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Ring of Honor [23783]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Thursday...Dad Jokes...let's all groan together!
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May 29, 2025, 8:53 AM
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An elderly lady walked to the bank counter and asked to withdraw $10. The teller explained that $20 or less withdrawals required an ATM. So, she instructed the teller to withdraw a $1000, all in 10's. The teller counted out the 10s and gave her the money. She took one $10 bill, then returned the $990 and said, deposit this! 
Boss: Corporate will be here tomorrow at 9AM.
Me: I'll have the vet come here at 8AM.
Boss: ??
Me: If you want a dog and pony show, someone's going to get bit...or hurt!
Did you ever wonder why companies feel the need to offer anger management...but not stupidity management? Talk about avoiding 'cause and effect'!
Have a great day, T-NET!
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TigerNet Elite [74781]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Thursday...Dad Jokes...let's all groan together!
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May 29, 2025, 8:57 AM
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A husband exclaims to his wife one day, "Your butt is getting really big. It's bigger than the BBQ grill!" Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. "What's wrong?" he asks. She answers, "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?"
A lady comes home from her doctor's appointment grinning from ear to ear. Her husband asks, "Why are you so happy?" The wife says, "The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen year old." "Oh yeah?" quipped her husband, "What did he say about your forty-five year old ass?" She said, "Your name never came up in the conversation."
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Dynasty Maker [3562]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Thursday...Dad Jokes...let's all groan together!
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May 29, 2025, 8:58 AM
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Why should you never write with a broken pencil? Because it is pointless. :0)
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Ultimate Tiger [34933]
TigerPulse: 100%
56
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Joined: 2014
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Re: Thursday...Dad Jokes...let's all groan together!
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May 29, 2025, 9:04 AM
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16 sodium atoms walk into a bar.
The bartender shouts: Batman!
Half of them leave. The bartender says:
hey, hey, hey, goodbye.
If someone from Holland married a Filipino, would their children be Hollapinos?
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Oculus Spirit [41721]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Thursday...Dad Jokes...let's all groan together!
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May 29, 2025, 9:05 AM
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Sometimes I wake up grumpy.
But other times, I let her sleep in!
I’m grateful to whoever saw beans fried once and said, “This isn’t enough!”
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Ultimate Tiger [34996]
TigerPulse: 100%
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I replaced my rooster with a duck. I'll be getting up at the quack of dawn.
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May 29, 2025, 9:15 AM
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I've always wondered if my recorded call has been used for training or quality purposes.
Queso = Spanish for cheese.
K, so = Southern for here's the plan and y'all probably not gonna like it.
I never got a round tuit, but I'm getting a custom tuit.
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Offensive Star [319]
TigerPulse: 58%
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Re: Thursday...Dad Jokes...let's all groan together!
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May 29, 2025, 11:17 AM
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A man was working in one of his many fields on a hot summer day.
Midway through this exhausting workday, his wife brought him lunch and a cool drink to the hot field.
She gazed upon her husband of 53 years and told him lunchtime has come, get it while it’s nice and hot.
Before the man sat down to eat. He got a pail of water out of the well and filled the bucket for his trusty mule that had worked by his side for many years.
The man finally sat down and finished his lunch. Once the man was finished, his wife was about to be on her way.
She told her husband she wanted to take the picnic basket and tea jug back up to the house.
in the flash of an eye. The woman mistakenly startled the mule, and it bucked and kicked her right in the head.
She died right there in that field.
The husband, not knowing what to do, called his priest.
The priest helped the man by helping get the woman’s affairs in order to plan for the funeral.
A week or so later, at the funeral, the priest was watching from afar as he noticed the oddest thing.
Every time, a man from the local town would approach the grieving husband. The priest noticed the man would always shake his head back-and-forth as if he were saying no.
While also noticing every time a female from the local town spoke to the husband, he would nod his head up and down as if saying yes.
This perplexed the priest.
Hours later, after the funeral had ended, and the priest and husband were chatting, the priest could not help but ask the husband about this coincidence.
The priest stated briefly, “Why is it every time you talk to a man? It appears you’re saying no, and when you talk to a female, you nod your head as in yes.
the man chuckled and said, “Well, to be honest with you, every time, one of the ladies in town would come up and talk to me.
They wanted to know if I would make copies of my wife’s cookbook and share her secret recipes. They had coveted them for many years. And so I said yes of course I would share them.
And all the men just wanted to know if my mule was for sale.”
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Ultimate Clemson Legend [102417]
TigerPulse: 100%
64
Posts: 26385
Joined: 2006
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lol, +1***
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May 29, 2025, 11:49 AM
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Replies: 7
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