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Orange Blooded [3413]
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The glorious and triumphant return of Judge Keller
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Mar 26, 2023, 9:56 AM
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Viztiz and his army of counter-revolutionaries have been ransacking the countryside while Judge Keller remains locked away in his castle stronghold. Ole Mike and Morbidtiger have ambushed and surrounded valleyboy and Cobbox and it appears no reinforcements, save for clemson mountaineers, have been mustered to relieve the weeklong siege.
Judge Keller, if you're reading this, come back to us. Your kingdom is in flames (or 'en fuego' as they say in Andalusia). DSP will also emerge from the shadows on easter sunday (coincidence?) and be looking to enter the fight. We must welcome the court jester (DSP) into the fold and combine forces for one last grand charge that will smite the rebel forces and end this conflict.
Will there ever be peace in our time?
p.s. where is Graham Neff during all of this? He's yarfing his guts out before the lords of porcelain after eating a skunked order of grilled salmon from applebee's.
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Legend [16900]
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Re: The glorious and triumphant return of Judge Keller
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Mar 26, 2023, 9:58 AM
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Surrender Brownell and this ends with no further bloodshed.
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Orange Blooded [3413]
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Re: The glorious and triumphant return of Judge Keller
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Mar 26, 2023, 11:00 AM
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Team Captain [476]
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Re: The glorious and triumphant return of Judge Keller
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Mar 26, 2023, 2:33 PM
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Judge Keller is French. How do think he got that outrageous accent?
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CU Guru [1487]
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Hall of Famer [22435]
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Re: The glorious and triumphant return of Judge Keller
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Mar 26, 2023, 10:08 AM
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+1 for the Holy Grail clip. I can hear the horses hooves. 😂
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CU Guru [1181]
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Re: The glorious and triumphant return of Judge Keller
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Mar 26, 2023, 11:25 AM
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Holy Grail clip made me laugh! Thanks!
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All-TigerNet [13421]
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Re: The glorious and triumphant return of Judge Keller
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Mar 26, 2023, 10:09 AM
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You should enjoy this time of peace and tranquility. Football snark is right around the corner. I predict a triumphant return for the Spring game.
You've been warned...
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110%er [7927]
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Re: The glorious and triumphant return of Judge Keller
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Mar 26, 2023, 10:12 AM
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He has been here many times but under assumed names.
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Standout [340]
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The knighted assume nothing
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Mar 26, 2023, 10:41 AM
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and the Keller’s insanity easily unmasks him. Contrary to the blitherings of the Viz of Oz, there have been no pacts fore sworn, and blood in the streets awaits.
Would it be that The Neff, and his mental minion, Brownlee of Minor Wilmington, would capitulate the throne so that uprising was not necessary. Rather, the Year of the ###### 14 has been previously and unceremoniously taxed upon the people, without regard the calamitous loss at NIT. Their mood, then, will not be so easily salved.
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Team Captain [476]
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CU Guru [1487]
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Joined: 1/2/23
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All-TigerNet [10599]
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Re: The glorious and triumphant return of Judge Keller
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Mar 26, 2023, 10:30 AM
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He will be back in 2026 when we lose our first football game in 3 years to tell us that he was right and the football program does suck!
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110%er [6510]
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Re: The glorious and triumphant return of Judge Keller
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Mar 26, 2023, 10:37 AM
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There’s so much optimism in this I cannot deny
Go Tigers! All teams All In!
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Legend [16900]
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Re: The glorious and triumphant return of Judge Keller
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Mar 26, 2023, 10:38 AM
[ in reply to Re: The glorious and triumphant return of Judge Keller ] |
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In 2026, Brad will have 6 years remaining on his extension from 2024 after guiding Clemson to the NIT second round - a clear sign of progress. The basketball operations facility will be open but, prior to the ribbon cutting, Neff will explain that a new coliseum will be required if we ever expect to move past being an NIT tier team. Judge Keller will have chimed in to let us know the proposed $400 million coliseum is not nearly enough to be competitive with perennial basketball powers and is yet another sign of Clemson's lack of commitment to the sport. Oh, and Brad's salary stands at $7 million a year.
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Orange Blooded [3621]
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Re: The glorious and triumphant return of Judge Keller
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Mar 26, 2023, 2:16 PM
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Like an ol’ Stealers Wheel song - “Stuck in the Middle with You” …
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Standout [340]
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I would suggest that JK is much more the panty-waist so as
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Mar 26, 2023, 10:50 AM
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to be known as the Court Jester. Fools in jingly shoes all act the same.
The Lord DSP is currently answering to the calls of Duke of Nottin-here-at-the-moment.
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Legend [16213]
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No need to summon the Clemson spirit sucking vampire
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Mar 26, 2023, 10:51 AM
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that constitutes that troll. She will strike again when any perceived adversity aka darkness presents itself.
Right now she is most likely wallowing in the joy of having yet another basketball season ahead doomed to the tepid malaise that is the Brown L era, and the angst that has caused among the Clemson faithful.
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Orange Blooded [4035]
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Is like saying Beetlejuice 3 times. Don’t do it.
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Mar 26, 2023, 10:55 AM
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The world is a better place without his football, softball, charity hating posts - not to mention his lies about why Brad can’t be successful.
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Legend [16810]
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Re: The glorious and triumphant return of Judge Keller
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Mar 26, 2023, 12:01 PM
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clemson mountaineer got the banhammer!!!!!!!!!!!!
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CU Guru [1487]
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Awe, that's too bad. I'm sure she'll soon have another scok to defend mediocrity.***
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Mar 26, 2023, 4:10 PM
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Standout [340]
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Joined: 6/12/20
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The dawn has broken in a fit of passion that bedevils and
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Mar 26, 2023, 12:44 PM
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confuses the people. A gale from the West brings word that the great Dragon, Gorgonzola, has been slain. And with it, news that The Few, a knight of immense powers, might yet travel eastward.
But The Neff remains silent, and the Jester Keller is in hiding. Gossip, thick as wolfpack gravy, rumbles throughout the hills, but there remains no telling to the end of Brownlee.
After fervent but dutiful tithing at the New-spring of Hope, the people wait for a sign - a cart of belongings glimpsed at the Gates to Seneca, or even a head to roll - but the sign comes nither. The people are a-twitter....
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Standout [340]
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Joined: 6/12/20
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The Lords Geoffrey of Crump and Guinevere's BMeist
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Mar 26, 2023, 1:05 PM
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rule long over the slums. But as the depth of the people's despair weighs heavy over the morning, the Lords also fear the growing popular unease.
So a talisman - the beheading of the Mountaineer - is arranged as an offering, mere banishment being insufficient. Over-garbed in multi-folds of thick brown wool so as to be unrecognizable, The Bob wields his simmering Scythe with relish; and it is done.
The people are mollified for the moment...
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Orange Blooded [3413]
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Re: The Lords Geoffrey of Crump and Guinevere's BMeist
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Mar 26, 2023, 2:21 PM
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I would strongly urge you to spurn your allegiances and defect from your current faction. After speaking with the High Council, we have decided to offer you clemency in exchange for the names and locations of your compatriots. Should you decline, we must immediately cease all further correspondences as we prepare to bury our fallen lieutenant, clemson mountaineer.
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Standout [340]
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Good King Dabo has long ruled over a prosperous and
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Mar 26, 2023, 3:38 PM
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contented land. Indeed, the people dwelled happily for years as the Tigers routinely ruled over the most prominent of Tournaments. Legends such as Saban the Impenetrable and the Sorcerer Spurrier were heartily vanquished. The rivals to the South, the Coots of Lumbia, raised barely even a contest, and were banished to the Land of Never Again. The people cheered and filled cavernous stadia, and were rewarded un-taxed pizza for their loyalty. It was the Golden Age of Tigers - and none dared to fathom that it might one day come to short end.
But with the rise of the Jester Joe Burreaux, ably guilded by the Ogre Orgeron, Sir Lawrence the Golden-Mane eventually departed. The sturdy Knight from a foreign island kingdom, Uiagalelei, proved to be a pious man. But he lacked the sword mastery of the generational Lawrence, and soon, the kingdom was reduced to eating cheezits instead of enjoying a plenty of mutton and wine.
The Faith of the Good King was not disturbed, but the people were not so strong. They turned on their newest Knight, and in so doing lost their way. So it was not long before the kingdom was rampant with ill moods, ill-conceivings, turmoil, and treachery. The Jester Keller could have asked for no better home, and he disingenuously extolled his benefactors time and again, even as they failed to provide the merest of conquests.
When the people questioned, they were rebuked with a litany of falsehoods. When they complained, they were charged of more taxes than even the smallest of kingdoms were burdened. When the people harried the castle's walls, they were rewarded with a routine of sodomy. It was a time of spies and deceivers, and the people were oft-encouraged to turn on even their own families.
Many gnashed their teeth and wrenched their hair. Many forsake the Faith and petitioned to foreign gods. But the good King and his truly faithful yet have something to say, and it is quite evident that the Brownlee of Minor Wilmington will not survive. It is only a matter of time.
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Orange Blooded [3371]
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Re: Good King Dabo has long ruled over a prosperous and
Mar 26, 2023, 4:16 PM
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Huh?
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Legend [17520]
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