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Heisman Winner [139288]
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Junge help needed.
Mar 20, 2014, 10:27 AM
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Give me a workable solution to convince 19She to end her miserable POS cocker spaniel's life. This dog is 14+ years old, and is now completely incontinent. He already pi$$ed on the floor twice this morning before 9am, and just 20 minutes ago, I walked into the kitchen and stepped in the most unholy puddle of pi$$ I've seen come out of this dog yet. I don't even know how this one is physiologically possible, given the previous puddles. Even worse, I HAD ON A BRAND NEW PAIR OF SOCKS. BRAND NEW. NEVER WORN. AND NOW THEY'RE SOAKED WITH PI$$.
In case you've forgotten the background on this dickhole dog: he is worthless. He's totally submissive to other dogs, but when a human attempts to discipline him, he rears up and starts fighting. He's bitten me to the bone (literally) at least 4 times before I figured out how to pin him with a knee before ####### him up. He's bitten the kids trying to get food out of their hands ("oh, he didn't mean it!"). It's HER dog, and even she is scared to physically discipline him because he'll snap at her, and she knows it. How in the world is it ok to have a dog in your house that is capable of attacking you? And on top of that, he stinks to high heaven, because of yeast infections in his ears or whatever--allegedly because of the humidity here, but I've never seen another dog of the billions in SC that smell like this prick. You can literally smell the awful from the next room.
So NOW, she is proposing keeping him in diapers at $20/week or so. What? I have an idea. Put this miserable dog to sleep. He can't be enjoying life anyway, being confined to the kitchen.
I'm a dog person, and this animal has sealed the fact that I will not have another dog under my roof for years to come when he finally goes to Doggie Hell.
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Legend [17753]
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There will be no convincing.***
Mar 20, 2014, 10:29 AM
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110%er [8243]
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Just make sure that happens outside.
Mar 20, 2014, 10:48 AM
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No need for the dead dog to shit all over the kitchen floor.
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Rock Defender [54]
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Very simple and workable solution
Mar 20, 2014, 10:30 AM
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Explain:
miserable POS cocker spaniel's life. This dog is 14+ years old, and is now completely incontinent. He already pi$$ed on the floor twice this morning before 9am, and just 20 minutes ago, I walked into the kitchen and stepped in the most unholy puddle of pi$$ I've seen come out of this dog yet. I don't even know how this one is physiologically possible, given the previous puddles. Even worse, I HAD ON A BRAND NEW PAIR OF SOCKS. BRAND NEW. NEVER WORN. AND NOW THEY'RE SOAKED WITH PI$$.
In case you've forgotten the background on this dickhole dog: he is worthless. He's totally submissive to other dogs, but when a human attempts to discipline him, he rears up and starts fighting. He's bitten me to the bone (literally) at least 4 times before I figured out how to pin him with a knee before ####### him up. He's bitten the kids trying to get food out of their hands ("oh, he didn't mean it!"). It's HER dog, and even she is scared to physically discipline him because he'll snap at her, and she knows it. How in the world is it ok to have a dog in your house that is capable of attacking you? And on top of that, he stinks to high heaven, because of yeast infections in his ears or whatever--allegedly because of the humidity here, but I've never seen another dog of the billions in SC that smell like this prick. You can literally smell the awful from the next room.
So NOW, she is proposing keeping him in diapers at $20/week or so. What? I have an idea. Put this miserable dog to sleep. He can't be enjoying life anyway, being confined to the kitchen.
Then take it to the dog death place.
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All-TigerNet [11355]
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Re: Junge help needed.
Mar 20, 2014, 10:32 AM
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Heisman Winner [139288]
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Something I would have never, EVER seriously contemplated
Mar 20, 2014, 10:35 AM
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before meeting this dog. Now? I've been angry enough at this animal to kill it with my bare hands. I wonder if 19She would have forgiven me by now if I'd taken care of business a few years ago?
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Orange Blooded [3935]
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Re: Junge help needed.
Mar 20, 2014, 10:37 AM
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I would use a .22 caliber. Aim into the forehead and right down the spine. Very quick death. There may be some involuntary thrashing of the legs for a minute or two but that will pass.
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Rock Defender [54]
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Being that this is a community dedicated to helping others
Mar 20, 2014, 10:39 AM
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you could tap the shoulder of tatertot and ask him to get his ex-wife to offer some love and care.
Just a thought.
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Rock Defender [54]
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Re: Junge help needed.
Mar 20, 2014, 10:40 AM
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Send me your pin # and your address and take the wife and kids out to a nice dinner tonight. Your problem will be taken care of when you return.
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Hall of Famer [21561]
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Seriously... I would have killed the dog as soon as it
Mar 20, 2014, 10:41 AM
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bit my child. I love my dogs to death and I know that they would not bite anyone with out fearing for their won lives. But my dog took a little toy out of our neighbor's little girl's hand and it scared her. He didn't even bite her, just snatched the toy from her hand. He got a severe beating for that. If he would have actually bit her... I probably would have stangled him to death right there. Like I said... I love my dogs to death... but when it comes to possibly hurting a child... not a chance.
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Rock Defender [54]
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Re: Seriously... I would have killed the dog as soon as it
Mar 20, 2014, 10:43 AM
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In all seriousness, the spaniel breeds can be unpredictable. I had an old roommate have his nose pretty much bitten in half when he got too close to his OWN DOG's face. Obviously not specific to Spaniels, but there's some kind of syndrome that's pretty common in certain breeds of dogs that make them lose all sense of place and "reality" if you will to the point that they can feel like their owner is attacking them when getting too close.
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Hall of Famer [21561]
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I had a spaniel bite me in the hand when I was little.
Mar 20, 2014, 10:46 AM
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I wanted to kill that dog.
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Athletic Dir [534]
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Springer Rage....
Mar 20, 2014, 12:48 PM
[ in reply to Re: Seriously... I would have killed the dog as soon as it ] |
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When we moved, our Springer Spaniel bit a child that stuck his hand through the fence. I thought that's what many dogs would do to protect their territory. Then she bit 2 more children and we took her to the Vet and put her down. Not worth a lawsuit.
I spoke with a breeder of another type of dog and she confirmed that Springer Rage is typically possible with that breed. It could carry over to other Spaniel breeds as well.
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CU Guru [1321]
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Jer-ry! Jer-ry! Jer-ry!***
Mar 21, 2014, 9:17 AM
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110%er [8243]
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Truth. The Wife had a crappy little dog before we had kids
Mar 20, 2014, 10:52 AM
[ in reply to Seriously... I would have killed the dog as soon as it ] |
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It snapped at my daughter when she was <9 months old. After a discussion with the wife, I let it slide. A couple months later, it bit my daughter on the leg. After a discussion with the wife, the dog was dead.
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All-In [38514]
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1. Put it down when she's out of town.
Mar 20, 2014, 10:45 AM
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2. Tell her it died in its sleep peacefully.
3. Celebrate with hookers and blow.
4. Post pigs.
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All-In [30570]
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#1 rhymes***
Mar 20, 2014, 11:16 AM
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Oculus Spirit [76461]
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Tatertot is the only one who can help you.***
Mar 20, 2014, 10:47 AM
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CU Medallion [54792]
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easy, GET A CAT
Mar 20, 2014, 10:49 AM
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no..wait, that's not it
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All-In [30570]
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Actually, the cat might take care of his problem.
Mar 20, 2014, 11:17 AM
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That cat would torment the dog to death.
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All-In [33420]
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Tell her if a dog needs to wear diapers, it needs to be put
Mar 20, 2014, 10:53 AM
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down
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All-In [38844]
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Oculus Spirit [79823]
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For one, cocker spaniels generally are horrible little dogs
Mar 20, 2014, 11:04 AM
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Secondly, you should have snapped its neck the first time it bit you to the bone. You sound like that guy who was scared of the family cat, just beat the #### out of that thing. It can only weigh what, 20 pounds?
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Heisman Winner [139288]
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It weighs probably 45 pounds, and it has taken some epic
Mar 20, 2014, 11:11 AM
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beatings, I promise. And it doesn't learn a ### thing from it, either. I'm a lot of things. Scared of that dog isn't one of them.
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Oculus Spirit [79823]
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I suggest strangling it and pretending it died naturally***
Mar 20, 2014, 11:18 AM
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Orange Blooded [4682]
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All-TigerNet [13190]
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Will confer with Dr. DeadAnimals
Mar 20, 2014, 11:09 AM
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Have you tried medicine for the pissing problem. I'm fairly certain it exists.
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Heisman Winner [139288]
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Yep. 19She is convinced it helps when he goes outside to
Mar 20, 2014, 11:12 AM
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pi$$ once or twice a day instead of in the house. I mean...yay. At least part of the "incontinence" is intentional. He's not walking around "leaking", he stops and squats, which means he knows what he's doing.
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All-In [38514]
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He squats?
Mar 20, 2014, 11:26 AM
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Just kill that dog.
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Hall of Famer [23792]
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Yeah. When they do that, they're pixxing on you...
Mar 20, 2014, 11:29 AM
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mixaphorically speaking.
Termination with prejudice.
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All-In [49100]
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Simple solution
Mar 20, 2014, 11:10 AM
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Buy a chihuahua. You will hate the little ############ so much that you and the cocker spaniel will be best buds.
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CU Medallion [73570]
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poison***
Mar 20, 2014, 11:24 AM
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Rock Defender [54]
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Install windows in your garage
Mar 20, 2014, 11:40 AM
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then make it an outside dog and post pigs of your wife.
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Orange Blooded [3399]
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My thoughts:
Mar 20, 2014, 11:43 AM
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1. There are literally millions of dogs that are in shelters right now that need homes. Many will be put to death before they are adopted.
2. A dog doesn't know how long it's supposed to live. That's a human expectation we place on them. If it's suffering (which this dog is), the adult thing to do is to end that dog's suffering.
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CU Medallion [54792]
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I'm not 100% percent positive, but I believe that
Mar 20, 2014, 11:46 AM
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shit just got real.
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Rock Defender [54]
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CONFESSION TIME:
Mar 20, 2014, 11:50 AM
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I've never heard anyone refer to a dog's lifespan as "a human expectation we place on them".
That's deep (hang on a sec....WEEEEEE TOOOO DEEEEP....HAY! HAY!...ok I'm back). I guess human lifespan is a human expectation we place on ourselves?
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CU Medallion [54792]
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no...in most cases you gonna die when you gonna die***
Mar 20, 2014, 12:00 PM
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Heisman Winner [136778]
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Of course most people have a real chance for that expectancy
Mar 20, 2014, 12:09 PM
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to be significant, as long as they willingly bend to my iron-fisted will.
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All-In [32108]
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Accidently leave out 10 dark chocolate bars....
Mar 20, 2014, 11:52 AM
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then destroy evidence.
Of course you may have to deal with some throw-up and hershey squirts, but if the dog is old, it might just do the trick.
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Heisman Winner [139288]
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I've considered the "accidental" poison route, but this mutt
Mar 20, 2014, 11:59 AM
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has an iron stomach. I've see him eat a half pound of dark chocolate with no ill effects, not even puking. It's going to have to be slightly more intentional if I poison him, like antifreeze or something.
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Recruit [94]
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Re: I've considered the "accidental" poison route, but this mutt
Mar 20, 2014, 12:44 PM
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Rat poison. For srs. It's delicious and it'll do the trick. Didn't you say you noticed some rather large menacing rats scheming behind your garage?
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All-In [30570]
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All-In [49100]
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All-In [32108]
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Yes***
Mar 20, 2014, 8:03 PM
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Heisman Winner [136778]
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Must I solve ALL of you peoples' dreary workaday problems?
Mar 20, 2014, 12:18 PM
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Empty syringe + air bubble into blood stream = heart attack untraceable to you. As long as the dog's will is in order and he requests no autopsy, you should be in the clear.
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All-TigerNet [12763]
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asphyxiation
Mar 20, 2014, 9:28 PM
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I couldn't do it, but...
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Orange Blooded [3935]
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Re: asphyxiation
Mar 20, 2014, 9:37 PM
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I could. See my earlier post. I think I can do it faster and with less pain. It used to cost about .05 but now a .22 caliber costs much more.
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CU Guru [1334]
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All I can say is good luck my friend....
Mar 21, 2014, 9:12 AM
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Getting ready to go through same situation again with Tatertotshe 2nd dog.
Stocking up on antifreeze this time.
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CU Guru [1321]
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How were you wearing socks that have never been worn?
Mar 21, 2014, 9:23 AM
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Don't convince her. Better to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission. Take the dog to the vet and slip him $20 to say there is no hope for the dog and it is humane to put it down.
Then throw it out the car on the way home. Preferably going 60mph+
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