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Clemson Icon [24606]
TigerPulse: 100%
54
Posts: 10041
Joined: 2014
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It's Monday...let's laugh at ourselves, 'Dad Joke' style!
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Jun 23, 2025, 9:06 AM
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Let's get the gorilla in the room out of the way: there are folks who will not be happy until the Apocalypse is on PPV. 
So...old age IS a thing: last night, I was in bed for 20 minutes when I heard the pizza guy cough downstairs. Then I remembered I came to my room to get my wallet.
If bed bugs were named because they're found on beds...then WHO the heck named cockroaches? Who!?!
Alright...a life choice message:
In a 17 year span, 114 folks passed away at the gym...while only ONE passed away eating a doughnut. Choices, people...choices! 
In closing...why is there anger management, but no stupidity management? You can be stupid, but I can't be angry? We're to ignore why I'm angry with your stupidity?!?
Rock the day...own this week, Tiger Nation! Most of all, be happy! It's worth the effort!
Message was edited by: Salty55®
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TigerNet Elite [76293]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: It's Monday...let's laugh at ourselves, 'Dad Joke' style!
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Jun 23, 2025, 9:10 AM
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There is an overweight guy who is watching TV. A commercial comes on for a guaranteed weight loss of 10 pounds in a week. So the guy, thinking what the hell, signs up for it. Next morning an incredibly beautiful woman is standing at his door in nothing but a pair of running shoes and a sign about her neck that reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me." As soon as he sees her, she takes off running. He tries to catch her, but is unable. This continues for a week, at the end of which, the man has lost 10 pounds. After this he tries the next weight loss plan, 15 pounds in a week. The next morning an even more beautiful woman is standing at the door, in similar conditions. The same happens with her as the first woman, except he almost catches her. This continues for a week, at the end of which he, as suspected, weighs 15 pounds less. Excited about this success, he decides to do the master program. Before he signs up, he is required to sign a waiver and is warned about the intensity of this plan. Still he signs up. The next morning, waiting at the door, is a hulking 300 pound muscle man with nothing but a pair of running shoes, a raging erection, and a sign around his neck that says, "If I catch you, you're mine!" The man was supposed to lose 25 pounds in the week; he lost 34.
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Clemson Icon [24606]
TigerPulse: 100%
54
Posts: 10041
Joined: 2014
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Ultimate Clemson Legend [103375]
TigerPulse: 100%
64
Posts: 26481
Joined: 2006
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lol, +1***
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Jun 23, 2025, 9:19 AM
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Ultimate Tiger [35921]
TigerPulse: 100%
56
Posts: 14602
Joined: 2014
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Re: It's Monday...let's laugh at ourselves, 'Dad Joke' style!
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Jun 23, 2025, 9:31 AM
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I'm developing a new fragrance for introverts.
It's called: "Leave me the fuh cologne."
I went to an antique auction Saturday.
3 people tried to bid on me.
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Heisman Winner [81468]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: It's Monday...let's laugh at ourselves, 'Dad Joke' style!
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Jun 23, 2025, 9:34 AM
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Ultimate Tiger [35801]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Describe myself in three words... "Lazy".
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Jun 23, 2025, 9:37 AM
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I watched a documentary on Netflix last night about U-Haul. It was moving. In fact, it was vantastic. They were really thinking outside the box. My son said even the trailer was pretty good, but I could have towed him that.
The CEO of IKEA has become the prime minister of Sweden. He is currently assembling his cabinet. He is also looking for a chairman. Some expect Allen Wrench to be a key factor as well as Phillips Head. (grrr!)
I discovered my electric toothbrush wasn’t waterproof. I was shocked. It was nearly a brush with death.
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Heisman Winner [84391]
TigerPulse: 100%
62
Posts: 21119
Joined: 2008
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Re: It's Monday...let's laugh at ourselves, 'Dad Joke' style!
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Jun 23, 2025, 10:25 AM
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Thar second one hits home like a hammer!
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Walk-On [77]
TigerPulse: 93%
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Re: It's Monday...let's laugh at ourselves, 'Dad Joke' style!
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Jun 23, 2025, 11:52 AM
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About the cockroaches, look no further than our counterparts in Columbia!
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Game Changer [1827]
TigerPulse: 99%
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Re: It's Monday...let's laugh at ourselves, 'Dad Joke' style!
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Jun 23, 2025, 12:56 PM
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Man walks in to a hotel to check in and after checking in he asked the nice lady that he would like his #### disabled.. she says we only have regular #### you sick Bass Terd!!
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Solid Orange [1378]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: It's Monday...let's laugh at ourselves, 'Dad Joke' style!
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Jun 23, 2025, 4:07 PM
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I just had a physical. The doctor said, “ Don’t eat anything fatty.
I said, “Like bacon and cheeseburgers?”
He said, “No,fatty. Don’t eat anything.”
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