Replies: 22
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TigerNet Champion [121111]
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I have heard that some of you are having trouble finding
Mar 18, 2020, 6:53 PM
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toilet paper at the store. Before I get into my list of top 15 leaves for wiping, I know that smooth stones and news paper also work.
1. Big Leaf Aster Leaves (aka Eurybia Macrophylla, Lumberjack’s Toilet Paper)
Large, smooth, heart-shaped leaves Found in abundance across the northern parts of the eastern and central United States, the southern parts of eastern and central Canada and northern Europe
2. Big Leaf Magnolia Leaves (aka Magnolia Macrophylla)
Large smooth leaves Grows in sunny environment, able to survive in low light conditions Found in southeastern United States and eastern Mexico
3. Big Leaf Maple Leaves (aka Acer Macrophyllum, Oregon Maple)
Other varieties include striped maple, sugar maple, vine maple Typically large, soft leaves with no irritable hairs Grows in wet areas, close to streams Found in western North America
4. Broadleaf Plantain (aka Plantago Major, White Man’s Foot, Greater Plantain)
Large, smooth, oval leaves Sturdy leaves, unlikely to tear during use Has medicinal properties Grow in lawns, fields and roadsides Found in many areas around the world
5. Butterbur (aka Petasites Japonicus, Giant Butterbur, Great Butterbur, Sweet-coltsfoot)
Large, soft leaves Found in China, Japan, Korea, Europe, North America and Canada
6. Corn Lily Leaves (aka Veratrum Californicum)
Large leaves Sturdy leaves, unlikely to tear during use Grows in open meadows Found in West America
7. Cottonwood Leaves
Large, smooth leaves Slightly tough leaves, unlikely to tear during use Slight numbing properties, leaves can also be used as bandages
8. Dock Leaves (aka Rumex Obtusifolius, Bitter Dock, Broad-leaved Dock, Bluntleaf Dock, Butter Dock)
Large, slightly rough, oval leaves Grows in meadows, waste ground, roadsides, drains, shorelines Found in Europe, United States, Australia, New Zealand and many areas around the world
9. Hazel Leaves (aka Corylus)
Small, fuzzy, soft leaves The fuzz on the leaves might be irritating for people with sensitive skin Grows in many areas around the world
10. Mullein (aka Verbascum Thapsus, Cowboy Toilet Paper)
Large, soft, fuzzy, absorbent leaves Thick leaves, unlikely to tear during use Leaves are antiseptic and astringent The fuzz on the leaves might be irritating for people with sensitive skin Grows in sunny areas Found in most areas around the world
11. Red Mulberry (aka Morus Rubra)
Large, soft leaves (the underside is soft while the upper side is rough) Found in eastern and central North America and Canada
12. Thimbleberry Leaves (aka Rubus Parviflorus)
Large, soft leaves Identifiable from large toothed leaves, thimble-like fruit, and white flowers Grows in roadsides, railroads, wet areas near streams and water bodies Found in western and eastern North America
13. Wooly Lamb’s Ear Leaves (aka Stachys Byzantina)
Soft, fuzzy, absorbent leaves Thick leaves, unlikely to tear during use Has medicinal properties, can be used as bandages Found in most of United States, Turkey, Armenia, and Iran
14. Moss
Soft, smooth, absorbent The moisture from the moss might help in cleaning But you might end up with bits of moss left behind on skin surfaces
15. Variety Of Vegetables such as Lettuce, Corn Husks etc
Usually large, smooth leaves
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Heisman Winner [79984]
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Re: I have heard that some of you are having trouble finding
Mar 18, 2020, 6:56 PM
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I know I’m on ignore, but I always heard succulents made the best substitute. This can range from aloe Vera to types of cactus.
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All-In [10784]
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Re: I have heard that some of you are having trouble finding
Mar 20, 2020, 10:10 AM
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Yeah, careful with the iceberg lettuce, it will give you a wedgie!
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Hall of Famer [22127]
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Re: I have heard that some of you are having trouble finding
Mar 18, 2020, 7:08 PM
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WARNING ----- Be forewarned, with the moss come the chiggers. Boil the moss to eliminate the shiggers.
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All-In [10738]
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Re: I have heard that some of you are having trouble finding
Mar 18, 2020, 9:45 PM
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That was my first thought re the moss ... watch out for biting stinging critters hiding there !! - ">
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Heisman Winner [86025]
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What? No tobacco leaves?!
Mar 18, 2020, 7:42 PM
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They's huge, soft and smooth.
Not to mention you get a two-fer with a nicotine fix.
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Tiger Titan [45906]
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Do you chew your leaf before or after you wipe?***
Mar 18, 2020, 9:35 PM
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All-In [10738]
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Re: I have heard that some of you are having trouble finding
Mar 18, 2020, 7:57 PM
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What a great and wonderful PSA - TBalm !! Never cease to be amazed !! - ">
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Orange Beast [6315]
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Re: I have heard that some of you are having trouble finding
Mar 18, 2020, 8:24 PM
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Somebody must be working from home and lost their focus. That being said thanks for the "public service announcement".
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TigerNet Elite [77446]
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Re: I have heard that some of you are having trouble finding
Mar 18, 2020, 8:43 PM
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Remember the olde camping adage:
Leaflets three, good for TP! (If you’re itching for a good substitute).
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Campus Hero [14002]
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TigerNet Immortal [172833]
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Re: I have heard that some of you are having trouble finding
Mar 18, 2020, 8:57 PM
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Are you drinking again?
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Clemson Icon [27753]
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Re: I have heard that some of you are having trouble finding
Mar 18, 2020, 9:14 PM
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Cottonwood is Populus deltoides. Species names are always small letters. You wouldn’t have passed Dendro! All are goos suggestions however. Be careful with the succulents however. They may be cacti! Needles are not recommended for TP
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Clemson Conqueror [11397]
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Kudzu should work, and it replenishes itself very quickly!!***
Mar 18, 2020, 9:21 PM
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Clemson Icon [27753]
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Re: Kudzu should work, and it replenishes itself very quickly!!***
Mar 18, 2020, 9:32 PM
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WHEN trees leaf out we will all have a steady supply. It’s March! Avoid Toxicodendron radicans at all cost.
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CU Guru [1327]
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Leaves of three will be the end of thee.
Mar 18, 2020, 9:59 PM
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I would rather have Covid.
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Orange Immortal [65567]
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Thank you for your service.***
Mar 19, 2020, 12:01 AM
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CU Guru [1260]
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hey when you gotta go its pretty much any leaf
Mar 19, 2020, 12:38 AM
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except for poison ivy.
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Game Day Hero [4148]
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Re: I have heard that some of you are having trouble finding
Mar 20, 2020, 12:09 AM
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Has anyone checked ebay for 60 year old Sears catalogs? That's what my grandparents used in their outdoor privy. Was always convenient to have an extra on hand for smacking the occasional copperhead that wandered in while the facility was occupied.
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110%er [3722]
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I hear that the three leaf ones do an excellent job***
Mar 20, 2020, 12:19 AM
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CU Guru [1944]
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Re: I have heard that some of you are having trouble finding***
Mar 20, 2020, 5:42 AM
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Campus Hero [13749]
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I have some questions Mr Balm
Mar 20, 2020, 9:34 AM
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When you say “a variety of Vegetables,” What do you mean? I know I’ve been told, pretty specifically, to keep certain vegetables away from my anus. Cucumbers, eggplants, pickles, English cucumbers, and squash are some that come to mind. Do you think I can reintroduce these items in the name of wiping?? Thanks for your help!
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Gridiron Giant [15498]
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Re: I have heard that some of you are having trouble finding
Mar 20, 2020, 11:51 AM
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You left out small rabbits, in case none of the good leaves are not available.
Also, eating Tide Pods prevents the virus, so you don't have to go to the bathroom so much.
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Replies: 22
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