819
Joined: 10/22/00
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All-In [45777]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 23817
Joined: 2/1/99
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Re: You know how they say never forget?
Sep 11, 2019, 4:29 AM
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UR our Otis. Bless your heart.
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Oculus Spirit [93673]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 95422
Joined: 12/25/09
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Please pardon me for being me.
Sep 11, 2019, 7:38 AM
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If you stop a fish from swimming it will die, you know how this goes so...
Some people mow the grass to keep dandelions from spreading, others dig up the roots. You have an empty place in your heart, brother. You are stuffing all kinds of chit in there trying to find something that will fit. It's not unnatural and it's not extraordinary or even rare, it's actually quite common and something most of us do.
That void is demanding your attention. It effects your physical being, your emotional being and your spiritual being. There is only One who can fill that void, He created it and He alone fits in that space.
There's no need for me to Biblethump here, you know The Word and you know exactly what I'm talking about. You've burdened my heart and I've released that burden in prayer for you many a-time.
You're living on the edge, you belong to Christ, He created you. He watched as you drifted away now He's found you a slave on the auction block even though He purchased you with His Blood. You are not running to the north on Him.
Twice you belong to Him, by creation and by redemption. How you figure you're getting away is beyond me.
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Oculus Spirit [85339]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 24920
Joined: 5/21/14
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CU Medallion [55785]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 35312
Joined: 11/30/98
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whoa. The feces just became tangible in this location.
Sep 11, 2019, 8:48 AM
[ in reply to Please pardon me for being me. ] |
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Dass some preachin' right there now. Ungh.
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Lot o points [155944]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 65832
Joined: 5/6/13
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I’m going to be honest here
Sep 11, 2019, 8:46 AM
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On some of your posts I don’t know whether I should applaud or send the sheriff to check on you.
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Heisman Winner [137976]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 63819
Joined: 10/22/00
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I usually compromise
Sep 11, 2019, 8:51 AM
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and send the sheriff to applaud him.
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All-In [26694]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 15953
Joined: 4/12/07
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Send the sherriff to check on his wife.
Sep 11, 2019, 10:58 AM
[ in reply to I’m going to be honest here ] |
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That's what we do for FBCoach anyway.
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