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Replies: 13
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Ring of Honor [23896]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Stop sulking...get on with your Dad Joke lives...even on a Monday!
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Jun 2, 2025, 8:24 AM
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Unless you've had an addition or subtraction (blessings, if so) to your family structure, nothing's changed since last Friday. Control what you can...the rest is noise. We're not pressing grapes and making whine, here...uh uh. We groan...with a smile...and might even stifle a giggle.
Why shouldn't your write with a broken pencil?
Because it's pointless! (See...we groan!)
Do lipstick and mascara ever argue?
Sure, but then they make up! (A stifle...just maybe?)
A woman says to her doctor, "Every day my husband seems to lose his temper for no reason. It scares me!"
Doc says, "I have a cure for that. When it seems he's getting angry, sip water from a glass and start swishing it around in your mouth. Just swish and swish, but don't swallow until he either leaves the room or calms down"
She returns in two weeks looking fresh and reborn. "That was a brilliant idea! Each time he started to lose it, I swished and swished and he calmed right down. How does a glass of water do that?"
The doc replied, "The water itself does nothing. It's keeping your mouth shut that does the trick!"
(I'm not telling Mrs. Salty that one! Nope...no way! I want to live!)
Slay the week Tiger Nation. For those heading out on vacation...safe travels...have fun...immerse yourselves in the love you'll be surrounded by!
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TigerNet Elite [74967]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Stop sulking...get on with your Dad Joke lives...even on a Monday!
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Jun 2, 2025, 8:26 AM
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A guy and his wife are sitting and watching a boxing match on television. The husband sighs and complains, “This is disappointing. It only lasted for 30 seconds!” “Good,” replied his wife. “Now you know how I always feel.”
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them in the office and they took off for her house. Exhausted from the afternoon's activities, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p.m. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Confused, she nonetheless complied and he slipped into his shoes and drove home. "Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house. "Darling," replied the man, "I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary. I fell asleep in her bed and didn't wake up until eight o'clock." The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You liar! You've been playing golf!"
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TigerNet Immortal [171621]
TigerPulse: 100%
69
Posts: 48008
Joined: 2007
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Why do gas stations charge to fill your tires?
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Jun 2, 2025, 8:31 AM
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Inflation
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Tiger Titan [48498]
TigerPulse: 100%
58
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Re: Stop sulking...get on with your Dad Joke lives...even on a Monday!
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Jun 2, 2025, 8:36 AM
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Four young ladies were riding in a car. One girl was from Idaho, one was from Washington, one was from South Carolina, and one was from Ohio.
The young lady from Idaho opens a bag that she had with her and pulls out a potato. “Ugh,” she said. I am so tired of these potatoes. Where I am from, these things are everywhere! I am sick of them." So she rolls down her window and throws the potato out of the car.
The girl from Washington opens her bag and pulls out an apple. “Ugh,” she says! “Where I am from, these things are everywhere. I don’t care if I never see another apple again.” Although the car is moving, she opens her door and throws out the apple as hard as she can.
The girl from South Carolina then opens her car door. “Where I am from, these things are everywhere,” she says as she throws out the girl from Ohio.
A Cubs fan, a Cardinals fan, a Red Sox fan, and a Yankees fan are climbing up a mountain, arguing about who has the most loyal fans.
When they get to the summit, the Cubs fan decides he’s going to end the argument once and for all. He yells “This is for the Cubbies!” and throws himself off the side of the mountain.
Not to be outdone, the Cardinals fan says “This is for the Cardinals!” and he throws himself off the mountain too.
The Red Sox fan thinks for a moment, grins slyly to himself, yells “This is for EVERYBODY!” and pushes the Yankees fan off the mountain.
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Paw Master [17140]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Stop sulking...get on with your Dad Joke lives...even on a Monday!
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Jun 2, 2025, 8:47 AM
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Monday is the day that my coffee needs coffee.
Why did the scarecrow love Mondays? Because he was outstanding in his field.
Why don’t scientists trust atoms on Mondays? Because they make up everything.
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Commissioner [1274]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Stop sulking...get on with your Dad Joke lives...even on a Monday!
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Jun 2, 2025, 8:53 AM
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What do you do with a chemist when he dies?
You Barium,
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Ring of Honor [23896]
TigerPulse: 100%
53
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^^ I groaned!
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Jun 2, 2025, 9:02 AM
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Well done! Welcome, by the way! 
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Commissioner [1274]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: ^^ I groaned!
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Jun 2, 2025, 9:19 AM
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Thank you so much... been silently groaning here for a while...lol
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Dynasty Maker [3597]
TigerPulse: 100%
34
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Re: Stop sulking...get on with your Dad Joke lives...even on a Monday!
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Jun 2, 2025, 9:06 AM
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What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common? They are both Paris-sites! :0)
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Ultimate Tiger [35073]
TigerPulse: 100%
56
Posts: 14486
Joined: 2014
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Re: Stop sulking...get on with your Dad Joke lives...even on a Monday!
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Jun 2, 2025, 9:49 AM
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A man walked into his psychiatrist office wearing a pair of cellophane underpants.
The psychiatrist said, "I can clearly see you're nuts."
If the earth is the 3rd plant from the sun, doesn’t that make every country on earth a third world country?
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Oculus Spirit [42025]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Stop sulking...get on with your Dad Joke lives...even on a Monday!
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Jun 2, 2025, 10:00 AM
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I buy my guns from a guy named T-Rex.
He’s a small arms dealer!
What do call a ghost’s boobies?
Paranormal entitties!
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Ultimate Clemson Legend [102541]
TigerPulse: 100%
64
Posts: 26398
Joined: 2006
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lol***
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Jun 2, 2025, 10:24 AM
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All-In [10847]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Re: Stop sulking...get on with your Dad Joke lives...even on a Monday!
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Jun 2, 2025, 10:46 AM
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Who was the roundest knight in King Arthur's court?
Sir Cumference.
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Ring of Honor [23896]
TigerPulse: 100%
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I'm so glad these weren't wasted on yesterday's poast...
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Jun 2, 2025, 1:15 PM
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Jokes were dumped to page 5 in no time!
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