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Replies: 6
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Clemson Icon [24825]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 2014
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It's the 'Speed bump' day of the week...hurdle it with 'Dad Jokes'!
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Jun 25, 2025, 8:50 AM
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Yep...cresting the work week...well, some of you. Others of us, we crested the 'Career Mountain' and settled in the 'Valley of Chill'. Don't be jealous...your time is coming.
Husband and wife are having dinner at a fine restaurant when an absolutely stunning woman approaches their table and gives the husband a big kiss...tells him she'll see him later...and strolls away.
The wife glares and demands, "Who was that?!?" "She's my mistress," replies the husband. "That's it! I want a divorce," proclaims the wife.
"I understand," he says, "But remember, there will be no more Paris shopping trips, no wintering in the Caribbean, nor Mercedes in the garage....or country club. The decision is yours."
Just then, the wife notices a mutual friend entering, with a gorgeous woman on his arm. "Who's that woman with John?", she asked. "That's his mistress," hubby replied.
"Oh! Ours is prettier!", she proclaimed. 
During my check-up I asked the doctor, "Do you think I'll live a long and happy life?"
"I doubt it somehow. Mercury is in Uranus right now.", he answered.
"I don't go for that astrology nonsense," I replied.
"Neither do I. My thermometer just broke!" 
Flatten all humps in your way, Tiger Nation!
Message was edited by: Salty55®
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Tiger Titan [50262]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: It's the 'Speed bump' day of the week...hurdle it with 'Dad Jokes'!
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Jun 25, 2025, 8:51 AM
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The other morning, I heard my wife call out to me from the other room. She asked “Do you ever get a shooting pain across your chest…like someone’s got a voodoo doll of you and they're stabbing it with a needle?'
I said, “No!”
Then she asked, “How about now?”
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Tiger Titan [45844]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: It's the 'Speed bump' day of the week...hurdle it with 'Dad Jokes'!
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Jun 25, 2025, 9:02 AM
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The sound from a musician on stage bounces off the auditorium walls to surround the audience.
The sound from a pigeon on stage does not do this.
The reason is a coo sticks!
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TigerNet Immortal [177187]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 2012
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Yes....it's that HOT!!
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Jun 25, 2025, 9:04 AM
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Go Tigers!!!
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TigerNet Elite [76658]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: It's the 'Speed bump' day of the week...hurdle it with 'Dad Jokes'!
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Jun 25, 2025, 9:05 AM
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Two cowboys are out on the range talking about their favorite sex position. One says, "I think I enjoy the rodeo position the best." "I don't think I have ever heard of that one," says the other cowboy. "What is it?" "Well, it's where you get your girl down on all four, and you mount her from behind. Then you reach around, cup her tatas, and whisper in her ear, 'boy these feel almost as nice as your sisters.' Then you try and hold on for 30 seconds."
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Ultimate Clemson Legend [103697]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Posts: 26509
Joined: 2006
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lol, +1***
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Jun 25, 2025, 9:14 AM
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CU Medallion [18285]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: It's the 'Speed bump' day of the week...hurdle it with 'Dad Jokes'!
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Jun 25, 2025, 9:14 AM
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The meteorologist who came up with the wind chill factor passed away. He was 86, but he felt like 75.
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Replies: 6
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