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Varsity [200]
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Diedre, -free falling-
Apr 14, 2017, 10:15 PM
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I came on here a while back asking for prayers for my girlfriend and I am grateful to everyone of you and love being part of the tiger family, as far as her fight, she had a long tough fight, times it looked like she might get better and the rest just getting worst again. No matter what would happen I wouldn't give up faith and hope that some how she will make it past this sickness, that she's the strongest person I know. She would tell me if anything would happen to her she would want me to move on and not hang on to her anymore so strongly. But I just couldn't let go and I stayed by her side and became the reason for her to fight every single minute for the day and if it wasn't for me then it's for all the other sick people that can't fight for their selfs. it was a long Hard fight and as she became weaker and more distant not wanting people to be around her to watch her become sicker I still had this feeling just to be there for her and not give up that things will get better. The other day was the first day I felt like giving up and lost some of my faith but tried to stay positive for her, I believe she saw me lose my faith and this morning she let go and passed away. I tried to imagine this day coming but I never saw it hitting as hard as it hit today, I blame myself for losing the faith and showing my weakness around her the last 2 days. I never felt such darkness surrounding me or the coldness around me. I couldn't stop blaming my self for if I might have stayed strong and kept my hope up she might have still been here and fighting and could have made it past the surgery for her new kidney. But then I had this song stuck in my head not too long ago. Tom petty- free falling. I could not figure out why such a song would be stuck in my head all of the sudden, then this warmth feeling flowed over me as I listened to the song. This feeling of warmth felt like everything was okay that now her soul is free as a bird with no more suffering and no more pain to fight anymore, a feeling that over came me to tell me that she is okay and that she is happy and not to blame myself. In a way I feel alittle jealous of her as I am left behind while she joins this new place with no pain or regret. But everyday will be in memory of her and to continue to fight for the ones that can't fight for their selfs and lead them the way to strength once again. Keep your loved ones close and love them everyday with everything you got.
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Commissioner [900]
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Re: Diedre, -free falling-
Apr 14, 2017, 10:19 PM
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Sorry for your loss.
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Oculus Spirit [90820]
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Beautiful statement of your love for her..OrangeLife!
Apr 14, 2017, 10:25 PM
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Thx for sharing & stay Orange for Life.
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CU Guru [1265]
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Re: Diedre, -free falling-
Apr 14, 2017, 10:20 PM
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Praying for peace for you as you continue in this journey called life with its many highs and lows. Just reach out to someone when you are feeling low and don't try to carry that by yourself
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Trainer [35]
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Be at peace brother.. praying for God's grace on both of you***
Apr 14, 2017, 10:20 PM
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Orange Blooded [2550]
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Re: Diedre, -free falling-
Apr 14, 2017, 10:24 PM
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Incredibly sorry for your loss. Nobody that hasn't lived through this can imagine the constant question that goes something like: "What can I do to fix this and make it go away?"
I almost lost my 11 year old daughter to an exceptionally rare form of cancer, but we fought and were as positive as we could be, and she made it. Pulled through with a lot of scars and an obvious facial deformity. She's now 33 and has 5 children of her own.
But during those 2 years of hoping and praying I felt just about worthless.
Our story was different in the outcome but the internal struggles were similar.
Peace be with you brother and stay strong!
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Varsity [200]
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Re: Diedre, -free falling-
Apr 14, 2017, 10:29 PM
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Amazing story, very difficult to go through every day to try and keep a smile on your face to make sure they are happy and not to worry anymore than they have to. I am glad to hear she made it and is living her life happily now. I believe in the long run that's the beauty of it all just getting to watch them live their life once again and happy.
God bless you and your family and to keep watching over you guys, same goes for anyone else
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110%er [6937]
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Sorry, for your loss. You are a strong man and hardships
Apr 14, 2017, 10:30 PM
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only make you stronger. God bless.
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All-TigerNet [10782]
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Re: Diedre, -free falling-
Apr 14, 2017, 10:34 PM
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Believe me,you've got it right!
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1st Rounder [617]
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Re: Diedre, -free falling-
Apr 14, 2017, 10:41 PM
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My sincere condolences. Yes - don't feel guilty for anything.
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Letterman [258]
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Re: Diedre, -free falling-
Apr 14, 2017, 10:52 PM
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I am deeply sorry for your loss. Do not feel like any of that was your fault! It was not!!! I pray for you and The rest of Diedre's family.
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All-In [25868]
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Re: Diedre, -free falling-
Apr 14, 2017, 10:56 PM
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So sorry for your loss. Will pray for you and her family.
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110%er [8866]
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Re: Diedre, -free falling-
Apr 14, 2017, 11:02 PM
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Prayers for you and your girlfriends family. You didn't give up faith, you was just a little tired. You loved until the end. If you need someone to talk to or anything call. I don't know you but I am a good listener
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CU Medallion [58415]
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I'm very sorry for your loss. Don't blame yourself; this was
Apr 14, 2017, 11:03 PM
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never in your hands. Remember the good times and be at peace.
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Orange Blooded [4267]
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Very well said ST ***
Apr 15, 2017, 11:04 AM
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Associate AD [822]
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Re: Diedre, -free falling-
Apr 14, 2017, 11:10 PM
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I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing your story.
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Orange Blooded [4021]
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Re: Diedre, -free falling-
Apr 15, 2017, 12:52 AM
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OrangeLife, I'm so sorry for your loss. Prayers for you and your girlfriend's family.
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Orange Blooded [3812]
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Re: Diedre, -free falling-
Apr 15, 2017, 7:29 AM
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Prayers for you and all of the Family!
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Legend [15914]
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I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how
Apr 15, 2017, 1:25 AM
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dufficult this was for you or her. It is not fair to you to hold yourself accountable for an inevitability though; please underatand that you are not responsible.
Hang in there.. with time will come better perspective and some healing. Be well friend.
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Orange Blooded [2721]
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Condolences and Prayer
Apr 15, 2017, 2:44 AM
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I wish I could reach through the Internet and give you a hug and pray for you. There are no flashy words. There are no recipes. And there are no silver bullets. And eventhough web chats are about as sterile from true human interaction as can be, I want you to know I am praying for you and that I am asking the Lord to remind me to pray for you and all those mourning this loss regularly.
So very sorry for your loss. At the Lord protect you from any sense of blame or guilt and instead continue to fill you with a sense of freedom based on His love and care for her.
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All-In [46565]
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: Diedre, -free falling- thank you for sharing and being so
Apr 15, 2017, 4:44 AM
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Strong like a Tiger for her. We never know the hour time or place for our appointed time to go but whatever time that is we step from this life into that life instantly without pain and worry as you said, it's the ultimate healing from this world and Christ died so death that stole souls would be overcame with his sin free innocent blood of our God as he died for our sins as fully man and fully God so we would overcome sin, death and the grave. Thank you Lord for giving her relief from the suffering!
I'm praying for you to have perfect peace beyond understanding just as you did as Free Falling was used to give you relief from some of the loss and grief. Praying you have comfort and love like never experienced and grow from this more than you ever have as the Holy Spirit guides you daily through the grief into His will for your life being lived to the fullest again over time as he leads you to His joy unspeakable. In Jesus Name Amen ????
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Varsity [200]
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Re: : Diedre, -free falling- thank you for sharing and being so
Apr 15, 2017, 7:18 AM
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Thank you everyone and for your prayers, it means a lot to be part of the tiger family with you all.
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Orange Blooded [3456]
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I had a similar experience with my sister
Apr 22, 2012, 12:20 PM
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My brother and I spent around an hour with her that evening just holding her hand and talking with each other (she was unconscious). We finally left and before I got to my car in the parking lot they called to tell me she was gone. How much longer would she have lived if I had stayed there? It wasn't a song that gave me peace, it was her words at our mother's and father's funerals that "those bodies weren't here mother or father, her mother and father were alive and loving us still."
I know you will miss her for the rest of your life.
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Legend [15492]
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Re: Diedre, -free falling-
Apr 15, 2017, 12:15 PM
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Thank you for sharing such an important and deeply personal message. In an angst ridden world, you remind us of what is really important. Prayers for you and you're family.
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Orange Blooded [2828]
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Re: Diedre, -free falling-
Apr 15, 2017, 3:04 PM
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So sorry my friend. Prayers and positive thoughts being sent your way!
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