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Replies: 12
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Ring of Honor [22700]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Dynasty Maker [3421]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Tardy Tuesday 'Dad Joke' poasts...strap in!
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May 13, 2025, 9:27 AM
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I have a meeting at the bank later and if all goes well, I will be out of debt! I'm so excited, I can hardly put on my stocking mask! :0)
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Ultimate Clemson Legend [101400]
TigerPulse: 100%
64
Posts: 26254
Joined: 2006
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What's brown and sticky? A stick.
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May 13, 2025, 9:38 AM
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I hated facial hair but then it grew on me.
It really takes guts to be an organ donor.
What did the plumber say to the singer? Nice pipes.
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Ultimate Tiger [37607]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Tardy Tuesday 'Dad Joke' poasts...strap in!
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May 13, 2025, 9:47 AM
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A guy met an attractive 60 year old woman at a bar one night.
She was very sexy, so the guy thought that if she had a daughter, she would look good as well.
They had a few drinks together, and the woman asked if he has ever had a thing called the Sportsman’s Double.
“What’s that?” The man asked.
“It’s a mother and daughter threesome,” the woman replied.
He was really thinking that this could be his lucky night!
They went back to the woman’s place.
The guy could barely hold his excitement.
When the woman opened the door, she shouted upstairs, “Mother, are you still awake?”
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TigerNet Elite [72975]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Tardy Tuesday 'Dad Joke' poasts...strap in!
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May 13, 2025, 9:47 AM
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"My wife is a Sex Object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects."
"An attractive young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the priest beside her, 'Father, may I ask a favor?'"
"'Of course, child,' the priest says. 'What may I do for you?'
'Well, I bought my mother an expensive hair dryer for her birthday. It is unopened but well over the customs limits and I'm afraid they'll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Hide it under your robes perhaps?'
'I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you, I will not lie.'
'With your honest face, Father, no one will question you,' she replied.
When they got to customs, she let the priest go first. The official asked, 'Father, do you have anything to declare?'
'From the top of my head down to my waist I have nothing to declare.'
The official thought this answer strange, so he asked, 'And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?'
Father replied, 'I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, which is, to date, unused.'
Roaring with laughter, the official said, 'Go ahead, Father. Next please!'"
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Game Day Hero [4554]
TigerPulse: 70%
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Re: Tardy Tuesday 'Dad Joke' poasts...strap in!
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May 13, 2025, 9:50 AM
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good ones
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Ring of Honor [23590]
TigerPulse: 100%
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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded on a deserted island.
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May 13, 2025, 10:19 AM
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They find an old lamp, rub it, and a genie pops out to give them each one wish. The brunette says she misses her parents and siblings and wants to go home. Poof, she's gone. The redhead says she misses her husband and kids and wants to go home. Poof, gone. The blonde says "Ah jeez, I miss my friends, I wish they'd come back".
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Ultimate Tiger [37607]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded on a deserted island.
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May 13, 2025, 12:26 PM
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Freaking hilarious dark side of the moo®!!
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Ultimate Tiger [34099]
TigerPulse: 100%
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I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not sure.
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May 13, 2025, 10:24 AM
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I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was. She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
Did you hear the one about the guy with the broken hearing aid? Neither did he.
I couldn't figure out how the seat belt worked, but then it just clicked.
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Top TigerNet [31906]
TigerPulse: 100%
55
Posts: 16414
Joined: 2015
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What do you call two ducks and a cow?
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May 13, 2025, 11:14 AM
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Quackers and milk...
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Valley Protector [1419]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Tardy Tuesday 'Dad Joke' poasts...strap in!
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May 13, 2025, 12:03 PM
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If you have 50 female pigs and 50 male deer, what do you have? 100 sows and bucks. I feel richer already.....
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Ring of Honor [22700]
TigerPulse: 100%
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This crowd brought
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May 13, 2025, 12:45 PM
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Their 'A' Game today! I can't recall laughing this much at so many. Well done! 
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Ultimate Tiger [33890]
TigerPulse: 100%
56
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Joined: 2014
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Re: Tardy Tuesday 'Dad Joke' poasts...strap in!
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May 13, 2025, 1:35 PM
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An Indian introduced me to his wife....
"This is four horses.....'
I said, wow
That's a beautiful name, What does it mean....?
He said,
nag,nag,
Charlie was installing a new door and he found that one of the hinges was missing.
He asked his wife Mary if she would go to the hardware store and pick one up. He wrote down what was required.
Mary agreed to go. While she was waiting for the attendant to finish serving a customer, her eye caught a beautiful bathroom tap.
When he was finished, Mary asked him, "How much is that bath tap?" He replied, "That's a gold plated bath tap Madam and the price is $5,000" Mary exclaimed, "My goodness, that is very expensive and it's certainly out of my price range"
She handed the attendant the description of the hinge Charlie had sent her to buy. Yes, said the attendant, they had them in stock and he went into the storeroom to get one.
From the storeroom he yelled,
"Madam, do you wanna screw for the hinge?"
Mary paused for a moment and then shouted back “No, but I will for the bath tap”.
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