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Replies: 28
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Legend [15914]
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Posts: 7797
Joined: 11/15/09
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Just sharing my own experience and thoughts
Sep 15, 2022, 5:35 PM
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any how I’ve had very dramatic experiences with my daughter, suicide attempts, and mental illness she suffers
I have no desire to take a thing away from the love and the support the Clemson Fam is showing the Bresee fam, much like many of you have shown that same support to me and my daughter
It’s a beautiful thing.
My ex and I have had many convos how it is (not sure the right word) interesting, too bad, unfortunate… that as we watch our daughter try chemo after chemo (psych meds) that never seem to work.. watch her struggle to get up daily… watch her find the strength to do so.. go to her therapies.. eat right, sleep right, exercise right, not drink or do drugs… and yet everyday carry a pain and anguish in her heart and soul that torments her and is unrelieved to this point, bc it’s mental illness rather cancer, there is no celebration but rather stigma
Oh that crazy girl
She’s just ###### up
Why can’t she just get her act together
It’s a choice
I’ve come to think of her as having mental cancer.
Rather than her physical brain cells betraying her, like Ella, her thoughts do. Like Ella, so far, NOTHING has seemed to help. No money or effort has resulted in relief. Like Ella, in my heart, I believe I’ve come to accept her borderline personality disorder diagnosis as terminal, and it’s heartbreaking to see her suffer daily.
Again, like many of you, my heart and prayers include the Bresee Fam today
I suppose I just wanted to share some of these thoughts for those like my daughter who fight just as hard daily without the fanfare and understanding or support that other diagnoses receive
Much love to all y’all fellow Tigers
And just to add… one of the few experiences that provide temporary distraction/relief is the Clemson game day experience. She is a loud and proud Tiger, and made it to ATL for Ga Tech and Clemson for Furman. I have every reason to believe she and her mom will be in Clemson cheering on the Tigers this Sat too. It feels to me sometimes like an attempt to get just one more positive memory and experience while we still have her
You never know what people have going on
A good reason to treat one another kindly.
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Oculus Spirit [76980]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 28608
Joined: 12/1/18
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Love you brother!
Sep 15, 2022, 5:37 PM
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As we’ve talked before, MI is as debilitating as it gets. I pray for her daily to know her worth and peace for her mind.
You’re a good father. Know that.
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Legend [15914]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 7797
Joined: 11/15/09
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That’s my prayer too
Sep 15, 2022, 6:28 PM
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Not for happiness
You nailed it
Appreciate your kindness
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Oculus Spirit [76980]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 28608
Joined: 12/1/18
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Here for you!***
Sep 15, 2022, 6:30 PM
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All-In [27851]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 5792
Joined: 10/1/15
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Re: Just sharing my own experience and thoughts
Sep 15, 2022, 5:39 PM
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Love you man. I truly hope your daughter, wife and yourself can keep on carrying on. Please hang in there. There shouldn't be a stigma for anyone who is suffering from anything. I am sorry!
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Oculus Spirit [79359]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 13087
Joined: 9/24/18
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I am always eager to see you post . . .
Sep 15, 2022, 5:47 PM
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I get a bit excited to see your name appear and then read your thoughts . . . this time, I hurt with you, your ex and your “baby” . . . I hate the struggles some folks must battle and endure . . . I too, pray for your crew daily and desire self worth, wholeness and contentment to fill your every breath . . .
You are all loved on this end . . . I wish a hug that lingers from a cyber friend could solve your problems . . . if it could, you’d be crying tears of joy right now.
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Legend [15914]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 7797
Joined: 11/15/09
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The feeling is mutual brother
Sep 15, 2022, 6:33 PM
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Between the pandemic beat down in the ICU and my daughters own hospitalizations and struggles, I’ve been more of a lurker than a poster for a couple years now
Appreciate the love
Got a lil of that confetti in my eyes ?
We gotta link up at a game or other when I can get away from this left coast!
Was hoping to come in for NC ST with my gf, but between flights, rental car and the cost of game tix, think it’s gonna have to be another time
Much respect
And GO TIGERS
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Legend [15914]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 7797
Joined: 11/15/09
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My daughter and her mom in ATL
Sep 15, 2022, 5:53 PM
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Two of the biggest Tiger Fans you’ll ever meet
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All-In [27851]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 10/1/15
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Re: My daughter and her mom in ATL
Sep 15, 2022, 5:54 PM
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Your daughter is beautiful my friend. Truly she has an amazing smile!
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All-TigerNet [12876]
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Joined: 3/30/16
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Re: My daughter and her mom in ATL
Sep 15, 2022, 6:11 PM
[ in reply to My daughter and her mom in ATL ] |
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No one would have any idea from that sweet and precious mother/daughter picture.
?'s for all concerned.
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CU Medallion [55426]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 58429
Joined: 7/18/07
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Re: Just sharing my own experience and thoughts
Sep 15, 2022, 5:56 PM
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Anybody who thinks or believes that mental illness is choice, they are suffering with mental illness, or choosing to be a complete idiot without any sign of compassion.
God bless you and your family, and your daughter will be in my prayers. I lost my daughter bc she had a pancreatic hemorrhage in the middle of night, and she died alone in pain on her front porch almost 2 years ago, and I still grieve, and cry over her loss "everyday" of my life!!!
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All-TigerNet [12876]
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Joined: 3/30/16
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Re: Just sharing my own experience and thoughts
Sep 15, 2022, 6:15 PM
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Prayers that you can find some peace from your loss. It is impossible for me know your pain. ?
God bless.
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Legend [15914]
TigerPulse: 100%
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Joined: 11/15/09
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I didn’t know that AO
Sep 15, 2022, 6:40 PM
[ in reply to Re: Just sharing my own experience and thoughts ] |
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I pray you find peace and solace in the love y’all shared and carries on daily in your heart
It’s important to feel the loss, the pain, the sad, the real
But after dipping into it, I find that I must place my focus on the good things or I can find myself in a dark place quickly
Thanks for being part of this Tiger Fam with us
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Orange Blooded [4035]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 3527
Joined: 8/19/03
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Nice post. Prayers
Sep 15, 2022, 6:00 PM
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You are correct, virtually everyone has a story that has not necessarily been told. Burdens we carry. I have a son that has been thru heck and back, and we are still fighting.
Years ago, we were at the Ronald McDonald house in Cleveland and I am almost mush - stressed and worrying about my son, was he going to survive? Then, I sit across from a man and wife whose daughter had a story equal to or worse than ours. Later that night I speak to the man and he thanked me and said he normally did not share - but when he heard how bad we had it - that he realized he was not alone. I had thought the exact same. My point is that when something like Ella happens, while it may not directly affect us, it does highlight that we are not alone in our struggles and pain. We may be wearing gray for Ella, but we also are wearing it for our pain. Sharing in that pain is almost therapeutic.
Again, we all have stories. Share and be good to each other.
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Legend [15914]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 7797
Joined: 11/15/09
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Poignant response
Sep 15, 2022, 6:36 PM
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Thank you for sharing your story and wise perspective
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All-TigerNet [10929]
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Posts: 4671
Joined: 10/25/11
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Always good to read your posts SW.
Sep 15, 2022, 6:05 PM
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You bore much of your soul detailing your CV-19 case management.
So kudos to you for carrying all the emotional weight that you do.
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CU Guru [1098]
TigerPulse: 98%
Posts: 1974
Joined: 11/10/10
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Re: Just sharing my own experience and thoughts
Sep 15, 2022, 6:11 PM
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Man that’s awful that y’all are going through that. I feel like finally many are finding out just how serious mental health really is. I have a very close friend that deals with it. Thankfully he’s able to deal with it through therapy and medication. Sadly it cost him a job he loved so much in the US NAVY. All I know if you know someone that is struggling with MI…..just be there for them…..love em….just be available. Prayers for your daughter and your family.
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110%er [6010]
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Posts: 1664
Joined: 1/13/12
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Re: Just sharing my own experience and thoughts
Sep 15, 2022, 6:27 PM
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You are right Soywalker. There seems to be a stigma about MI as I have witnessed a cousin and others that have tried everything to get better. I also thank you for reaching out to me when I had family members with Covid. I will Keep You and Your Daughter and family in my prayers. You are a good soul.
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Rock Defender [61]
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Re: Just sharing my own experience and thoughts
Sep 15, 2022, 6:19 PM
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My heart goes out to you, soywaker! The hardest thing I've ever done is to be a parent to 2 girls with different MH issues. We've been through the ringer trying different meds and had more struggles than success navigating our behavioral health system. Getting a correct diagnosis and treatment plan that actually helps seems nearly impossible. I tend to be a problem solver by nature, but I can't solve these problems...and it is literally eating me up.
The picture of your daughter and her smiling is precious, and I'm sure you don't need me to tell you to hold it dear. I can empathize and sympathize that these times are too few and there is way too much pain surrounding them. A recent mass reminded me that our pain and suffering on earth is our cross to bear...that sometimes helps. But, it still seems freaking unfair to those suffering from MH, various cancers, etc. Peace to you, Go Tigers!!!
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Orange Blooded [4195]
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Re: Just sharing my own experience and thoughts
Sep 15, 2022, 6:21 PM
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My heart goes out to you and your wife. I know your road has been long and bumpy. May God bless you and those two beautiful ladies!?
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110%er [8278]
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Posts: 3926
Joined: 9/11/08
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Re: Just sharing my own experience and thoughts
Sep 15, 2022, 6:26 PM
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God bless you brother! Thanks for that painful and insightful reminder. My prayers are with you all
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Commissioner [981]
TigerPulse: 96%
Posts: 1308
Joined: 5/1/03
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Re: you're not wrong
Sep 15, 2022, 6:27 PM
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Takes some stones to post this and I appreciate it. I've battled along with that most of my days. My only HOF post is when I lost my dad to cancer in 2006. So I hate to see it. He was 49. I'm 42 now, it's a strange thing. We buried him on my birthday. Six years later my daughter is born on my birthday and eight years later my son was. God has a sense of humor but it's just not very funny sometimes.
I'm sorry for the things you've battled along with her, I know there was a time when my padre felt the same.
❤️
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All-TigerNet [10492]
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Joined: 12/5/15
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Re: Just sharing my own experience and thoughts
Sep 15, 2022, 6:39 PM
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I have experienced this as the primary caregiver. It is HAAAAARRRRDDDD!!!
I call mental illness, “The Loneliest Disease”, because in my experience when it comes knocking, you are on your own. Shouldn’t be, don’t wanna be, but that’s how it’s always worked out in my experience.
As for the stigma? Don’t buy it brother. The stigma is on the ignorant that lack understanding or compassion or both. The stigma is on them.
The throwing darts at a dartboard manner of treatment is excruciating. Every couple of days praying that the next medication will work.
Hang in there. People that see their loved ones through this disease are walking, talking heroes of the first order.
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Orange Blooded [2295]
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Re: Just sharing my own experience and thoughts
Sep 15, 2022, 6:53 PM
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Sorry to hear about your daughter’s struggle. I pray that she finds treatment to help her recover and relieve her suffering.
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CU Medallion [65512]
TigerPulse: 100%
Posts: 33279
Joined: 12/3/03
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Medical science is still largely wandering in the dark
Sep 15, 2022, 7:12 PM
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blindfolded when it comes to mental illness. My wife is going through this same sort of H.ell right now with her mother, who has beginning dementia or alzheimers, I'm not saavy enough to see much of a difference in the two. All I know is a disease is destroying her mind.
She has already "turned" on her only son, who lives with her. He is guilty of nothing but being caught in the crosshairs of this illness. The things she says to him, and about him, make your heart want to explode. And, I know it's only a matter of time before my wife is the next one she "turns" on.
Just as with Ella Bresee, or your daughter, it is all but impossible to see God's will in this kind of suffering. Sometimes, we want to rail against God for allowing it. And yet, he allowed His Only Son to suffer most cruelly of all, past the point of death, to be raised in Glory as our hope of Eternal Life.
Ours is only human understanding, we cannot comprehend the mind of God. But, if you listen to nearly every single person who has ever had a "Near Death Experience", or in the case of Don Piper, a DEATH experience, they all say a version of the same thing. "Suddenly, it all made perfect sense."
Meanwhile, we have to wait for medical science to make small advances, to fight these horrible scourges of physical and mental disease, and cling to the hope that it happens in time to save the ones we hold most dear. Prayers to you for your daughter, and prayers to the rest of us that we may have better understanding of mental illness, and have patience to deal with the consequences of it.
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Team Captain [490]
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Posts: 362
Joined: 9/10/02
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Re: Medical science is still largely wandering in the dark
Sep 15, 2022, 7:19 PM
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God bless you man Always enjoy your posts and you are right Being kind is the only thing we have that helps everyone equally It costs nothing but means everything to someone who needs it
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Orange Blooded [4267]
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Re: Just sharing my own experience and thoughts
Sep 15, 2022, 9:58 PM
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I've never thought of MI this way before.
It's actually eye opening to me.
I have a family member that battles this also...your words give me a different perspective, and respect, for what they go thru.
Thank you for sharing, and God bless your family as you go through this journey.
I don't know that I have the right words to say, but I do know that you have helped me with your message.
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110%er [6446]
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Re: Just sharing my own experience and thoughts
Sep 15, 2022, 10:22 PM
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Amen and God bless your daughter and you and your family!!
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Legend [16027]
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Re: Just sharing my own experience and thoughts
Sep 16, 2022, 4:17 AM
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You and your family are still in my thoughts and prayers. Our youth are growing up in very difficult times. I hope your daughter is much better. I pray God will show a path of happiness , faith and contentment. I understand what you are dealing with. In 2013 my nephew drove down to Clemson parked in a doctors office on a Sunday evening and committed suicide. My daughter a 2015 graduate has battled anxiety attacks since her senior year at Clemson. One night in 2018 she came to me and told me she had been contemplating suicide. My heart stopped but thank God in heaven she is working through her issues. We need to become more aware of the increase in Mental Illness. It’s like any other illness that can take a life. I sincerely appreciate all of the prayers from so many Clemson family. My daughter has a lot of courage. And ask for your prayers. It broke my heart to hear about Ella Bresee passing away. We live in trying times especially for our kid’s.
Let’s pray for them all because we never know what they are going through. May God Bless you all and bring to you many blessings. Our love for one another is what makes Clemson such a special place.
Message was edited by: wueagle86®
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