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All-In [28802]
TigerPulse: 100%
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What say you, lunge?
Aug 21, 2013, 6:15 PM
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So I've been dating this girl since May, and she mentioned that she wanted to go out on a date night. We joked around about who would pay, but I assumed I would be paying if we were making a special date for dinner. However, she apparently didn't get my joking around about equality of the sexes, and spouts off with something like "Well, if you're not paying then forget about date night."
I ask her where that had come from, and it turns out that a good male friend of hers had "pulled her aside" after we split a check at dinner one time (this is out with friends, not on a date) and said something about me not paying and asked "what that implied." This is a guy who likes to make a big deal of always paying for things, and clearly takes it as a point of pride. Of course, that changed things from me wanting to do something for her to me feeling indignant about her friend being nosy and having the temerity to say something about our relationship that he knew nothing about. As the conversation goes on, she tells me that she's talked with her female friends about it also. Now, that doesn't bother me as much as the guy saying something, but it's still awfully nosy to be looking at who's paying a check.
She does apparently want me to pay more often, even though I do pretty frequently pick up little treats for her and pay for dinner and/ or drinks every once in a while. She says she just wants to feel taken care of every once in a while. I'm mostly fine with that, although she's six years younger than me and makes more than me (she works corporate, while I slave away in the non- profit world). I absolutely think I should pay when we're on dates, or for most of her drinks. However, I think it's really, really intrusive for a guy to make comments about me paying or not paying for a bill, and pretty intrusive for her girlfriends to be watching too.
Am I wrong to be especially pissed about her guy friend saying something to her? I don't think guys comment on what other guys buy or don't buy for their girlfriends unless they're trying to say something a little bit more. And what's up with these nosy women checking to see who's paying for a check?
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All-In [30493]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Kill him then burn his house down.
Aug 21, 2013, 6:18 PM
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pigs of said gal!
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All-In [28802]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Kill him then burn his house down.
Aug 21, 2013, 6:24 PM
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You can find pigs in my post history.
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Oculus Spirit [81925]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Man, that is just too hard, that doesn't count!***
Aug 21, 2013, 6:27 PM
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CU Medallion [54758]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Does this guy own his own house?
Aug 21, 2013, 6:19 PM
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I think you know where this is going....
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Lot o points [181042]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 94660
Joined: 12/5/10
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Run.***
Aug 21, 2013, 6:19 PM
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110%er [6944]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 11/30/98
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^^^^This is the answer...........
Aug 21, 2013, 7:02 PM
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if she's listening to other dudes and other girlfriends, she's opening up your relationship and this intrusion will only get worse with time. Relationships are private and you either get it or you don't. She obviously doesn't. If this intrusion is what you want for the future....stay with her. But, if you want your personal affairs to remain thay way....run.....because leopard's spots never change, they just fade a little!
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All-In [30493]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 62658
Joined: 10/4/99
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And, sometimes running is a hard thing to do.
Aug 21, 2013, 7:08 PM
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I know.
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110%er [9785]
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that's because you need a cane***
Aug 21, 2013, 7:10 PM
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All-In [30493]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 10/4/99
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If I could catch you, I might could kick your ####.***
Aug 21, 2013, 7:12 PM
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110%er [9785]
TigerPulse: 100%
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we"d both die of heart attacks
Aug 21, 2013, 7:15 PM
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;-P
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All-In [30493]
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Pretty much. I need a Ga ticket. You got one?***
Aug 21, 2013, 7:18 PM
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110%er [9785]
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not at moment***
Aug 21, 2013, 7:22 PM
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All-In [30493]
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Well, what good are ya?***
Aug 21, 2013, 8:01 PM
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110%er [9785]
TigerPulse: 100%
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juan meeeelllion doughlars***
Aug 21, 2013, 8:06 PM
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Heisman Winner [112363]
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You two aren't right! *******
Aug 21, 2013, 8:16 PM
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All-In [45047]
TigerPulse: 100%
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You just now figure that out?
Aug 22, 2013, 10:37 AM
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I have only met them one time and I knew right away something was wrong with them! 
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110%er [9785]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 8/21/02
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I would second this advice
Aug 21, 2013, 7:09 PM
[ in reply to Run.*** ] |
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Run don't look back
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Oculus Spirit [97772]
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Re: I would third this advice
Aug 21, 2013, 8:52 PM
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Really. RUUUUUUNNNNNNNN NOW!
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All-In [38925]
TigerPulse: 100%
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women are going to be nosy, its in our nature...
Aug 21, 2013, 6:20 PM
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its your gf's place to tell them all male/female.. that
its none of their business and that the understanding/arrangement about paying works for y'all.
And if she can't do that, then its time to move on. Because this will only be the first time she lets them but in.
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All-In [28802]
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Right...
Aug 21, 2013, 6:22 PM
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I guess she does apparently want me to pay for more stuff, but she's never said anything about it until today, and it came along with telling me about her nosy friends. Strange thing is, I do pay pretty often, even though we're not on an official "date," and even though she makes a good bit more than me.
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All-In [38925]
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well maybe
Aug 21, 2013, 6:29 PM
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she trying to save her money for shoe shopping day with the girls. 
Back in the day.. if I asked to do something, I paid.
If he asked me to do something, he paid.
If we were running with friends, each their own.
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Oculus Spirit [81925]
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Wait, back in your day, I thought guys paid for everything,
Aug 21, 2013, 6:31 PM
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opened doors, laid their jackets in the puddle for you to cross, etc.
But seriously, that seems the absolute most logical and sensical thing to do.
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All-In [30493]
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Joined: 10/4/99
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We still do.***
Aug 21, 2013, 6:32 PM
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All-In [30493]
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I also stand when she returns from the ladies room and help
Aug 21, 2013, 6:33 PM
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her with her chair.
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All-In [38925]
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I wouldn't trust you with my chair.***
Aug 21, 2013, 6:36 PM
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All-In [30493]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 10/4/99
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Dayum!***
Aug 21, 2013, 6:38 PM
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All-In [38925]
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the first I ever went to a fancy eating place
Aug 21, 2013, 6:43 PM
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the male host seated us, did the chair thing for my mom, then started to put my napkin in my lap... you could hear my dad GASP when my hand came up at the guy.
All I did was take the napkin and tell him, "I can handle that myself".
CSB
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All-In [30493]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 10/4/99
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Well, I don't do the napkin thing. But, I was brought up to
Aug 21, 2013, 6:52 PM
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try and be a gentleman - like open the door for her, help her with her chair, when walking on the sidewalk, walk between her and the traffic.
I guess I'm old fashioned.
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Oculus Spirit [75764]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 10/26/03
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I've noticed something odd lately. Most of the women I know
Aug 21, 2013, 11:17 PM
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seem to enjoy walking in front of me, thus being in the way so I can't open the door for them.
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All-In [38925]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 22731
Joined: 3/17/11
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Hall of Famer [23693]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Oculus Spirit [81925]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 47122
Joined: 3/18/07
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My wife pays for all food when we go out, it's awesome.
Aug 21, 2013, 6:21 PM
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But for serious your issue...something is wrong with her communication structure to let slip personal relationship matters...
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All-In [28802]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 11/14/03
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Re: My wife pays for all food when we go out, it's awesome.
Aug 21, 2013, 6:23 PM
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She's not the one who brought it up, this guy just "pulled her aside" and said something. I told her I thought that was pretty rude, but she didn't think it was because she agreed with him, apparently.
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Oculus Spirit [81925]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 3/18/07
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Ah, misread that part. Yea, definitely rude on the guy for
Aug 21, 2013, 6:26 PM
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thinking that, and slightly worried that your g/f agrees.
Splitting the check whenever in a group setting is perfectly acceptable, especially whenever you're freaking adults.
Whenever in a dating setting, there shouldn't be a problem splitting checks or alternating who pays. Considering she makes more than you, I find it odd she is under the principle that men should pay for everything...that's like having your cake and eating it too.
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Lot o points [163012]
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All-In [49195]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 8/10/02
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^^^this.***
Aug 21, 2013, 7:58 PM
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Legend [18026]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 9/9/06
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The fact she holds her friends opinions over yours
Aug 21, 2013, 6:24 PM
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is the bigger problem here.
I'm guessing she's in her early 20s? Persons of that age are either SUPER committed or just looking for fun.
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110%er [6101]
TigerPulse: 85%
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Joined: 11/1/11
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Re: Show her the door
Aug 21, 2013, 6:26 PM
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after you boink one of her friends.
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All-TigerNet [11208]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 2/2/03
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Point, for temerity. Enrich your word power.***
Aug 21, 2013, 6:27 PM
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110%er [5915]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 11/30/98
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Two Questions
Aug 21, 2013, 6:44 PM
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Are you her friend with benefits?
Pictures?
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All-In [28802]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 58393
Joined: 11/14/03
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Re: Two Questions
Aug 21, 2013, 6:45 PM
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1. Na, been exclusive since May.
2. As I told others, you'll have to look through my post history for pigs.
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Rock Defender [54]
TigerPulse: 90%
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Joined: 11/30/98
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Hey honey, lets say I send you out with my checkbook?
Aug 21, 2013, 7:24 PM
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because obviously it is more important to spend time with my money than it is to spend time with me.
There are literally a billion like her.
Move on.
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Heisman Winner [138032]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 10/22/00
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Vernon here's got a job.
Aug 21, 2013, 7:43 PM
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Vernon's got prospects. He's bona fide. What are you, camcgee?
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CU Guru [1321]
TigerPulse: 97%
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Joined: 11/27/11
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Apparently, the best thing he ever did was get hit by that
Aug 21, 2013, 9:54 PM
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train.
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Rock Defender [54]
TigerPulse: 90%
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she's cuckolding you
Aug 21, 2013, 7:46 PM
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fack
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110%er [6155]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 10/15/01
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Just split the #### check. If she expects you to pay then
Aug 21, 2013, 9:07 PM
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you need to throw her away.
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110%er [6272]
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Joined: 9/21/03
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sounds like a no win for you
Aug 21, 2013, 9:23 PM
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good luck.
a lot of good advice here.
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Hall of Famer [23693]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 36824
Joined: 8/19/03
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Three peoples in a relationship don't work.
Aug 21, 2013, 9:30 PM
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That looser needs a serious ### whoopin'.
Figuratively speaking, and with all respect and Christ'n love.
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Oculus Spirit [75764]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 10/26/03
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Not as bad as what happened to me today.
Aug 21, 2013, 10:11 PM
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You may recall stories about new years eve girl.
The reason we never dated was she had a boyfriend I didn't know about at the time she seduced me. This buffoon never did treat her right but she was dumb and would not split up with him. I behaved myself. Well a few weeks ago he goes off to national guard boot camp without seeing her for two weeks or even talking to her.
I've asked her out a few times since then but it hasn't panned out. Yesterday she comes over to look at some real estate stuff. She could have had her way with me afterwards but did not.
Today I get a text asking if she could come over and kiss me. I'm thinking she knew she missed a chance last night and was trying to be cute. Before I can respond she sends some ######## about auto-correct.
So not only is she a tease, she has been lying to me about somebody for a least a month and allowing me to look foolish.
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All-In [49195]
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no it's not, as near as I can tell from your post.***
Aug 21, 2013, 11:13 PM
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Rock Defender [54]
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Oculus Spirit [75764]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 10/26/03
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Re: At least you have nood pics of her.***
Aug 22, 2013, 10:30 AM
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That's the spirit.
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All-In [33418]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 2/20/04
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Am in the right place? The biggest issue is clearly the bro
Aug 22, 2013, 12:09 AM
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who is overstepping the boundaries big time...at worst he is violating major bro code. But it's more likely he's trying to snake your girl through friend mode.
How you want to handle the girl isn't the issue, just put the girl in her place about the whole thing...but you need to squash this "friend relationship" if you want to keep seeing this chick. He's not interested in the friendship
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All-In [28802]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 58393
Joined: 11/14/03
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Agreed that he's majorly breaking bro code
Aug 22, 2013, 1:11 AM
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But I know this guy fairly well, and I don't think he's consciously trying to snake her. On the other hand, he's a silly enough person to think he's a big man because he throws money around.
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Oculus Spirit [75764]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 108871
Joined: 10/26/03
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Sure he is trying to snake her. If he weren't, he'd try to
Aug 22, 2013, 8:43 AM
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quickly get out of the conversation that would potentially make you look bad.
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All-In [40353]
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he's just going to get friend zoned.***
Aug 22, 2013, 11:01 AM
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Oculus Spirit [75764]
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Possibly, but not always. Only one or two of the single
Aug 22, 2013, 11:10 AM
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ladies who've tried to friend zone me have managed to keep it that way.
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All-In [40353]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 7/13/12
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so you are friends with cam's girl?
Aug 22, 2013, 12:24 PM
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and trying to snake her and giving bunk advice?
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Oculus Spirit [75764]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 10/26/03
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No, but if I moved to Chicago, I maybe would do this.
Aug 22, 2013, 12:30 PM
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Only because he has failed at getting a job at Al's Beef and reporting back how to make it and he has failed at telling me if Big Hurt Beer is any good at all.
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Commissioner [907]
TigerPulse: 99%
Posts: 984
Joined: 10/10/11
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Re: What say you, lunge?
Aug 22, 2013, 7:53 AM
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Tell her simply....other people don't get to vote on our relationship. Their opinion of "us" doesn't count. Period.
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All-TigerNet [12066]
TigerPulse: 83%
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Joined: 1/29/09
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The guy is a ##### and needs an asswhipping
Aug 22, 2013, 8:06 AM
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Tell your girlfriend you like to be taken care of every once in a while too and then whip it out.
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All-In [28802]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 58393
Joined: 11/14/03
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lulz... winner***
Aug 22, 2013, 11:30 AM
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nfm
Message was edited by: camcgee®
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All-In [40353]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 23466
Joined: 7/13/12
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6 month Anny not until November
Aug 22, 2013, 9:09 AM
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Why date night now?
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Ring of Honor [32958]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 3/5/02
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Probably my own insecurity speaking, but I 'd think you'd be
Aug 22, 2013, 11:13 AM
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more concerned over him telling her this while taking her to pound town.
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Legend [17753]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 5/13/02
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Does she take calls from him during #####?***
Aug 22, 2013, 11:14 AM
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All-In [45047]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 38460
Joined: 8/26/03
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Is he a Marine and is he bagging her clippings?
Aug 22, 2013, 11:28 AM
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That may be the real kwashon here!
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50
