Replies: 18
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CU Medallion [64837]
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TIFU
Sep 10, 2020, 7:31 AM
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Moments ago, I was taking my morning deuce a few minutes ago.
There's 4 dumpers and maybe 6 urinals in this bathroom. I was in 1 dumper and there was another dude in the other dumper.
I start taking a crap, and pulled up some pr0n on the ol' iPhone, after double-checking to see that my phone volume was turned all the way down and muted.
Not sure what the heck happened, but an ad on the website started blasting at FULL FREAKING VOLUME, "OH I SEE YOU THERE STROKING YOUR C**K!" with a bunch of moaning and stuff.
So I closed out the browser, pinched it off, wiped as quick as I've ever wiped before and hauled A$s out of the bathroom and back to my office before I was identified.
Dude in the other stall didn't say anything, but I'm sure he'll have a story to tell today.
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Oculus Spirit [97730]
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I think the fu was watching #### in a bathroom stall
Sep 10, 2020, 7:37 AM
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Not the ad or volume mistake.
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CU Medallion [64837]
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Agreed.***
Sep 10, 2020, 7:39 AM
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Heisman Winner [135948]
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Thank you for clarifying moments ago = a few minutes ago
Sep 10, 2020, 8:04 AM
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You are clearly rattled and I hope you don’t suffer any long term trauma from this incident. The good news is, since it happened at work your company will be on the hook for any counseling you may require. Best news is you’ve got a witness to bolster your claim for benefits.
His kicker to the story will be “and the dude ran out without even washing his hands”
Message was edited by: cu85tiger®
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CU Medallion [64837]
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Thanks for understanding.
Sep 10, 2020, 8:10 AM
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I may never be able to post a coherently on here again.
I'm well on my way to turning into Aero.
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Oculus Spirit [78876]
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"I was in 1 dumper and there was another dude in the other
Sep 10, 2020, 8:22 AM
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dude in the other dumper"
Sounds hot - TXtigerfan
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Lot o points [155943]
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Did you know that when you're in there,
Sep 10, 2020, 8:48 AM
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and you smell a neighboring stall just lighting the place up with a bowl of butt soup, it's really microscopic sh#t particles coming straight from their anoos and attaching themselves to the lining of your nose? You may as well be doing the human centipede.
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Oculus Spirit [78876]
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Thats what inspired him to pop open the flip phone and
Sep 10, 2020, 8:53 AM
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search "First time #### bbc twink"
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CU Medallion [66085]
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Lot o points [155943]
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Trust me, it's my burden to bear......
Sep 10, 2020, 9:10 AM
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stuff like that is why, at 45 years old, I can count on one hand, maybe two, the number of sheets I have taken that weren't in 1) mine or family member's home 2) a hotel/vacation rental. 3) the rare single toilet locked door work bathroom
Unless I'm quite literally about to have an explosive dook in my boxers, you'll not find me in a seated position in a public stall. If it's just basic regularity, I'm like a camel needing water....I can go DAYS if I have to.
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Oculus Spirit [97730]
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As a traveling sperm donor
Sep 10, 2020, 12:44 PM
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My travels take me across the state and beyond. I have found if you have a turtle head about to pop out driving down the interstate, find a hotel with a lobby (Hampton Inn, Holiday Inn Express, Courtyard, etc.). Walk in like you own the place and release the turtle there. They're usually VERY clean and 20 times better than a gas station or rest area. And I'd just assume #### in the woods than in a portojohn.
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CU Medallion [64837]
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Thoroughly confused: you talking about pooping or wanking??
Sep 10, 2020, 12:47 PM
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Oculus Spirit [97730]
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Pooping.
Sep 10, 2020, 12:58 PM
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I don't wank in public places. We've been through this this morning.
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Oculus Spirit [79259]
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Oculus Spirit [75722]
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Man, you should have hidden your shoes, finished what you
Sep 10, 2020, 8:56 AM
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were doing properly, and waited on the other cat to leave.
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CU Medallion [64837]
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No man, then he might be waiting outside the door to bust me
Sep 10, 2020, 11:24 AM
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I know I would have done that if the roles were reversed.
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Oculus Spirit [75722]
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Possible, but odds are they'd have grown tired of looking
Sep 10, 2020, 11:33 AM
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like a freak just waiting around outside the bathroom.
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CU Medallion [54011]
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Your mistake was probably turning the volume down to your ringer.
Sep 10, 2020, 10:12 AM
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You have to swipe up to your “Control Center” on iPhone so that you can turn down the volume for media.
That used to happen to me all the time when I was watching instructional videos on how to fix broken items for people in need. I’m a giver.
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CU Medallion [64837]
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Yep. That's it.
Sep 10, 2020, 11:27 AM
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So usually when the video starts playing, you have a second or two before "BANG BROS!" or whatever intro plays. It gives you a second after the video starts to use the volume buttons on the side of the phone to turn the sound volume down.
I was caught off guard by the freaking ad...
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